Bliss.

Bliss.

Friday, June 9, 2017

PsychoBabbles.

Today we saw another Case of cerebral palsy. 6 yr old with development of 6 month old (DQ was 27%, cooing sounds, sits with support and can recognise his family).

The boy does not hear, there is no bladder bowel control, he doesnt chew and does not stand on his own. Does not make eye contact and probably also comes under autistic spectrum. EEG shows epileptogenic discharges and child has had seizures since age 2 has been on rx. It is a case of Global Developmental Delay that is spastic quadriparetic Cerebral Palsy but of unknown etiology (most commonly, the causes are Intrauterine infections or Inborn Error of Metabolism)

Sir broke the news that there can be no improvement. Only vocational and physiotherapy can be done i.e rehabilitation measures. It is sad how these people wish to see their child 'cured'. Financially they are not stable and the mother has to carry her son for quite a distance to take a bus from Honnalli to Shimoga everytime they consult the doctor and all these money making doctors have fed them that child is going to be normal so that they can keep visiting. They have travelled to Davangere and around Shimoga seeking better treatment for their son. Thats just sick. They've already spent 1lac on this because someone gave them hope. Mother was in tears.

So basically he was saying same child in UK would be in a better condition. Self operated wheelchair, much more aggresive speech therapy and vocational therapy would be given. Atleast in the rural set up it is hard to get these facilities. Maybe scenario is better in urban areas. It is tough to handle such situations.. you need to do what is ideal for the patient.. Be practical; but not give up hope of improvement.

I have truckloads of work to do and I am in a state of panic about it rather than tackling each of these tasks one at a time!

  • I've got paediatric records to write.
  • End posting next week for which I've got to study.
  • The case presentation which I need to prepare for and present once in front of my college staff.
  • I've got to prep for that debate that I signed up for (there is a need for more policies on adolescent health.. I've chosen to speak against it..)
  •  I'm also part of the basic life support workshop and they have a frikkin pre test they want us to qualify for by studying, so yeahh.

Another highlight of this month is Sanjana in Shimoga! So the much awaited visit from the Hassan medico happened last week and we had a lovely time as always. After much running around, I was lucky enough to get a gaadi for the weekend. We went on a ride on the Gajanur Sakrebyluru route (which most visitors to Shimoga always marvel) and spent some time in the hostel. Good food and good company always wins hands down. Here's to many more such medicomeetups ahead!

When you are sad, when you think you cannot exterminate the sorrow that engulfs you, when you thinking you are falling deeper and deeper into the well of regret and recollections; remember, you are worth much more. Remember, you deserve the best, remember everything you ever believed in and hold on to it, even if you are clinging to thin ropes that threaten to snap, hold on with every inch of your self worth. Remember, there is potential to better yourself to unforeseen heights.

Immerse yourself in everything that might take you further, drown yourself in work, take a run in the sun or under the stars, break into a sweat until you taste the salt either way. Interact with positive energy and (try to) radiate positivity. Push yourself until you can no longer see where you started from. 

And for heaven's sake, listen to the right kind of music. You'll be fine. Trust me, you've got to be fine.

I recently watched:
  1. American Beauty (what is that movie? -_-)
  2. Lost In Translation (Some similarity that I can now relate to, eh? Haha. The equation between the lead actors is one that leaves you wanting more but something whole and complete as it is, too. I loved the last sound track (Just Like Honey by Jesus and the Mary Chain)
  3. Rudy
Apart from this, I'm probably glad to have this happy hectic schedule and I'm thrilled about this upcoming trip. We're going to be 25 excited college kids! :)

Many of my old classmates (friends) are going overseas to pursue higher studies, some have been placed with generous pay packages and some are into new ventures. *slaps self for drawing comparisons.*

I probably sleeptalk. Or sleepytalk. Ugh. Lol.

Monday, June 5, 2017

More Than Equal

Little ones that come to Earth,
Maybe they are not all equal at birth;
While some grow up with beauty and intelligence,
Others grow on unconditional love and patience.

With eyes that smile but do not see,
Little do they realize everything they could be.
Perhaps a story they would like to say,
With voices that do not see the light of the day.

