Bliss.

Bliss.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Some Anhedonia Please

Hunger, hormones and hummings of the mind probably keeping me awake in no specific order of importance.

I honestly love the vibe of Bangalore. Everytime I go back, it fills me with this zest and passion for life. To never give up, to keep trying to better myself and to aspire higher. It just gets so much harder to hold on to all that once you begin to face the sordid reality here.

I wish that 'feeling' would never dim within me. Its almost like going to Bengaluru is recharging my batteries. 

MaPaDi are the same as always. I do wish I could be spending these years with them. We would go walking everyday, I might have atleast learnt some cooking, Di and I could study together; she'd teach me photosynthesis and I would tell her all about how her body works maybe. I could have played Baddie with Pa, fought with him regularly over my Bindi, make some punny jokes too. We would have gone out over the weekends, meet Atthe Mama Nidhi more often and I could bully Ajji to walk more. Maybe it would have been nice. I'd never know. :)

Yeah, so I'd been to Bangalore over the past week for my cousin's wedding and I can't believe how busy life gets when I'm there. I mean that is there here as well, but somehow its not the same thing.

I miss the unpredictable rains of Bangalore, the chaotic traffic, the calls of 'Soppu' early in the morning, the scent of Amma's Chitranna wafting across the room, the familiar sight of Appa reading the newspaper while Amma grumbles that she does all the work, causing him to fold up the paper and pretend to rush to office. I miss how messy our house is to any outsider but to me, it feels just fine; in fact quite comfortable. I miss the tree lined neighborhoods with all the gossipy fat aunties, the park near my house where I made many a friends and tried climbing those Bs and Cs. I miss Divya and her antics, putting her to sleep narrating those stories that always begin 'Ond Hudgi Idlanthe.. Hesarenu gotta?' And sometimes end with me talking things in my subconsious until Di complains that I'm not making any sense or sometimes it ends with both of us drifting off to dreamland with an unfinished story of a little girl with a big sister..

I don't say this often but it was a really nice wedding especially since the bride and groom had overcome obstacles in their respective lives and were now ready for a new chapter.

When Junior gets all dressed up and is ready for a picture. :D

So Nidhi Di and I met up at Brik Oven for a late Lunch in the past week and I must say it is worth that twenty minute wait just to get into this rather small pizzeria that also serves the most almighty Nutella Freak Shakes!! The pizzas pretty much melt in your mouth leaving you craving from more. This just makes me wonder, how heavenly would Pizza taste in Naples, the Pizza Capital of the World? (YES, I have a thing for capitalization.) Pretty awkward that my younger sister treats me on getting into an amazing job at Ernst and Young while I'm an unemployed student but I guess that's how it is, for now.

MaPaDi had a walk at Emmen Park and then headed to our fav eatery, Pai Viceroy before Pa dropped me off at the station amidst another downpour.

As we waited for the 11pm Talguppa Express, I asked Pa about his time at NITK, did he travel home often, did his dad also pick him up at the station just like he always does for me and so on. I realized there are so many stories that I want to know about Amma and Appa. Like the time he played a cat in a school play or the time Amma nearly got caught plucking fruits from the neighborhood, or their times in college, their friends and so on. I mean there's so much I don't know..

My old friends, Cough and Cold are back in town and since I'm always the gracious host, I seem to have given them shelter but notice has been served and they shall be duely evicted.

Surgery postings came to an end after a joint effort of sorts end posting test. We 'presented' the findings of an ulcer case to Aarthi ma'am and that was about it.
Currently posted in Paediatrics for the next month and this would be our final posting. Hence, I've got to start reading soon (also because Sir knows my name. Thus making me a potential target for bombardment with question missiles that cannot be dodged by avoiding eye contact or skillful scribbling into the notebook).

I've probably regained my status as a pizza addict. Be it good old Domi Doesn't Know, Brik Oven or even a localite who can make pizas for brunch;

I think food is my Achilles heel. -_- 

This reminds me, I NEED to restart jogging and exercise. Especially with the Delhi trip coming up. XD

Anyhoo that book of which I am also a part has finally released and I urge you all to get a copy  ( at a discount). The proceeds from the book will go to an NGO so its for a good cause as well. 

