Musings of May

The Time Machine.

To travel back in time, how I yearn!

Ancient scripts and hieroglyphics to discern,

For glimpses of dynasties and an era gone by,

I'd hop onto a time machine and fly!

Amidst the aristocratic royals at the Promenade,

Perhaps a British earl to serenade,

Beyond the Iron Curtain in an oriental landscape,

Living in exotic castles with trapdoors to escape.

With zest and zeal, I join the Industrial Revolution,

While the world grapples with illnesses having no solution.

The rise of modern era, the decline of an Empire,

Enslaved nations begin to rebel and aspire.

Through the freedom struggles, I stride,

As a new nation is born, I watch with pride.

Through riots, wars, poverty and disease we emerge,

At the dawn of the millenium, we surge.

As I pass through stamped post cards and ringing telephones,

I pause and reflect at this moment of peace,

If only this instant, I could capture and seize;

And not go back to a virus spreading with ease!

Dreaming of cherry blossoms in Japan,

While looking at rotations of my fan.

Scrolling through meadows and mountains afar,

As dust gathers on our unused car.

Building castles in the air,

About when I could go out without a care!

An Ode To Imagination.

On flying chariots and winged unicorns I travel,

Even as spell binding tales of wizards and witches unravel,

On broomsticks and carpets I fly into the starry night,

Or perhaps shuttle across the galaxy, hold tight!

With birds and beasts as companions, I explore,

Unknown lands and mystic folklore,

On other days, I live in a futuristic universe,

With gadgets and gizmos that speak in verse.

They say we lack magic and superpower,

But have you ever stopped to marvel at the mind,

Spinning yarns of places you could never find,

Of creatures and creations beyond our kind?

Neither the past or future we hold,

We can only watch as history shall unfold,

Yet, Imagination, with no threshold,

Is perhaps worth its weight in gold! 

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//To the creativity of every fantasy book you've read, sci-fi thriller you've watched or the latest imaginative series you're bingeing on!//.

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Attempts of April.

I'm probably not going to find a lot of support in this but I'm managing to get through the lockdown without any frustration. 'Is that even normal?' is a valid question at this point but all I'm saying is, I like how I'm getting this time to do everything I've wanted to do.

• I've watched The Office, Money Heist, (most of) Downton Abbey, Pushpavalli, a few good movies here and there. 
• I've been trying to practice some music everyday and it's great to revisit all the songs I learnt more than 10 years ago. 
• There's also some time for art that I have the freedom to attempt thanks to my mom's supplies. I'm also tinkering around in the kitchen these days and the results aren't too bad. 
• After a year of sitting in front of a study table piled with books and being absolutely inactive, it's a great feeling to get some workout within the comfort of my own home, thanks to Cult! (never thought I'd join the cult of Cult followers but there it is! This has really been a boon during this lockdown) 
• The icing on the cake is the new entrant; the Quarantine Quizzing sessions every night that I've joined since the last fortnight. Although the questions are mostly very difficult and my scores are abysmally low, it's a lot like the quizzes I would attend back in school and there's always some interesting trivia to take away from these. 

I've tried to pick up on my reading habit but its a lot slower these days to be honest and that's probably because of my attention span.

• Tell Me Your Dreams : Sidney Sheldon (A book I had wanted to read for a long time now. Unlikely murders, a mental illness and a courtroom drama)
• Nothing Ventured : Jeffrey Archer (The usual tale of twists and turns about a detective out to expose a suave fraudster)
• Fragile Lives: Professor Stephen Westaby (A British Cardiac Surgeon's experience over the years in his profession)
• A Doctor's Chronicles: Dr. Bharath Reddy (A paediatrician sharing is diverse experience of working with kids)
• The Girl On The Train: Paula Hawkins (This is still in progress but it appears to be a thriller set in Britain. As you can see, it hasn't reached the point of being a page-turner yet.)

I've also tried to write, after what seems like ages and although it's far from perfect, I'm really happy with myself for making a start! After drowning in writer's block for ages, this is a breath of fresh air and I'm happy to be making these imperfect attempts at poetry. :)

What would you be?

If you were the wind wafting across the flowers,

Would you caress the flowers, leaving them quivering?

If you were the sturdy tree in the woods,

Would you give a lost soul a humble dwelling?

If you were the ripples in the blue sea,

Would you clutch at the grains of sands anyway?

If you were the raindrops falling from the sky,

Would you sit gently and shimmer on the cobwebs?

If you were the warm crackling fire,

Would your embers give solace to the hillside vagrant?

If you could just be yourself in this world,

Wouldn't it make a difference in the Universe?

