Bliss.

Bliss.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

It's Always A Good Time. :)

Hello there! 
There have been a lot of things going on lately. I guess it would make sense to use bullet points.
  •  I’ve been making several online purchases and they include:
    • Cuckoo’s Calling (Robert Galbraith)
    • Paper Towns: John Green
      • So basically it made for an okay-ish read. There were some concepts that I liked but the style and language wasn’t really the kind of literature that I would prefer. After reading refined English in classics, it is hard to find that quality of writing in recent authors. The themes may be relevant, the metaphors may be applicable but I find myself intermittently wondering why I am I reading something like this.
      • Some of the quotes from the book that I liked:
        •  It’s so hard to leave- until you leave. And then it’s the easiest goddamned thing in the world.
        • If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.
        • When did we see each other face-to-face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into yours. Before that we were just looking into ideas of each other, like looking at your window shade but never seeing inside. But once the vessel cracks, the light can get in, the light can get out.
  • Recently, there has been a growing popularity of the Dubsmash App in the Girl’s hostel. We got this fun app from Sana (Arsikere) and spent several days lip-syncing to some famous actor’s popular dialogue and then laughing over the same for the next few hours! This time, Di and I had a great time bonding over Dubsmash (“Don ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai” delivered by an angry Divya :P )
  • I’ve been watching some movies lately and most of them have turned out to be good choices.
    • Phantom: We watched this in the theatre and it makes for an interesting face paced thriller albeit without much room for emotions or drama but I suppose that’s how it’s got to be.
    • Gabbar is Back: Happened to watch it on the way to Bangalore. Not bad, but nothing good either. The scenes regarding the money minded schemes of doctors could have been altered because it potrays the medical profession in poor light.
    • Om Shanthi Oshana: A cute Mallu movie
    • Shawshank Redemption: Back in Deeksha, I’d heard of this movie while playing dumb charades but never had a chance to watch it. A beautiful movie! 
  •  I’d been home for the festival and I did the complete vratha after about 4 years. I’m so glad that I could be a part of the celebrations and the entire pooja went on smoothly all thanks to amma’s preparation that began a week in advance. There’s nothing like the satisfaction of being involved in the festival and wholeheartedly participating in the rituals. What we follow is what has been passed on from one generation to the next. In our quest to eagerly accept modernization/Westernisation we must not conveniently choose to forget tradition and culture. Another thing I sorely missed is singing (the Carnatic/light music kind). Although I sound like a pleasant frog at best, it has always given me some satisfaction to sing these songs. I’ve never really been comfortable to sing the same way back in the hostel so I refrain from bothering my vocal chords. We had a few guests over and when I had to sing, I realized that unlike what I read in textbooks, the songs I’ve learnt are etched as ROM (or is it RAM?! :’) ) in my brain and *touch wood* has not evaporated even though it’s been a decade since I learnt some of the songs.
*Experiments*
Family Selfiee!
Pooja scenes :)
  • Some of the latest songs that are reverberating in my mind include:
o   Saaware : Phantom
o   Beautiful Now : Zedd
o   Run Away With Me : Carly Rae Jepson (A carefree, cheerful song)
o   Gulabi: Sachin-Jigar (morning suprabatham)
o   Shut up and dance with me (Such an infectiously happy song!)
o   Zehnaseeb (from the movie Hasee to Phasee)
  • These holidays, I also visited a close relative which was pending since a long time. The visit was something I will cherish for a long time but it also brought forth the reality of old age. At no other juncture does one feel so lost and vulnerable. For a person who’s always been actively engaged in work, it’s hard to learn to sit back and relax. It’s hard to accept the limitations that age imposes on you and that eventually take a toll on your confidence. Another aspect is how it’s hard for those around them to also accept that the person they knew is no longer the same. Yet it’s important to remain hopeful and instil confidence on them. I wish I’d made this visit earlier, but I’m happy that it finally materialized after almost 2.5 years.
