Bliss.

Bliss.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Blogspired.

A long time ago, young girl was mesmerized by a blog.

A blog of a genius, whose ramblings still make me smile and gain inspiration every time I read it. I still remember the day, it was the day before our English Language exam but I didn't regret the time I spent for one moment. For the next 2 years or so, that blog remained an inspiration to work hard, to push myself further and to dare to dream big. The experiences, the effort behind every success, the strong urge to keep improving oneself and so many more features of the blog made it a sort of Bible for me. I faithfully read and re-read every line and like plant feeding on nutrients and sunlight for existence, the blog fed my soul at a time when life seemed to be going astray. True, I didn't get to do what I initially intended to do, but it doesn't mean that I've given up. My coffee addiction partly stems from the blog wherein the author indulged on copious amounts of caffeine in order to make the most of time which will never come back to us.

To this day, the dream remains, the fire is still burning and the desire to reach that dream destination is stronger than ever. It is this dream which pushes me every time I begin to falter or decrease my tempo, it is this dream that helps me shut out all the unwanted bullshit and narrow down my priorities.

And today I read something similar, but something I could relate with to a greater extent. A genius, no doubt (BMC and JIPMER) with a genuine love and passion for medicine which is reflected in the enthusiasm in the posts about the cases. The single minded devotion, the long journey of a medical student from the final years of UG through PG and to the present have been encapsulated to make an interesting read. As a fellow blogger, it indeed means a lot to see the journey of a doctor through the years..

Reading this blog also reminded me that It's about time I pull up my socks and get back on track to the things that matter. It's important to keep revising old knowledge in order to cement their existence in your brain and at the same time keep acquiring new knowledge everyday to widen your database.

Adios Amigo. :)

Sunday, February 15, 2015

Nocturnal Notes.

Back again rather early, am I? Pardon me but I wish to rant and rant I shall because what greater purpose does my blog serve?

Preparations for College Day is progressing well and the excitement is in the air despite a number of students trickling out of the campus owing to the extended weekend. Lighting arrangements are being made and one is reminded of our enthusiasm last year at seeing the decked up college lit up in the darkness. 

Sometimes you let go of your ego and try to build bridges but in the bargain you end up burning another set of bridges. Ultimately the key rests within us, the key to our happiness. We choose what we get affected by. You could say a zillion things and they can bounce away without leaving the tiniest dent. Or the smallest of carefully phrased remarks could leave a scar whose pain sears deep within. It's all in the mind. (Invictus ;) )

Nevertheless, it is important to remember that there will always be naysayers, critics and negativity. Look at the better aspects, accept them, improvise and eliminate the bullshit. Like I've said on earlier occasions, nobody can rob you of your happiness. It doesn't mean you surround yourself with sycophants, it means that you let your conscience decide. At such junctures, it is essential to remember that there are bigger and better things to deal with and it is better to focus the limited neuronal capacity that we've been allotted with on such aspects.

I realized that I've actually grown as an individual and it doesn't bother about what people assume about me. Of course, I haven't developed complete immunity but I guess I've got a strong vaccine against it for now. I can laugh it off because I've realized that it is virtually impossible to convince anybody of anything so I might as well stop trying and just continue with my work. You will begin to feel less hurt when you tie your happiness to goals rather than to people.

In the past 12 hours, I've watched a marathon session of movies that are each beyond comparison.

  • The Imitation Game
  • A Beautiful Mind (A tearful watch. A definite must-watch.)
  • Lincoln (2012) [in parts]
Currently reading:
  • The Writerly Life by RK Narayan
It's about time I restart reading the following books:
  • Robbins
  • KDT
  • Ananthnarayan
  • KSN
Ah, the bliss of the nocturnal rambler.

Bonded by a common goal, they were entwined as a single soul

Thursday, February 12, 2015

February Jitters.

Hello there, readers. I have been unfaithful and this shall hopefully not repeat. 

The sporting events at Subbaiah have (almost) come to a conclusion. We had two days at Nehru Stadium where the track events, badminton, basketball, football and kho-kho were held while cricket, throwball and volleyball for boys and girls were held on the campus itself.

In the week prior to the sporting events, the campus was abuzz with activity, an unprecedented number of students were up at the crack of dawn to practise for the upcoming matches and coaching sessions continued late into the night. Badminton left me weary and tired and the additional basketball practise sessions in the stadium after freezing in the auto-ride had me completely exhausted and fatigued. But the funniest thing is despite the sudden increase in physical activity, I had trouble falling asleep and several nights were spent tossing and turning or pondering over ways to better my game. You could say it was a mild obsession to change the outcome of the match compared to last year and nobody believed it more than myself.

D-day arrived and events unfolded in an unexpected manner. Newer, better players had surfaced and I realized that there are miles to go before I get there. Yes, it's never easy to take defeat but eventually you'll have to take it in your stride. I gave it all my effort, but surely, I could do better. Because it certainly seems hard to digest the fact that I've given my best and I can't do better than that. 