The Procrastinating Bibliophile.

To all the books that lie unread,

Purchased once with eagerness,

Yet overlooked for another book instead,

Know that I still love you no less.

To all the books that wait their turn,

Patiently lined up in my shelf,

For a sleek Kindle, I shall never spurn,

Next time, I always tell my lazy self.

To all my books, eager to be read,

Yet, tossed away for a shiny new find,

One fine day, in your path I shall tread,

Until that time, don't you ever mind!

To The White Army.

To my brethren that bleeds elsewhere,

Know that you are precious and rare.

To my comrades without their armour,

Our battles are not one but plenty.

To heal and help we began our journey,

In your recovery, we found our reflected glory.

The nights spent over patients aplenty,

Were worthwhile when they walked out healthy.

While we take on a microscopic enemy,

'Keep Us Safe' being our only plea,

Yet today we stand aghast and helpless,

For mankind can be violent and ruthless.

To my brethren that bleeds elsewhere,

Perhaps not all is lost in despair,

We shall live to see better days,

Humanity shall get through this dark phase.

Jaychu's Kitchen :)

 
 

 

Artistic Attempts :P

 

So that's all for now. Perhaps, there shall be something more interesting coming up in the next blogposts. ;)

Limitless Love .

Wrinkled with the fine lines of their ripe age,
Peppered with the ills that poverty bring,
Bereft of the love and care of their offspring,
They arrived with savings of their meagre wage.

Immobilized by disease, she lay bedridden
Yet beneath the pain, a coy smile was hidden,
Aged yet agile, he rallied around for her care,
Her infected foot, he vowed to repair.

He pleaded and prodded all day long,
Until even the hardest heart melted at his adoration,
His relentless efforts would make her strong,
She regained her colour with his dedication.

A love so pure they shared,
That crossed boundaries of age and ill health,
Others often watched and admired
That their attachment was their one true wealth.

An ode to Mrs. S and her husband whom I had the opportunity to meet during my surgery postings at Hassan.

Summer Child..

The mere memory of you in me
Once had words flowing in a fervent breeze
You remain etched within my soul
Irreplaceably firm from the roots.

I often wondered what had I lost
That words failed me when I needed them most.
Empty and hollow were the echoes of my musings,
Quietly I sheltered myself from my own bruises.

Like the sea that goes back to the sands in vain,
I burn bright in this self inflicted pain,
I smile at the cost of my sanity
And for the fleeting moments of unreality.

A Billion Worlds.

We live in a world of contrasts;
A conglomeration of extremes.
While a little one utters its first cry in a grubby labour room in a village, another is already trending on social media.
While the little girl who studies at the local school dreams of becoming a teacher,
another boy juggles between cricket, guitar and the perfect grades.
While one relishes the chat by the roadside stall as a treat,
another has a brunch at the upscale resort in town.
While one lit the midnight oil in a nondescript town to bring life to those dreams,
another light up to banish those insecurities in a cloud of grey.
While one was blessed with conjugal bliss,
Another was tethered to a lucrative kiss.
While one sweats it out for the daily bread,
another plunders through wastefulness and opulence.
While one surrenders to the elements,
Another challenges them and defies death.
Between these two divides lie the great majority.
In awe of wealth, yet aware of cruel Fate's stealth.     
Cushioned from dire poverty yet embroiled in competitive vagary.
Cocooned from squalor but desirous of glamour.
We live in a world of contrasts;
A conglomeration of extremes.
With a billion stories within us we live,
With hope that some dreams shall fulfil.

Reveries of a Harried Soul.

Sparks Fly

Like the sizzling crackle of embers in dry firewood,
Like the million electric charges piercing barren land,
They were sparks that seemed like fireworks,
An entity so magical best left untouched.

Not dampened by the swirling clouds,
Left unscathed by the scorching heat,
They shone with a glow in their eyes,
Akin to fireflies glittering against the night skies.

Yet every radiant flame that ever shone;
Would know that its light was only a borrowed loan.
The embers that braved the external assault
Were extinguished by their own emptiness.


(16th November)


Raw.

The nervous quiver as I speak
The ugly bruise over my knee
The angry pimple on my cheek
Are honest watermarks of the real me.

The curves of my smile
That curl into a sarcastic jibe
The curves of my imperfect body
I embrace as my quintessential vibe.

But it is the starry dreams of my soul
That make me whole
And the fragile hopes in my heart
That sets me apart.

I speak with feet firm on ground
But with a spirit that soars abound
A heart enslaved by its own wrath
Yet raring to embrace the unknown path.