  • We had been to this Bharatanatyam program on Saturday where Adi had a few performances. As always, Adi danced well and so did all the tiny tots with bobbing head movements and wide-eyed expressions. To cultivate any hobby or talent is an achievement and truly noteworthy. As Amma frequently says, it is a “sadhana” and if not done when the opportunity is given, there is no room for regret later.
  • September has had several birthdays and this has led to considerable excitement in our group. Abhi’s Birthday was on 20th and BP and I began hatching a plot a fortnight ago and later Govi and Avm also joined the conspiracy. It all began at 12 AM when she cut a small but delectable chocolate truffle in the hostel. There was nothing eventful after this and the next morning BP and I rushed to breakfast making sure we left the birthday girl behind. After the customary oil drenched dosas we briefed Govi about the Plan Of Action and then the two of us headed to VP’s place who had agreed to play host to us madcaps. Icaboo hovered around and guided us in preparing the relatively simple cooker cake. Later BP left for some purchases with Avm. Icaboo and I saved the cake from becoming a soggy mess by some herculean efforts and I began working on the clues. After the two returned, we began to put everything in place. Meanwhile, Govi was entrusted the responsibility of keeping Abhi engaged (since the 3 of us were ignoring her calls) so they went to a temple and later to a boating site in Bhadravathi. After carefully co-ordinating the timings such that we don’t end up running into each other and after sealing the garnished cake, we rushed to college and set up the clues for the treasure hunt. At long last, we began with the cake cutting and the cake was demolished in no time. Thankfully, it was more than edible!  After this, there was some more running around to ensure that the clues were placed appropriately and then, we began. It included places like the first room that Abhi lived in when they joined the hostel, the perennial source of food and her favourite hangout in the hostel (my room), her native place (the library) and the solitary tree in the middle of the field which was our “Getaway” once upon a time. Having succeeded in making Abhi run around, we sat down and did the next most appropriate thing to do: click pictures! It all ended on a good note to a large extent and after this we retired to the cosy confines of our rooms.
Surprises and gifts, endless selfies, cake baking sessions with Icaboo and
running around for the treasure hunt :)
  • In the evening, Abhi decided that she would treat us. The localites managed to arrange an extra vehicle for us and I got the opportunity to ride with Abhi. The best things are reserved for the last, they say and so it was. It began on a shaky start and I’m glad that Abhi had the confidence to sit on the pillion. Gradually I become acclimatized to the darkness, traffic and the chill when we raced against the wind. Nothing can beat the joy of racing (ok, not really because the Purle Road is a bumpy ride with potholes and road humps lurking at every corner) and that too with someone confident enough to sit behind you! :P Yes, I was a teeny bit nervous but all that dissipated soon enough and Govi and Abhilash were kind enough to let me race ahead and scare any poor dog that dared to cross my path. At long last we reached the destination (Pizza Sky) safely and we began hogging. Later we proceeded to Ibaco below for desserts and then it was again time to ride! We had a photo session again (and also another while riding) and it was one amazing experience altogether! I don’t want to exaggerate but honestly, riding against the wind is like setting a caged bird free. The fact that this was at night only made it awesome-er. And the obedient daughter that I am, I did mention to MaPa that “I went on a ride and came back safely.” and received no reprimands. Honestly, the security guards at the gate seem to have given up on us! We’ve become habitual late-comers and because we take the required permission they can’t really complain. It all seemed like the perfect end to the day but there were some more events that threatened to leave a bitter aftertaste but it in the end, it’s all about what we choose to remember. 