The same blood that runs in their veins,
Pumps a heart untouched and pure.
Forever they remain free of the stains,
For which the rest of mankind knows no cure.


Written as an ode to the 9 year old girl with Cerebral Palsy..

Thursday, June 1, 2017

BayBoo Days and Movie Nights.

So today was my case presentation in Paediatric postings and seeing how I come up with a blogpost during the course of every clinical posting, here is a low down on today.

Basically I was assigned a neonatal case and we (Likitha, Ankitha and I) began by taking the history from the mother. The baby was born preterm at 36w 1 day and was in the NICU for about 18hr since delivery. After the routine history taking and details about the family and socio economic status, we proceeded to examine the baby.

A cuddly mass of pink, the baby was bundled in layers of clothing which we slowly uncovered until I placed my steth on the bare chest of the little one and there it was; the crystal clear beating of the heart at about 140bpm. I think it was the first time I heard the heart sounds of a newborn and I realized how I should do this more often. After finding the other vitals to be normal, we measured the head circumference, chest circumference, length and weight of the baby and based on the centiles it falls between, it was termed as an 'Appropriate for Gestational Age' baby.

After this we did the Head to Toe Examination of the baby and then we did elicited the neonatal reflexes. Some of them include the Glabellar Tap where a tap on the glabella with a finger causes the baby to blink, Rooting reflex where we touch either side of the mouth and the baby turns to the same side and opens its mouth (in anticipation of feed) and Morro's reflex (where a sudden drop in the level of the head by about 30°causes the baby to extend both its arms with flexion at the elbow and extension at the lower limbs.

The case presentation went without major glitches (thanks to L and A) and we found a 20 day old baby girl in the OPD to demonstrate the reflexes in front of Sir. Although the little one was crying, we managed to intermittently examine the baby.

I don't know if this is just me but Bayboos make me grin from ear to ear, fill me with happiness so much so that I can almost sense the oxytocin surge. The way they regard you intently as you hold them in your arms, the way they blindly grasp your finger in their soft little hand and their incessant cries in soft voices for the next feed are all the more reasons why you would want to play with these angels at all times.

Now that I'm done with the case presentation, the record dilemma awaits me and I hope I shall be done with them given that the Dilli trip is also coming up.

On an unrelated note, it is sometimes amazing to note the diversity of the world we live in. Although we pride ourselves to 'stand out'/'one in a billion', isn't it ironic that we seek out similarities when we fraternise?

We look at the intersection of the Venn Diagram and think, "Oh hey, that's something in common!". We, as humans, like patterns and familiarity and anything that we can resonate with becomes something we value. But what we forget is that the intersection is NOT the whole. Beyond the similarities lie a world of differences that make us so wonderfully unique. And these differences can sometimes make the intersections pale in comparison.

Here's  an update on my playlist which is indeed a long long overdue. Current favourites include:

  • Good Life (From FF8)
  • Bad Liar (Selena)
  • Strip that down (Liam Payne)
  • Thunder (Imagine Dragons)
  • Ijazat (Arijit Singh)
  • Roke Na Ruke Naina 
  • Pal Bhar (Chahunga reprise)
  • Baarish (Half Girlfriend)
  • And I shall not put in Despacito like everyone else because thats probably one of the few decipherable words of the song :') 
Recent movies I've watched include:

  • Beauty and the Beast (with Di)
  • Bahubali 2 
  • Hacksaw Ridge
  • Psycho (a must watch thriller from the 1960s)
  • Forrest Gump
That's all for now! Cya later :)

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Some Anhedonia Please

Hunger, hormones and hummings of the mind probably keeping me awake in no specific order of importance.

I honestly love the vibe of Bangalore. Everytime I go back, it fills me with this zest and passion for life. To never give up, to keep trying to better myself and to aspire higher. It just gets so much harder to hold on to all that once you begin to face the sordid reality here.

I wish that 'feeling' would never dim within me. Its almost like going to Bengaluru is recharging my batteries. 