Good things will eventually happen. Patience never goes unrewarded. Until then, remember everything that you truly believe in.

So that's all for now folks!
There may be more but to be honest.. maybe this is all that matters. L
Oh and I almost forgot, I AM FINALLY DONE WATCHING 10 SEASONS OF FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. 

Psychiatry Case Presentation Abstract

Diagnostician’s Dilemma: Convulsing from OCD to CPS!

Presenter: Ms. Jayashree S Rao, 4th year MBBS

Treating Team: Dr. K S Shubrata, Associate Professor, Dr. Narendra, Assistant Professor, Dr. Nagaraj A V, Consultant Neurologist

Mr M, a 30 year old single male, working as an employee in a government office, from an MSES, urban background, presented to us in January 2017 with an illness of 3 years duration. His illness was of insidious onset and episodic course, characterized by brief episodes of obsessive rumination lasting for less than 5 minutes, multiple times a day and decreased concentration in work because of these thoughts. He was also suffering from adjustment disorder, depressive type because of these unremitting episodes. He has taken multiple consultations with psychiatrists with failed trials of Sertraline 150mg and Fluoxetine 60mg. He has also taken five sessions of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (Exposure Response and Prevention) but to no avail. Mental status examination revealed depressed affect and obsessive rumination of which the exact theme was not clear. Further clarification in history revealed that these episodes were actually a part of Complex Partial Seizures. Neurologist opinion was sought and the EEG revealed inferior frontal and temporal epileptiform discharges. He was started on carbamazepine with which the episodes showed complete remission.


This case stresses the importance of detailed history taking without biased mind and getting the right investigation as and when required.

Monday, May 8, 2017

C'Est La vie

Hey There (imaginary delilahs)

It’s been a while and I’m back with some illogical philosophies. But before I get down to that, here’s the usual update:
  • Done with Oh Bhi Jee internals
So we had two papers of 3 hour duration each on the same day with an hour in between to feed our hungry souls and rest those aching hands. Nevertheless, I’m glad I’m done with it (atleast for now).
  • Dilli Calling
Many years ago one foolish girl kept this college as one of the options while writing the NEET exams. Come this June, a big contingent will be heading to LHMC for their medical conference.
  • Baarish
Rainy days are here again and no better place to enjoy monsoon than Malnad, the lap of nature. :)
  • Movies:
  1. Baahubali 2 (In Appa’s words, ‘bundle’:P )
  2. Beauty And The Beast (Ah, Emma! )

On an unrelated note, there’s probably so much to myself that I’m discovering. My own likes, dislikes, desires and dreams. With age, you discover different facets to your personality. You begin to see some of the pieces of your own jigsaw ‘Unpuzzle’ itself.

 I’ve also been riddled with a doubt that most would dismiss as the heights of overthinking but I’d still like to get some answers which have so far been unsatisfactory..

Perhaps it is a very primitive thought but I’d like to know atleast now, after 22 years of existence! Does one generally react and then analyse the reason for their action or is it the other way round?

Say you are harbouring feelings of anger/jealousy/pity/love for a person and your behaviour towards that person is according to this. My doubt would be that which comes first? Are we all aware of the reason behind our behaviour or does it flash to us later as an epiphany? Would it be strange if I said that sometimes we are ignorant of our own feelings but we react instinctively? And when you put it all together you have a ‘Eureka’ moment?

Another recent thought that has been niggling at the back of my mind is how much of our beliefs are our own and how much of it has been handed down to us based on our upbringing? Do we have a rational explanation for our beliefs and choices or does it all boil down to ‘This is what I was told at home?’. It makes sense if one can justify these beliefs by their own conscious decisions but it is necessary to consider this. Else, we would just be blind followers with no basis. It may have got to do with the smallest of lifestyle practices to bigger life-altering choices, but my point is, it is important to ask ourselves these vital questions.

Chalo then people, If I have succeeded in making you ponder for a few moments, then I am glad for blogging this randomness. :)

When MaPa come visiting and we have the most amazing time :)
Because I find sleeping bovine animals cute.