Gaadi Scenes! :)

  • The next day, it was Deepu’s b’day so there was another cooking session at midnight and in the evening it was time for the combined treat of the September borns (Likki, Abhi, Deepu and Hkm)  so we (The kodachadri gang – Nammu’s boyprend and +Sanju and Deepu) headed to Anmol for dinner. After another round of hogging and even chomping on some Chocolate Paan ( Yes, I’ve tasted it and it’s not bad after all) we headed back to college. (7 of us +the driver bundled in one auto!)
  •  So today was the Ganesha Visarjan in college and there was music, dance and fireworks. As it has become customary, we did some customary prancing around in the name of dance and here I am now, blogging about the latest updates!
Just like drugs are detoxified in our body to make them less toxic and then removed, one needs to detoxify oneself to prevent accumulation of toxic thoughts and ideas. Irrespective of the surroundings, one must recognize what is toxic to ones’ own progress and what acts as a catalyst.

With the finals approaching in about 2 months, there is considerable tension palpable in the atmosphere and it’s about time I pull up my socks and get down to business.

I’m not sure if I can blog frequently anymore because time has become unbelievably scarce these days. I’ll be heading to Dharwad over the weekend for the Patho quiz so I’m hoping that it all goes well. Hopefully, I’ll complete part 2 of A Story. :)

Friday, September 11, 2015

A Story (Part 1)

The year was 2000. The new generation had stars in its eyes and most of the educated ones wanted to live The Great American Dream. Those with talent, willingness to work and a fair amount of luck made the cut and set sail towards the New World while the rest continued to plough through the same mundane life. But in a small village near Mangalore, one girl dared to dream big.

Income was meagre, expenses were high, debts were mounting and 5 hungry mouths added to Krishnappa’s woes. His eldest daughter Kaveri was a bright young girl who had just completed her PUC from a nearby private college. It was only after much persuasion and contribution from local charitable trusts that he agreed. But today, He was beginning to regret having sown the seeds of a plant that demanded lot more than he could supply. Kaveri had secured distinction in her exams and her rank in the Common Entrance Test indicated the possibility of a medical seat in Bangalore. Encouraged by her teachers, Kaveri decided that she would pursue medicine come what may. Of course, it raised consternation in the family; her mother’s health was deteriorating and her younger brothers also required education. Why couldn’t she just get married and lessen the burden?

Kaveri was firm in her stand; several nights she sat down with her mother and gave her hopes of a better future. She explained how she could earn substantially more in a matter of time if they supported her in her venture. She reminded her of her grandmother who had died because there was no doctor in the village who could treat her. In the time that ensued before they shifted her to the General hospital, her condition had taken a turn for the worse and she passed away in a few days. She promised her mother that what she was doing was for the family, she would come back to the village, she would provide for her brothers’ education and so on. With these promises, she slowly managed to win over her mother.

Her father, on the other hand was a tough nut to crack. He did not oppose the fact that she wanted to study further; it was just that he did not favour her becoming a doctor.
“Why don’t you study B.Sc or B.Com like your friends Gayathri and Veena and become a school teacher? You can live with us and still get your degree. Why do you have to travel so far? Who will fund your education?

Further, he believed that this was where she belonged, in the middle of the serenity and purity of Mother Nature. He feared that the modernization of city life would irrevocably change his daughter.

She assured him that the teachers in her college would help her apply for a loan and scholarships from charitable trusts. Yet, whatever she said, he remained melancholic about her decision. Looking back, he regretted having nourished the seeds sown by her teachers. He had always urged her to do better in every test, exam or competition. Today, what had it led to? He resigned himself to the Fate that his bird had grown wings and was raring to fly into a bigger world. Now, he could only watch the beauty and grace of the bird he had nurtured from a distance.

                                    ***************************

Bangalore was on the brink of a major revolution. Tree-lined avenues and quaint gardens had given way to swanky sky liners, six-lane roads and software techparks. Blessed with pristine and pleasant climate, Bangalore still retained some of its old world charm reminiscent of the colonial era.