PPK, Jeslin and I. Baddie Day!
Be that as it may, moving on to basketball, the first match that we played was fairly decent and both teams played in the spirit of the game. We won thanks to Pragathi managing to score in the last quarter of the game. The final match turned out to be a pathetic flop show that looked so bad that it was actually hilarious. An absolute disaster though it was, the plus side is that we contributed 1 point to the Mavericks.

On both the days, after the sports session, I indulged in a hogging session either at Cafe Chillax or at Goli with a round of Golgappas (they seem to have become a part of my staple diet. I've had golgappas 5 times in the last 10 days!!) 

The very next day after all these sporting events was Cultural Day 1. Scheduled for the day were Drawing and Sketching, Mehendi, Pick and Speak, Debate and JAM. The turn out was a lot lesser compared to the previous year all thanks to the mass exodus of students to their hometowns assuming that these are "vacations". Nevertheless, the show had to go on and we had to conduct the show for the participants who turned up. Debate was well attended and there was considerable interaction from the audience. The topics were Euthanasia and Groupism in colleges. 

Day 2 began with Rangoli at the footsteps of the college and this was followed by Hairstyling, Face Painting, Quiz Prelims, Singing and Antakshari. The latter turned out to be a crowd-puller thanks to active participation from the faculty (RK Sir was in his element).

Day 3 was the much awaited saree day. Basically an extended photo session. :)

Group Pic :)
Quiz finals was interesting and made us think. But it also was a wake up call to brush up on my fading quizzing skills. We came a close second but the best part was the pic we managed to get with Vaibhav Sir. ;)
  1. Company that manufactures the largest number of tires?
  2. What does the wave form in the Cisco logo signify?
  3. Connect: one bill of laundry, one half read novel, phone number of one girl, one important paper,the heart king from my playing cards, one ring of silver,one pocket and one denim jacket, two passes of a one day match, and brand new sunglasses.
  4. Synonymous company of Sri Kalyanram Iyengar whose product is authorised to be sold solely by Vijaya Bank
  5. The story of Aravinda Pillalamarri and Ravi Kuchimanchi, the NRI couple who returned to India and developed the pedal power generator to light remote, off-the-grid village schools inspired which movie?
  • Happiness is when two minds think alike and one voices what the other wishes. 
  • Joy is when old memories come back in the form of old friends walking back into your life.
  • Awkwardness is when one fails to wriggle out of a situation and hence remains caged in the circumstance.
  • Distance is felt when memories become a burden and you begin to forget the little things.
  • Tolerance is when you don't care enough to be rude so being nice is but natural.
Currently "determined to be depressed". Reasons are plenty but the most prominent of them might have something to do with the upcoming calendar of events. XD 

Sometimes I wonder, what is the purpose of frivolity? I don't mean one must maintain a poker face and a grim outlook towards life. What is the purpose of temporary tomfoolery?But then again, everybody has their own mantra in life. For some it is "Live in the moment" or "Live for the moment", hence consequences of one's actions do not play a prominent role. Ultimately, I wish to have a balance between the two. Life for the moment but make those moments memorable for eternity. Patience is a virtue I have had until now. Sanjana's words will remain in my mind for a long time to come; the sweetness of a laddoo is best enjoyed when one waits until it has cooled down. Being hasty only results in a scalded tongue. :)

I've often prided myself upon the fact that my face seldom betrays my emotions but it has recently come to my knowledge from several unrelated sources that my face is an obvious mirror of the thoughts wreaking havoc in my mind. Now this is a deeply disturbing fact and it must be rectified at the earliest.

So glad that Pa finally found the time to watch PK! Here's hoping that he'll begin Sherlock very soon. Happiness is when you text your family after what seems like ages and actually "chat" with them.

Books are waiting to be opened and it's about time I pick up where I'd stopped. Time waits for none and opportunities favor those give their best. My peers in other colleges are considering research opportunities overseas and here I am with no headway with regards to career. 
  • Listen to Grammy award winning "Winds of Samsara" by Ricky Kej on Youtube. A beautiful watch with melody to accompany.
  • Read the book "Life is what you make it"  by Preethi Shenoy on Atthe's recommendation. A really good read which made a lot of sense. Hope to read more of such books in future. 
  • 'Invictus' by William Ernest Henley is a beautiful and powerful poem.
      

Out of the night that covers me,
 Black as the Pit from pole to pole,   
 thank whatever gods may be   
  For my unconquerable soul.   
   
In the fell clutch of circumstance 
  I have not winced nor cried aloud.   
Under the bludgeonings of chance   
  My head is bloody, but unbowed.   
   
Beyond this place of wrath and tears   
  Looms but the Horror of the shade, 
And yet the menace of the years   
  Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.   
   