MaPaDi are the same as always. I do wish I could be spending these years with them. We would go walking everyday, I might have atleast learnt some cooking, Di and I could study together; she'd teach me photosynthesis and I would tell her all about how her body works maybe. I could have played Baddie with Pa, fought with him regularly over my Bindi, make some punny jokes too. We would have gone out over the weekends, meet Atthe Mama Nidhi more often and I could bully Ajji to walk more. Maybe it would have been nice. I'd never know. :)

Yeah, so I'd been to Bangalore over the past week for my cousin's wedding and I can't believe how busy life gets when I'm there. I mean that is there here as well, but somehow its not the same thing.

I miss the unpredictable rains of Bangalore, the chaotic traffic, the calls of 'Soppu' early in the morning, the scent of Amma's Chitranna wafting across the room, the familiar sight of Appa reading the newspaper while Amma grumbles that she does all the work, causing him to fold up the paper and pretend to rush to office. I miss how messy our house is to any outsider but to me, it feels just fine; in fact quite comfortable. I miss the tree lined neighborhoods with all the gossipy fat aunties, the park near my house where I made many a friends and tried climbing those Bs and Cs. I miss Divya and her antics, putting her to sleep narrating those stories that always begin 'Ond Hudgi Idlanthe.. Hesarenu gotta?' And sometimes end with me talking things in my subconsious until Di complains that I'm not making any sense or sometimes it ends with both of us drifting off to dreamland with an unfinished story of a little girl with a big sister..

I don't say this often but it was a really nice wedding especially since the bride and groom had overcome obstacles in their respective lives and were now ready for a new chapter.

When Junior gets all dressed up and is ready for a picture. :D

So Nidhi Di and I met up at Brik Oven for a late Lunch in the past week and I must say it is worth that twenty minute wait just to get into this rather small pizzeria that also serves the most almighty Nutella Freak Shakes!! The pizzas pretty much melt in your mouth leaving you craving from more. This just makes me wonder, how heavenly would Pizza taste in Naples, the Pizza Capital of the World? (YES, I have a thing for capitalization.) Pretty awkward that my younger sister treats me on getting into an amazing job at Ernst and Young while I'm an unemployed student but I guess that's how it is, for now.

MaPaDi had a walk at Emmen Park and then headed to our fav eatery, Pai Viceroy before Pa dropped me off at the station amidst another downpour.

As we waited for the 11pm Talguppa Express, I asked Pa about his time at NITK, did he travel home often, did his dad also pick him up at the station just like he always does for me and so on. I realized there are so many stories that I want to know about Amma and Appa. Like the time he played a cat in a school play or the time Amma nearly got caught plucking fruits from the neighborhood, or their times in college, their friends and so on. I mean there's so much I don't know..

My old friends, Cough and Cold are back in town and since I'm always the gracious host, I seem to have given them shelter but notice has been served and they shall be duely evicted.

Surgery postings came to an end after a joint effort of sorts end posting test. We 'presented' the findings of an ulcer case to Aarthi ma'am and that was about it.
Currently posted in Paediatrics for the next month and this would be our final posting. Hence, I've got to start reading soon (also because Sir knows my name. Thus making me a potential target for bombardment with question missiles that cannot be dodged by avoiding eye contact or skillful scribbling into the notebook).

I've probably regained my status as a pizza addict. Be it good old Domi Doesn't Know, Brik Oven or even a localite who can make pizas for brunch;

I think food is my Achilles heel. -_- 

This reminds me, I NEED to restart jogging and exercise. Especially with the Delhi trip coming up. XD

Anyhoo that book of which I am also a part has finally released and I urge you all to get a copy  ( at a discount). The proceeds from the book will go to an NGO so its for a good cause as well. 

Good things will eventually happen. Patience never goes unrewarded. Until then, remember everything that you truly believe in.

So that's all for now folks!
There may be more but to be honest.. maybe this is all that matters. L
Oh and I almost forgot, I AM FINALLY DONE WATCHING 10 SEASONS OF FRIENDS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. 

Psychiatry Case Presentation Abstract

Diagnostician’s Dilemma: Convulsing from OCD to CPS!