Yet, Sagar was like a fish out of water in the cosmopolitan city. Born in the States, he had lived in California for 8 years and then relocated with his family to Bangalore so that they could be around his grandparents. He had tried, struggled and failed at adapting to life in Bangalore. Recluse and reticent, he neither encouraged not actively went in search of any company. Having spent his childhood in a far more developed place, he was initially alarmed by the sight of cows and cars polluting the streets. He had hoped that with time, he would acclimatize to the evolving city yet that was not meant to be. With each passing day, he was filled with a sense of dread and despair. Then mechanical lifestyle did not suit him; he wanted purity of mind and space. Here, he felt compelled to be a part of a rat race he had no interest in running. He seemed to be chasing endlessly with no goal in sight. Often, he questioned himself; why was he doing all this?

Having secured themselves financially from their overseas stint, his parents provided good facilities for him to excel academically. He was enrolled into an intensive coaching program for his +2 to help him get into the best institutions, yet he lacked the spark of enthusiasm that drives one towards success.

The results were announced. He had secured 90% and his performance in the Entrance Test made him eligible for a medical seat in Bangalore. While his parents were elated, it only drove Sagar into greater depths of despair. Fear compelled him to quell his insecurities and he resigned himself to the fate of a caged bird.

While he continued to dwell on the misery of his success, his parents hoped that one day, their son would vocalise his opinion and listen to his heart. They had always encouraged him to follow what he was passionate about, yet through the years, Sagar drifted along neither with enthusiasm nor against resistance. As parents, they were wise enough to give him the freedom of doing what he was passionate about, but their son failed to see the freedom he was bestowed with. Perhaps with time, he would realize that sometimes the cages around us are built by ourselves.

                        **************************************

They say that it is in college that we discover who we truly are. Whether it is true or not is debatable but what cannot be questioned is the fact that it is in college that we get a glimpse of the world.

With hopes, dreams and determination, Kaveri stepped into MS Ramaiah Medical College in the August of 2000. Bangalore was a massive shift from the quaint village she had grown up in. Her college was in the middle of a bustling neighbourhood so traffic and pollution took a toll on her health in the initial days. She lived in a rundown girl’s hostel that reeked of dust and housed more mice than girls. Yet, none of this bothered her. It was the people who took her by surprise, with their indifference to everything that did not concern them. Nobody seemed to care about your existence, your health, your welfare and least of all, your happiness!

Unlike in her village, here nobody seemed to have the time to stop and chat for a while or help her find her bearings in a new city. Being a keen observer, she slowly understood that she needed to adapt in order to survive. If indifference would help her succeed, then so be it! She buried herself completely in her studies, restricted herself to a few acquaintances and did not socialize beyond what was expected of her. Days passed into weeks that slowly turned into months, Kaveri was a changed person: She was confident, self-assured and yes, she was indifferent to everything that did not concern her goal.

The same circumstances can bring out the differences in our personalities. On the same day at the same place, another student walked gates of MS Ramaiah. Sagar was taken aback by the diversity in the student population. There was a sprinkling of students from all over the country; Kannadigas formed the majority closely followed by Keralites, North Indians and students from the North East. In all his earlier experiences, he had never seen such cultural and economic variation coexist. Out of the blue, he was triggered by the urge to know more and he began to emerge from the cocoon he had built around himself. As days passed, he socialized more, he began to appreciate how fortunate he was and he developed an interest towards his academics. The bird had found its wings and began its journey into the limitless sky.

                                    ******************************

Three years had passed since Kaveri had stepped into the hallowed portals of Medicine. While academics remained her sole focus, friends remained far and few. Family had taken a backseat and her visits to her hometown had become perfunctory and awkward. Her mother’s health was uncertain and her father’s salary remained constant against the rising cost of expenses but somewhere in the middle of her zest and zeal for success, she had become apathetic towards her family as well.

“Why doesn’t Kaveri call anymore? She even has a cellphone now. Are we no one to her?” her mother lamented.

To this, her father smiled to himself. He was not surprised by the turn of events.

