Consent.

Postponing this moment since quite some time now. I still don't know if I can put down everything on my mind.

Home for a week. Highlights include learning to drive in Appa's car under Lokesh's amazing guidance. I was really beginning to enjoy it. Spent quite some time bonding with Di especially since she couldn't make it to school. 

I wish I could be around for Divya and wish I could answer all her questions from whether Pierre Curie would have also died due to radiation exposure if he had not met with an accident, if Albert Einstein and Shiva were vegetarians, if Pastuer invented vaccines for diseases other than rabies and also if Tintin was a Hindu... :)

Yesterday Amma packed chapathis for the train journey because I'm usually famished by the time the train reaches around 9pm. I opened the box to see the familiar rolled chapathis with sugar and ghee. I smiled to myself as I began to munch on it. Rolled sugar chapathis and I have a long history. For the most part of my school life, these were my companions during the lunch break. 2 sugar chapathis and 2 more with chutney pudi. On days that Amma finished cooking the lunch in the morning, the loyal chapathis were replaced by exotic Chitranna, Fried Rice and even the rare Pulav. Irrespective of the breakfast at home, this was always my tiffin for school. I vividly remember, one day in high school when Rachana asked me why did I still eat in rolls like a primary school kid. Unable to give an answer, I had come back at vented on Amma for rolling the chapathis. 'I'm NOT  a Kid!', I had tried to convince her.

After the offending roll was banished for a while, it made a comeback at DCFL occassionally. Since I had to leave pretty early (7.15am), I often ate in the canteen.

And after all these years, when I saw two good old rolls of sugar chapathis tucked neatly in the box, it was a nostalgic moment indeed. What wouldn't I do to have them everyday just like the old days! Who cares of they were in rolls or folds, it was still my mother's cooking.

I don't know why I feel this way. I don't like it and I constantly contain every single emotion that threatens to reveal itself. Under the guise of other preoccupations, I ignore the noise in my mind, the uneasiness gnawing at me from the inside and the message from the distant past now looms in front as a reminder.

My dreams can't be stolen from me. Dreams of happy days and starry nights, dreams of flowery pathways and mistletoe, dreams of everything that I need and want; they are mine.  Every image that I created, every castle that I built in the air, every hope, every desire is mine and mine alone that cannot be trespassed upon without my Consent.

When words fail and you chose to let your brush do the talking...

Today's catharsis
:)

El Oh El

Hello there! Salaam Walekum! Ellarigu Namaskara!

Feeling hyper at midnight is certainly not a good sign. It implies I'm going to get up ultra late tomorrow morning and remain in a drowsy stupor for half the day. 

In Bangalore for the weekend. 5th was Ma's B'day and we had a nice time with a few surprises. :) 

MaPaDi :)

I've been bitten by the "Nostalgia Bug", if such a thing exists. Here's a sneak peek into the past. Basically, I was on Facebook since 2009. And in 2012, that account got deleted. (I had the habit of "deleting the account" and then logging back within 2 weeks so that it wouldn't actually get deleted. But then, I forgot all about it once and thus a new account was created. But luckily I had saved a copy of everything around that time so here's how things were back in Circa 2009-12

Short Hair Scenes. School day at
NIMHANS Convention Centre

Me, Lol. This was at the Case Study at NDRI

 

 Graduation Day. Those days were fun! :")

I had short hair once upon a time. The time when
I decided to cut my own hair. On MLK's B'day. -_-

Sleepover at Syko's, Dholarpur, Science Model Making
3G Connectivity, No prizes, Just a lot of fun. :)

My very first phone. Samsung Corby. Lost it when we shifted
our house for the renovation.

The things I posted on Facebook back then! I'm have glad that the old account doesn't exist anymore. So we had this huge discussion over the possibility of this setup. KK was a Facebook Spamming Friend. :P No Wonder
I got less in HCG. I spent 5 minutes spamming walls everyday. Even during Boards. -_-

Guddi. :D

The Deeksha Days. This was during the one trip we had
during our two years in Deeksha. Striped, smileys and Ponies.
<3

Friends since 2011. Friendships that will last a lifetime. :)

  

MyTeaHouse hangout with X A2 peeps. Ba, Punyakoti and I
literally jumped out of the Deeksha bus and ran towards MyTeaHouse
in our uniforms because we were so excited. :P

Ambli Resort on the way to Mysore during October 2011.
Fun times with the Family. :)

 Sensible posts will make their foray in Shimoga. :)

I've been feeling extremely accomplished lately. Very soon, it will be 5 whole years since I started this blog. I feel the need to commemorate the occasion. Although, I agree that mere ranting about the flaws in my persona, the mundane reality of my life on a public platform does make me accomplished by any definition of the term. Yet, it's something, I'm happy about, something I consider as my achievement.