Presenter: Ms. Jayashree S Rao, 4th year MBBS

Treating Team: Dr. K S Shubrata, Associate Professor, Dr. Narendra, Assistant Professor, Dr. Nagaraj A V, Consultant Neurologist

Mr M, a 30 year old single male, working as an employee in a government office, from an MSES, urban background, presented to us in January 2017 with an illness of 3 years duration. His illness was of insidious onset and episodic course, characterized by brief episodes of obsessive rumination lasting for less than 5 minutes, multiple times a day and decreased concentration in work because of these thoughts. He was also suffering from adjustment disorder, depressive type because of these unremitting episodes. He has taken multiple consultations with psychiatrists with failed trials of Sertraline 150mg and Fluoxetine 60mg. He has also taken five sessions of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (Exposure Response and Prevention) but to no avail. Mental status examination revealed depressed affect and obsessive rumination of which the exact theme was not clear. Further clarification in history revealed that these episodes were actually a part of Complex Partial Seizures. Neurologist opinion was sought and the EEG revealed inferior frontal and temporal epileptiform discharges. He was started on carbamazepine with which the episodes showed complete remission.


This case stresses the importance of detailed history taking without biased mind and getting the right investigation as and when required.

Monday, May 8, 2017

C'Est La vie

Hey There (imaginary delilahs)

It’s been a while and I’m back with some illogical philosophies. But before I get down to that, here’s the usual update:
  • Done with Oh Bhi Jee internals
So we had two papers of 3 hour duration each on the same day with an hour in between to feed our hungry souls and rest those aching hands. Nevertheless, I’m glad I’m done with it (atleast for now).
  • Dilli Calling
Many years ago one foolish girl kept this college as one of the options while writing the NEET exams. Come this June, a big contingent will be heading to LHMC for their medical conference.
  • Baarish
Rainy days are here again and no better place to enjoy monsoon than Malnad, the lap of nature. :)
  • Movies:
  1. Baahubali 2 (In Appa’s words, ‘bundle’:P )
  2. Beauty And The Beast (Ah, Emma! )

On an unrelated note, there’s probably so much to myself that I’m discovering. My own likes, dislikes, desires and dreams. With age, you discover different facets to your personality. You begin to see some of the pieces of your own jigsaw ‘Unpuzzle’ itself.

 I’ve also been riddled with a doubt that most would dismiss as the heights of overthinking but I’d still like to get some answers which have so far been unsatisfactory..

Perhaps it is a very primitive thought but I’d like to know atleast now, after 22 years of existence! Does one generally react and then analyse the reason for their action or is it the other way round?

Say you are harbouring feelings of anger/jealousy/pity/love for a person and your behaviour towards that person is according to this. My doubt would be that which comes first? Are we all aware of the reason behind our behaviour or does it flash to us later as an epiphany? Would it be strange if I said that sometimes we are ignorant of our own feelings but we react instinctively? And when you put it all together you have a ‘Eureka’ moment?

Another recent thought that has been niggling at the back of my mind is how much of our beliefs are our own and how much of it has been handed down to us based on our upbringing? Do we have a rational explanation for our beliefs and choices or does it all boil down to ‘This is what I was told at home?’. It makes sense if one can justify these beliefs by their own conscious decisions but it is necessary to consider this. Else, we would just be blind followers with no basis. It may have got to do with the smallest of lifestyle practices to bigger life-altering choices, but my point is, it is important to ask ourselves these vital questions.

Chalo then people, If I have succeeded in making you ponder for a few moments, then I am glad for blogging this randomness. :)

When MaPa come visiting and we have the most amazing time :)
Because I find sleeping bovine animals cute.

Monday, April 24, 2017

Quirky and Quizzically yours...

Medicine Postings (it seemed)

The days passed in a flurry of case taking, OPD day and the occasional days where we didn’t do much and D-day arrived. End posti00ng is the trauma that we are subjected to at the end of every posting.

 Now you don’t have to call it trauma but in this particular instance, it would be safe to say that it was a case of ‘self-inflicted trauma’. Roll Numbers 33, 34 and 35 were allotted a case of anemia due to blood loss and after some lengthy discussion and ultimately choosing the ‘right’ (wrong?!) finger, the 3 of us presented our case to Indumathi Maám(!). Let it be known that I have not only established my masochistic tendency but also my seemingly sadistic personality by taking the hardest route out of End Postings. But in my defence, I had assumed that since the case had been presented to her before by our classmate, we would be able to manage it without much difficulty. Added to that was my Delusion (of Reference?!) that she probably favoured us and would therefore not be the hard task master that she always is.