“Do you know why I insisted on naming her Kaveri? She created more havoc than both the boys ever did. She is the Restless, unstoppable one and she will not stop for anyone or anything. There are no rocks, boulders or hills that hinder the progress of the river Cauvery. It is only when she meets the mighty Ocean that she will halt her pace, pause and reflect on life. I can only hope that such a day will arrive soon.” The wise father replied.

                                                *************************

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Novus Actus Interveniens

Currently dormant on the blogosphere for a variety of reasons:
  • Paucity of time. (5th term is hectic. A certain Sir’s sudden surge in the subject has led to unexpected assignments cropping up out of nowhere and monopolizing the weekends. What began with a harmless blood donation day related poster presentation then led to making mind maps on assigned topics, giving seminars on clinical pathology topics, writing descriptions for museum specimens and now for the actual (official) assignments in our records! Oh, and I was speaking of only Pathology. 3 other subjects are also demanding to be studied.)
  • No 3G in my new room. (I’ve shifted one floor above (that explains for the lack of exercise) and I can barely get 2G in my current location so blogging has suffered a setback.)
  • Writer’s block. I haven’t been reading much these days. I’ve realized that in my current schedule, I can’t possibly read classics which require long stretches at a time which I’m not able to devote. All I can do is snatch a few minutes during classes, postings or prior to bed. I’m currently reading The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (thanks to Anu :) ) and it seems to be interesting (prompted my previous post) although the style of writing could have been a few notches higher. 

But today I have decided to blog come what may! So we’re currently in 5th term and our exams are fast approaching (all the faculties take great pains to remind us at every possible instant about this alarming fact.) and we’re now in General Medicine postings after a month of General Surgery.

During these Surgery postings we saw a lot of ulcers (traumatic, diabetic ulcers in aged individuals, trophic ulcers, varicose (venous) ulcers, arterial ulcers and so on..) and swellings (in the neck region, in the inguinal region, lump in the breast, etc ). We also had to present cases (where once again I exhibited my unfailing talent of making a flop show (I must say, I’m getting good at this! -_-) and we had classes as well. Some were taught by the new surgeon Dr Nagaraj who’s joined Subbaiah after his stint in McGann and he seemed to give us some orientation from the examination point of view. Some others were taught by Aarthi maám (where once again I was distracted by that haircut), Gopinath Sir (who looks for opportunities to show us that he can he sarcastic) and of course, the HoD and Principal of the college who can be described as enthusiastic and passionate (to say the least. This is an online platform, after all) and he ensured that our lunch breaks were reduced to a 15 minute affair on numerous occasions. Nevertheless, I saw my first (and only) surgery (appendicectomy) performed by him during these postings. (an interesting, yet odd experience)

Another interesting update that I must mention is about Pathology. So in an earlier post I’d mentioned about the preliminary round of a Pathology quiz held in our class. As luck would have it, 10 of us were selected for the next round and a quiz was conducted for 5 teams of two participants. We weren’t really given much help regarding the quiz but we just told to read as we normally would and prepare for some embarrassment. As things unfolded, BP and I were a team while Abhi and Bharat were another. The formation of teams was a major confusion created quite a bit of pandemonium. In the weekend leading up to the quiz, the tension was palpable in the air and I was at my wit’s end given that there was also a CSF analysis to be presented on the same afternoon. BP and I spent a good part of the weekend reviewing people and topics of interest over the internet and that proved to be a boon to us the following day. The quiz was interesting we managed to open our account in the first round with a few guesses of the names of the scientists and other famous people. (Giemsa, Barbara McLintock, Papanicolou, Henrietta Lacks..) We faltered in the following rounds, partly due to our carelessness (Fat Embolism) and partly due to stupidity (Etiology) but we tried to cover up for it in the Rapid Fire. We came a close second with 80 points after Abhi and Bharat with 85, and this means that come 26th September, we will head to SDM Medical College, Dharwad for the Pathology Quiz. About the quiz, we need to study a LOTLOTLOT more than what we’re doing right now but Time is just not with us these days given that there is barely time to breathe in the midst of classes, postings, labs studies, records, assignments and yes, some time to unwind with friends..

