Lost.

Days like these feel longer,
The pain underneath feels sharper
The nights are haunted with dread
Lies along the very path that I tread.

You watch the world come crashing down;
The world you carefully constructed
With castles and dreams so beautiful
That the bitter reality is yet to sink in.

Everything that you thought was your own
Was after all a borrowed loan
Everything that you thought to be true
Was after all an elaborate ruse.

A ship stranded at sea,
Where was it meant to be?
A bird bereft of its nest,
Lost and lonely in a futile quest.

//under the veneer of ideals,
Lies the dark bottomless pit of betrayal.
Sometimes what you find out can leave you hurt in ways you never imagined. It leaves you wishing for the lies to be true;
For the truth might just be too bitter.

Disgust

Yes, you guessed right. Stemming from within and clouding my judgement, my disgust has only been growing stronger.

It is said that one should believe in their own brand but what's the road ahead when you no longer recognize yourself in the rat race.

There is so much to do in the one life that we have but do we really live it to the maximum or just exist until the next day arrives? Recently, a student ended his life and the incident has sent shockwaves across the students with each one offering their own interpretation. It is easy for us to pass judgement about his action but it got me thinking. What is a life that is not well-lived? Is there any pride in merely existing and not making the most of what this life had to offer?

Incidents like this reflect the turmoil within and make you wonder nobody ever noticed anything amiss. Irrespective of the momentary 'gut' that many people see as bravery, it is still a choice that one makes and there could always have been other options.

This post unfortunately isn’t going to be a happy one as recent events have left me angry to say the least. When greed gets the better of a person, it eats away at the root of who they were leaving behind an unhappy excuse of who they were. How much is enough for a person to be content? The fact is, once greed has settled itself inside you and has started creeping its way through your heart, you will never seem to have enough. There will always be something that you crave but cannot have, something that you think you deserve but cannot afford. You do not claim what is not yours, you work your way to the life you deserve. You cannot expect a life you did not earn. You cannot demand what was never yours. And if you still expect just because you assume you are entitled or that you have been wronged, then it is all the more disgusting. I can only hope that people will see reason and behave with more maturity. It also reminds me that I am no longer in a position to expect anything of anybody. If I have any dream, then it is solely MY responsibility to turn it into a reality. If I have to make changes, then so be it.

I have begun to realize that certain relationships are toxic and need to be curtailed. I say “Toxic” because they are counterproductive and only induce more negativity than I can handle. I know I cannot sever ties but encouraging its growth will only cause more harm. Perhaps I function best in the comfort of being by myself. Yes, I enjoy a good banter, but I cherish my own company and would gladly thrive in it. Or maybe I just get tired of people faster than they’d like.

Oh yes,

• Meghana’s engaged. Yayy
• We (8 of us) had been to Chikmangalore
• We (Abhi and I) visited a random Jain temple
• I like Pokemon Go
• How does it feel to meet a friend after nearly 6 years? Let’s hope aii find out soon enuf. *yay?*
• Yep, that's right. My girl was in town before she set off to far away Sonipat and it's beginning to hit me only now that I'm really going to miss this bingo. :(

Songs this season:

• Cheap Thrills (Akkamma creds)
• Looking Too Closely (Suits)
• Hass Nache Le and Da Da Dasse (from Udta Punjab)
• Tu Isaq Mera (judge awayyyyy)

Laters!

Flowers From The Forgotten Past

The old man sat at the end of the lane,

Stringing flowers from sunrise to sundown.
He watched with some joy and some more pain;
His garlands and bouquets across the town.

They came at all times of the day,

In the hopes of winning their loved ones,

After all, flowers speak the language of the soul,

And he wished he had done the same, if only once.

It was only ever in the rain,

As he watched the flowers wilt unused, 

As he remembered the flower he refused,

That he felt in his heart that familiar pain.

//Looking Too Closely - Fink//