Anyway, Adios reader. :) 

Candid Confessions.

I need to tell the truth somewhere, to someone. Because I can't keep things bottled up anymore. What do I call it? Not addiction. I left that darn Facebook also. This isn't the first time. I spent the whole day doing nonsense (Ahh, Not Crap) and then I wallow in guilt and despair which never seems to end.All this after a truly BAD performance in Bio yesterday. And I know I'm the girl who talks of Distant Dreams. I just Can't get myself to do something. It's pathetic. I have Base and Moozic to feel guilty about too, Mind you. And I don't wanna go down on my grades but at this freaky rate...... Again another of my defects: Give Up Easily. Pfft.

Well this has GOT TO END. And I need to take immediate action(I.e after this blog). And Daddy shocked me yday by saying if I continue such a patchy performance.No more quizzes. Eeep.. I can't say they're being to strict you know. I think I deserve it. And I'm reading Chicken Soup for The Teenage Soul way more than I need to. Or it ought to be.

On the brighter side... Tomorrow is Rachana's Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yaaay!!!
So I did a card and got her a gift too..Since I couldn't complete my artwork. :(  
Looking Back, I've had SO mUCH Fun with this girl for the last 10 years. I know 1 decade. And It has lasted. 10 summers ago I met her at a park and I know I'll never lose my girl... 

Like I said In my card , I still don't understand how she bore with me.. Acoording to me I can have mad moods, sad silences and can crack the silliest pjs and so on....... But She never made me think that way.. In most of our fights, I would be at fault and yet she would be the one to patch up. She's the patient one , me? the haughty , short tempered impulsive one..
We've had fun in Class, when the teacher was there' not there, During lunch break, sharing our lunch, After school in the auto stand, at each others houses( I remember the Binocular thing at her place and our career discussion in the park near my house), during Guide Camps( The Python Scare Lol!), During school trips( remember that Lady Rambo? And the pool fun I had?), the science models we made, the charts we did for the class, the school day dances, the talents day programs, the Interschool competitions(Horlicks-Camera-U-Fever-Me-Fun-Bus stand rot-Dads came-Confusion-LOL!!!!!), And I could go on and on.....
U kept me balanced and didn't let me go overboard or overexcited or anything.... We're not exactly like 2 peas... We are way different in our choices and opinions at times, but yet that doesn't matter.....
Rachana If you ever read my blog, this is testimony to our Friendship. And I don't want our journey to end. I want to go on and on.. Until I've reached That Destination which I never want to.

                           This is what I intend to gift her tomorrow at Base.


So yeah, On the whole there's been good and bad...
I never told you about WizKids did I? One lovely day! Of courseMLK din know anything, so while I sat questioning why exactly did he have golden hair( He: To hide my white hair.I've bin doing it for the last 2 years. Dint you notice? Me: I have better things to do than stare at your hair). He claims to have a lot of Influence over people(Me: Some people will never be influenced. I'm one of them. He: Good For You.) Went and clicked some photos in Vijay's camera. Anusha took Mani and my photo but sadly all her photos were mysteriously lost. Then what else? As usual , saw a lotta people from across the city..
Sometimes I'm surprised I remember faces so well. Why couldn't I remember how the Root Hair Diagram looked? Then I was a bit upset during the Bus ride back because of Magnet's powers and also that Whistle's Woman( She calls herself a Yellow House leader) 's constant screeches. And what totally irritated me was Vijay asking me if we had fun and when when we said yes like "But you were so quiet..."... Mood Off..
So then I love Mommy and Daddy and I'm thinking of them a lot right now because what I did today(i.e Nothing) made me feel like a cheat ( Like Bobby was told by Miss Grayling in Enid Blyton's St. Clare's). An then we both went home with our Dad's coming almost simultaneously. Dad and Mom have done so much for me... And what I'm doing in Lupin's words is a "Poor Repayment".