As for the CSF analysis, we were a group of 5 and there was some or the contribution from 80% of us. 

(Not many people actually caught this bit. :P )

Technical Support:
Script: Karthik BV and Pawan
Videography: Harshit Krishna and Rajesh KH
Narrator: Jayashree Rao

I spoke about the indications for analyzing CerebroSpinal Fluid, the procedure and instruments used in Lumbar Puncture, the physical and biochemical analysis of CSF to differentiate between various etiologies of meningitis, CSF rhinorrhea and some other pointers that must be remembered while examining CSF (eg: one must analyze the sample within an hour of collection, one must not refrigerate the sample and so on.. ) Unfortunately for him, V Sir had to leave the middle of it but luckily for me it came an end without any major hiccup (or cough, literally speaking!)

Recently watched Phantom with friends and we followed this up with dinner at Anmol where we discussed the most controversial topics over the meal but it was an interesting evening on the whole. Off late, I haven’t been too choosy about the movies I’ve watched but we generally have a good time as we go as a group and have fun. Phantom made for a mildly interesting watch although it seems to be too fast paced with minimal room for interpersonal interaction. 

My current soundtrack includes:

  • Gulabi (A slightly old song, from Shuddh Desi Romance but I’ve developed a fondness for it recently. The MTV unplugged version has a vibrant twinge to it so that’s better than the original in my opinion)
  • Saware (by Arijit Singh, from Phantom)
  • Chal Wahaan Jathe Hai (Arijit Singh)
  • Tu Hi Re (an old song sung by Hariharan and Chitra)
  • E Sanje and Dennana Dennana (Flute version) from the movie Rangitaranga

Often, I wonder how is it that some can let go and adapt so instantaneously while others take longer and some take forever. Is it all so ephemeral and fake? Is that what life really is about? Moving from one character to another from time to time? It comes down to this: There are some who attach much meaning to their relations with others, relationships, events, places and everything adds on to their memories. You could say they value every little thing in life, from a broken gift from a now distanced friend which they will refuse to throw away to every person whom they befriend /get acquainted with. And there are others who also have the same friendships, relations and so on, except that they do not attach meaning to everything in life. In such instances, it is easier to walk in and out of situations because there is a lot less baggage and bother. They are also less affected by changes, sudden shift of circumstances and any oscillations. Often, I wonder, which is the path to tread? In this fast paced world, it may seem appropriate to choose the second path because the first path is a classic case of thinking from the heart and not from the brain (although being a medical student, I must refrain from using such unscientific terms) and often only leads to disappointment. But the second one seems too mechanical and business-like to me. It might be the smarter decision but it may not be the one that makes me happy. It takes the innocence out of life if we can be so dissociated from what we feel and what we do. It might make me seem like a fool, but more often than not, I end up in the first case.

Coming to other matters of note, it appears that there will be no definitive changes in my boarding and lodging beginning in the near future. There has been a lot of confusion over this recently and I am mentally fatigued by thinking about the possible outcomes. I realized that I must be flexible to change, to adapt and evolve as the circumstances expect me to. I realize that happiness is every person’s birthright and I cannot covet that of another by my stubbornness. When you’re number is up, they’ll find you. I’m trying hard not to think too much or too far ahead or assume too much but just hope for the best and take it as it comes. It might seem irrational, unnecessary and daunting but it might bring the change that we are looking for. If I don’t believe that it will be possible, who else will?  Yet again, being reminded that there is an eerie resemblance to such events that occurred in the past, this whole concept appears daunting. There is a lot at stake and there is the fear of being left in the lurch but if I realize that I must let go of the cloud of negativity hovering above me and prepare to face the challenges as they come. After all, people take turns in a battle. One must enter the warzone when his compatriot is wounded.

It appears that I have blabbered endlessly and bored you all, yet I am filled with contentment. Nothing clears my head like a nice long blog post! :D