As it happened, we were ‘fried/baked/boiled/roasted’ and served on a platter over the basics of Jugular Venous Pulse. Starting with the wave form to the explanation behind each wave to the reflexes associated to its significance…

Suffice to say that two of us (BV and I) returned to her the next day with the relevant answers and once again we received a volley of questions (Pulsus Bisferiens?! Pulse in Aortic Stenosis?!); which we couldn’t really deflect but it finally brought us to the end of the GM postings for this term.

I’m currently in Surgery Postings where things are a bit lowkey. However we did see a case of hernia and also a fibroadenoma along with its surgery by none other than Dr Arathi maám. We’ve got series of internals coming up in the next month so gear up for caffeine intoxicated late night posts about life, love, lungs, liver and maybe some laughter. (HOPEFULLY THAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN)

Next up would be the special mention of Simbiosis 2K17.

Govi and I were a team and without much preparation (and some serious tummy troubles), I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to try our luck. The Prelims were tougher than we expected and we didn’t have high hopes but given how there weren’t too many teams, it would have been a shame if we hadn’t qualified. We recollected most of the questions (something I almost Never do!) and after some tense moments of waiting, panicking and regretting, I got the much awaited call from an unknown number.


The final; to be brief, was interesting and lead to a tie between the two teams from our college. After two failed attempts at breaking the tie, the other team (Ft. Harikrishna and Giri anna) were the winners based on their prelim scores.

Nevertheless, it was a good moment, reminiscent of the past and gave hope for more such possibilities.

Surgery postings in the past week was mostly spend in Nog’s chamber apart from the one day where we’d been to the OT and we got to see an Umbilical Hernia and a case of Indirect Inguinal Hernia (which was later found to be a sliding hernia) being operated upon by (my fav) Arathi maám, Suresh Sir (quite the contrary of how he is in the OPD) and Gopinath Sir.

Post that, I wrecked my brains out over some brainy matters. Yep, Abhi and I were preparing for the State level Psychiatry quiz organized by the Karnataka Chapter of the Indian Psychiatric Society and it turned out to be quite interesting. Especially when we attributed each personality disorder with different people around us* (some were a complete match while some only exhibited a few traits, but nevertheless, it was good fun reading on some of the crazy stuff  (some of it did come in the final quiz and we were inappropriately excited upon being asked about a culture specific sexual delusional disorder :’) )

We travelled to C’durga via Govt bus after a bumpy journey filled with creepy men at whom I threw angry murderous looks because they dared to stare at my dozing dosth and all other annoying patterns of the Y chromosome. After my mostfavouritebutneverevermadeinthemess breakfast of Pongii and some last minute ‘revision’, the program began and Abhi and I gazed at the CUTESTPERSONONTHEWHOLEOFPLANETEARTH to our heart’s content. The prelims were designed to eliminate people by paucity of time but we tried our best to keep up with the speed of the questionnaire. There were a lot of familiar questions just as there were many which we had no inkling of. After a long wait, (filled only partially by food and mostly by tension, some hope and basic panic), the results were announced and we had made it in the 4th position.

The finals began with BMC, AIMS, SDM, SIMS, JSS and MVJ as the finalists. We had four rounds and the first round was about the sub specialities of Psychiatry while the second one was about Clinical Scenarios conducted by the Prof from BMC. The third round was conducted by a PG from JSS and it was basically an audio visual buzzer round about famous movies, books and personalities associated with mental illness.

We managed to further our lead to a very safe position in this round which was a good idea because the next round was the dreaded rapid fire. So after facing the heat of rapid fire, we remained unscathed and managed to win the first place. :)


It was indeed a great moment and I’m so glad we did this. Somehow, sometimes, things fall in place when you least expect it. Nevertheless, after 3 years of attending quizzes, conferences and MUNs like an enthu cutlet, it felt really good to not come back empty handed. It also kindasortamebi felt good to hear words of appreciation and encouragement from frinz and famili.

The next round would be the South Zonal level but that’s going to be much later.

Anyway, for now, I’ve got to think about what to do with my newly acquired wealth. B) The next month is going to be brutal with OBG internal, Surgery internal, Cousin’s wedding and yet another GM internal all in a span of 3 weeks.