It matters not how strait the gate,   
  How charged with punishments the scroll,   
I am the master of my fate:
  I am the captain of my soul.


Abhii
Icabooo
Adii 
Seeya folks! Be back sooon! :)

Monday, February 2, 2015

It's Been A While #2

Hello there readers! It's been awfully long and I've missed the clarity of thought offered by the blogosphere but there's been so much going on lately that there's barely any time to spare.

First there were the internals which seemed to go on for a nightmarishly long time. Sleepless, caffeine induced nights, harried days and a sense of relief mingled with some disappointment after each paper coupled with a bout of cough and cold induced by chillin' on the chilly stairs during some unearthly hour. But there seems to be a marked contrast compared to last year when I was a LOT more nervous, a LOT more high on caffeine but perhaps performed better.

After the theory papers we had practicals and viva-voce where we were gruelled on the knowledge we had gained (over a very short span, no doubt) and after this we were free! Pharmacology and Microbiology went normally and so did Forensic Medicine despite my serious misgivings (my preparation was mostly based on the group study we did the night before the practicals but I guess that was good enough). It was only in Pathology that they took great pains and a lot of care to sarcastically point out how moronic we were and how our concepts were shaky and so on. Nevertheless, that too came to an end and after this, we were homeward bound!

The bus journey back home was one of the horrible-est so far thanks to the bouts of nausea that Nammu and I suffered from. I probably irritated a lot of people by texting them how exactly I was feeling but finally I found the antidote: some loud, pumping music proved to be effective. (But as it happens, such genre are scarce in my playlist) At long last I was home and it felt like the best thing Ever!

Di's first response was to peer curiously at the prominent gash on my face for a few seconds. In fact, for the next few hours, she spoke to the gash more than me because she was so surprised by my altered face. Nevertheless, MaPa were rather relieved after seeing it because they had imagined the worst when I told them there was an ugly scar on my face. (One of the reasons for me to decamp to B'lore were the incessant questions as to how such a thing happened to me! -.-') 


Ma was a lot better but with restricted mobility due to the cast in her foot. It's sad how even a small twist of events can lead to drastic changes. A small slip, an unexpected fall, a fracture, prolonged rest for a few weeks, plans thrown out of schedule. Alterations, accommodations and adjustments to cope with the changes. 

The next day passed in a sleepy haze and I was woken by several friends at midnight when they called to wish me. Yes, I had reached the big Two-Oh. 2 decades of existence on this planet had been successfully accomplished. Not mere existence, but definitely something worthy, and most definitely something more worthy lies ahead. But a little something kept nagging me at the back of my mind. The next morning I woke up to the chorus of "Happy Birthday To You" emerging from the kitchen, Di being the star singer. Only your younger sister is capable of being more excited than you are on your B'day! (Akka, eat more cake, it's your B'day; Akka, there is a party for you in the evening, it will be a big surprise for you, okay?) And then the collages, the cards and gifts that made me cry because it was all so unexpected given the circumstances. The collages from my childhood, the stole that Ma knitted, the ring which I wanted (after I lost my ring last year) and every little thing made me burst into happy tears that left my parents alarmed and Di baffled for a few minutes. Post this, we had the customary visit to the temple and I was just beginning to wonder if some friends had forgotten it was my B'day when the answer presented itself in the form of a knock on the door. I opened the door and Voila! It's Sanjanaa!! And then, everything seemed right again! My happiness knew no bounds and now it all made sense. It was all part of the plan and MaPaDi knew it all along. 

Then there was a short meet with Pingi at CCD followed by some last minute saree shopping and the evening culminated with Atthe, Mama and Nidhi coming home with a cake and everything. All in all, a great day, thanks to every little gesture, wish and greeting.

In the next few days there were plenty of gaadi scenes, (which was a good thing since it's important to be in touch with riding in B'lore traffic) including one to V'nagar. And at long last, it was time to get back to our "nest". After the train journey as the auto made its way to the hostel, for the first time, a new feeling crept in; the feeling of "being back home" which is a strange feeling indeed. 

The college has been abuzz with activity over the fest. Basically there are four teams (Mavericks, Xenobz, Ravens and Nighthawks) and we compete against each other to win the final trophy. Everybody is training for their respective events and the competitive spirit is in the air. The past few days have been unbelievably exhausting given that I'm playing Baddie against strong players such as Icabo.

It also a moment to express my anger against certain atrocities or rather despicable acts committed. Thievery cannot be tolerated. My money is the hard earned money of my parents and nobody has a right to take it away without my knowledge. Ugh.

Currently extremely happy because I have not disappointed Icabo in Patho. :P *PraiseTheLord*

B'ball practice tomorrow at the crack of dawn, so I guess it's time for me to bid adieu!

Current playlist:

  • Aahatein: Ek Main Aur Ek Tu
  • Junoon by Abhijeet Sawant
  • Mera Jeevan Khora Khagaz by Kishore Kumar
Toodles. :)