(26th November)

I am still coughing up in the library but the good news is that our fridge finally has some goodies for snacking in my compartment! The above nonsense was penned at odd hours when I was saturated with Hernias and Hydatiform Moles and decided to spill some thought-ink.

I want this year to end. ASAP. 

String Of Flowers.

A string of flowers for her silky strand,
He walked into her life, asking for her hand.
Endless sunsets and misty mornings in mind,
Reality was otherwise, she would soon find.

Away from the simple cows and the grazing meadow;
A village belle within four walls and a window.
Away from the friendly folk and rustic lore,
She lay forgotten but for her marital chore.

Bereft of the care and love she craved,
Alas, her first born could not be saved.
Agony and pain seethed through her veins,
In futile hope, she clutched at the remains.

No longer was she the cherished one,
After all, she had failed to beget a son.
A string of flowers she saw in his hands,
But they never made it home to her silky strands.

As the eager wife waited in her desolate tome,
The flowers found their way to another home.
And they wondered why she turned insane.
After all, wasn't he handsome and humane?





//Now I'm writing something after what feels like months. I'm surprised I could even string two words together. This is based on a movie plot that I heard from a friend and a fertile imagination. KThanksbye

Summertime Soliloqouy.

The bird that was meant to soar,
Shall only pause in the summer shade;
It's wings that cannot be chained,
Shall only rest awhile in the storm.

The freedom of the open skies shall prevail,
For nothing could hinder a ship that has set sail,
Perhaphs this was how the journey was meant to be;
In her own strength, with the choice to be free.

Unbound yet with deeper bonds she flew,
In the memories of the past, she grew;
Cherished within were stories untold,
But the beating heart remained it's own.

Every cloud has a silver lining 

Moonlight Memoirs.

It was in the quiet melody of the night,
Guided by the tranquil beauty in white,
It was underneath the star spangled sky
That the wandering souls came alive.

She peeked through the veil of grey,
Offering only a sliver of lustrous white
In those fleeting moments she shone
With a radiance that brightened the darkest souls.

It was in the tempest of dark nights,
That the restless wanderer found a lamp,
That the wayward traveller found a path,
When she glowed with an ethereal beauty.

The dark night gave refuge to the haunted
They drifted away in her presence
But to the scheming minds prowling in the dark
But to those who crept stealthily under her light,
She led them to the stairways of death.

Echoes from the border.

The wind howled, its cries echoed across the mountains and the clouds overhead rumbled ominously. As Lieutenant Amit Singh swerved the truck over yet another curve, he glanced at the steep fall that awaited him if he faltered on this precarious route. So accustomed he was to the mundane routine, freezing temperature and rugged existence that he seldom allowed his mind to wander. Behind him were thirteen other army trucks, also carrying supplies to the next base camp.

Scores of tourists frequented these routes every summer. For them, it was a dream vacation to experience the biting cold, to endure high altitudes and travel through rugged terrain. He smiled to himself at the irony; his ideal vacation was to spend a week in the hustle and bustle of his hometown, Kanpur with his family.

His reverie was clouded by the looming mist and only the headlights of vehicles shone through the foggy veil. He switched off the engine and embarked from the truck. About 100 metres away, was yet another vehicle that had lost control on the road and was now stuck in a pit. Vehicles from both sides could not move both ways even as the driver struggled to get the wheel out of the trench.

As his colleagues also arrived to find out the cause for the commotion, the crowd became noisier, the honking grew louder and they anticipated a quick fix to the situation. Tourists were impatient and wanted to reach the highest point. Together, they moved the vehicle out of the pit and the road was once again cleared.

As they approached the camp, the supplies were unloaded and he then made his way to his deployment for the next month. By far, the most favoured among his colleagues, being posted at Nathu La Pass was something he looked forward to experience.

The rain did not seem to daunt the tourists as they braved the hail and snow and began the uphill ascent. At 14200 feet above sea level, one can have very few things running in their mind. The body has not adapted to the extreme climate so most of your energy and thoughts are focused on self-preservation. He watched as young men and women climbed eagerly in anticipation of the Indo-China border.

An elderly man hobbled through the snow, unsure of his next step. He extended a hand to the old man to help him proceed further but the old mans stopped short and gave him a quick salute and continued onwards. Such was the sincerity in his eyes that Lieutenant Amit Singh was startled.

As he made his way further up, a family of three was making its way to the pinnacle even as they were soaked completely by the rain and snow. The little girl’s teeth chattered and she shivered violently with every gust of wind. Her hair was tied into pigtails and drenched in the rain, but she continued to plough her way through the snow.