Let’s hope I find my zen in the library and get through this maddening month.

Cheers! <3 ~All thanks to my cord lending friend Accamma:)

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Mimosa Pudica #2

^And how everything has changed but it all still feels the same. Old post with the same Caption under very different circumstances. Or are they all the same?!

Sunday nights are potential blog nights, so let’s get to work! :)

Yes, it's been while and I'd like to inform Whomsoever Concerned that I'm currently in Surgery postings after about 6 weeks in General Medicine Postings.

To give you a brief update about Medicine Postings, it began fairly well with a lot of patients in the initial half because the MCI Inspection was round the corner so you could say our hospital was filled to the brim. We saw quite a few of the usual cases of COPD, TB, ALD, DM, HTN and IHD. We also happened to see some psychiatric patients during these postings and even patients who had psychiatric illness apart from the original reason for their admission.

Over the few weeks, lndumathi Ma'am  was 'feared’ among the student population primarily for her disparaging remarks and comparison with Govt medical colleges but she also taught us a lot of things; or rather told us how much more we would need to be reading to catch up with our counterparts.

We also had a new Prof, lrrfan Sir who again expected much more from us This involved me having to auscultate In a patient with RHD for any possible murmur but I  couldn’t seem to elicit anything and later it turned out that there wasn’t any murmur as such but an Ejection Click’ was heard. Nevertheless it was an experience to remember. :)

When I asked Text Fairy to decode the next part of my blog. -_-

To be continued when I find out how to connect my laptop to my phone without WiFi, BlueTooth and when all the USB cords around you seem to fail.

If you're wondering how I typed all this, I took photos of the Word Document, installed Text Fairy, an OCR app to read text in images but it decided to work only for the first image so it's going to be a while before I explain what happens in Medicine End Posting and how Surgery has been going so far.

I have 62625282 things running on my mind, but honestly, the ones that really matter don't demand attention. :')

I'll leave you with this poem that I wrote for the Poetry competition of Simbiosis 2k17 that managed to find itself in second place.

Topic: Dream (This brought back memories of a poem I'd written a year or two ago. I had been looking through some of the past poems for some inspiration prior to the event but I obviously couldn't write along those lines, especially when re-reading them made me feel incredulous about the shit I wrote back then. :')

There are dreams every night,
Dreams that promised of a better tomorrow,
Visions of success flooded my sight,
Joyous was I that I would vanquish all sorrow.

With stars in our eyes, we arrived;
Myriad backgrounds united by a common dream,
Through thick and thin, we strived,
The sweet taste of victory was not far it would seem.

Roadbumps did not hamper our stride,
For years, the midnight oil burnt aglow,
To serve and heal, it would be our pride,
The seeds of good health, we aimed to sow.

Reality gently nudged me awake,
Society and politics threatened to be my brake,
But never a moment shall I rue,
For this dream is coming true!



The eyes had all the answers,
But alas, the language was another.

Monday, April 10, 2017

Harmony

As old as the Sun was their tale
Kindgoms may come and go
Yet She knew that He would never fail,
And the Skies kept their word through high and low.

With bated breath, she held her own,
Through the months of dry famine and drought.
She anticipated His return to the throne,
Come Spring and He would steal the show.

The scent of the rains preluded the entry,
As He graced the barren soil,
The birds sang in unison as His gentry.
To celebrate that He had remained loyal.

Year after year, He retuned to Her,
Not long was their union but no matter,
For it gave courage to bear summers strong,
And cherish the youth in Her, every spring.


//when you're at a vantage point in the library watching the golden sunset and envisioning a summer shower.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Summertime Soliloqouy.

The bird that was meant to soar,
Shall only pause in the summer shade;
It's wings that cannot be chained,
Shall only rest awhile in the storm.

The freedom of the open skies shall prevail,
For nothing could hinder a ship that has set sail,
Perhaphs this was how the journey was meant to be;
In her own strength, with the choice to be free.

Unbound yet with deeper bonds she flew,
In the memories of the past, she grew;
Cherished within were stories untold,
But the beating heart remained it's own.

Every cloud has a silver lining