It was at that precise moment that Lieutenant Amit Singh understood why every soldier returned a happy man after their deployment at Nathu La Pass. Maybe it had something to do with how the mind plays tricks when you are subjected to extremes, but as he looked into the big brown eyes of an unknown girl saluting him, he saw in her, his very own Anjali. Although she was far away from him and anticipating his return, he knew how she often told her friends with pride, “My Papa is protecting our country!”.

The little girl shook hands with him and trudged along with renewed determination but Amit Singh stood rooted to the spot, dazed momentarily by swirling emotions within.

True, tourists might seem as an unnecessary responsibility at an International Border but it is during days like this that you realize how it is also a good thing.

The little girl walked away with the memory of an Indian soldier, but the Lieutenant was consumed by the familiar ache, the unquenchable longing for a home he barely frequented, for the family that was fast becoming accustomed to his absence and for his children who were growing up faster than he could keep pace with.

That night, as he lay in his bunker, he opened the letters from home and began reading the untidy scrawls by his Anjali progressing to legible sentences and now, a well-articulated letter. Tears welled inside him as her remembered her first footsteps; the only milestone that he had witnessed.

True, it was a hard life and many continued to question his decision but he believed in what he was doing and he was proud of his choice. He was a soldier of the Indian army and he knew that despite everything, his family was equally proud of his decision to serve the country.

Forbidden Fruit.

Why do we seek what shall remain elusive?
Why, Oh why do we look for what shall remain evasive?
Deep down the answer is crystal clear,
Yet we ignore it and yield to the fear.

There is beauty in what is forbidden,
There is curiosity towards what is hidden,
We seek, we search in an endless pursuit,
In vain, do we covet the forbidden fruit.

One day, it will dawn that the oasis was only ever a mirage,
That the island in the ocean was only a trick of the mind,
But till that day arrives, dream I shall
Of castles in the air that are doomed to fall.

Maybe it's a wound that I no longer feel,
Or maybe it's a scar that refuses to heal.
But I've begun to find happiness in a lie,
Than feel the pain of the truth I'd rather deny.

Oneiroid State.

Warning: Dream-like state alert owing to insomnia and forensic medicine impenetrance has prompted incoherent babbling. Major throwback to Pingi and all the nonsense she's been hearing in school and deeksha. 

There are mistakes that bring a smile, 

A smile from the closed chapter of a lost book. 

Sometimes the chapters that we choose to overlook, 

Remain as fresh as ever even though it's been a while.

Folded pages and underlined phrases tell a tale, 

But the story between the lines does not unveil. 

Some day we woke up and erased it all away, 

Not knowing that it was etched within us for eternity.

But what book would be complete, 

Without the imperfections of the protagonist? 

It's only through those memorable mistakes replete, 

That I now believe in the perfect tryst.

Novus Actus Interveniens

Currently dormant on the blogosphere for a variety of reasons:

• Paucity of time. (5th term is hectic. A certain Sir’s sudden surge in the subject has led to unexpected assignments cropping up out of nowhere and monopolizing the weekends. What began with a harmless blood donation day related poster presentation then led to making mind maps on assigned topics, giving seminars on clinical pathology topics, writing descriptions for museum specimens and now for the actual (official) assignments in our records! Oh, and I was speaking of only Pathology. 3 other subjects are also demanding to be studied.)

• No 3G in my new room. (I’ve shifted one floor above (that explains for the lack of exercise) and I can barely get 2G in my current location so blogging has suffered a setback.)

• Writer’s block. I haven’t been reading much these days. I’ve realized that in my current schedule, I can’t possibly read classics which require long stretches at a time which I’m not able to devote. All I can do is snatch a few minutes during classes, postings or prior to bed. I’m currently reading The Winner Stands Alone by Paulo Coelho (thanks to Anu :) ) and it seems to be interesting (prompted my previous post) although the style of writing could have been a few notches higher. 

But today I have decided to blog come what may! So we’re currently in 5th term and our exams are fast approaching (all the faculties take great pains to remind us at every possible instant about this alarming fact.) and we’re now in General Medicine postings after a month of General Surgery.

During these Surgery postings we saw a lot of ulcers (traumatic, diabetic ulcers in aged individuals, trophic ulcers, varicose (venous) ulcers, arterial ulcers and so on..) and swellings (in the neck region, in the inguinal region, lump in the breast, etc ). We also had to present cases (where once again I exhibited my unfailing talent of making a flop show (I must say, I’m getting good at this! -_-) and we had classes as well. Some were taught by the new surgeon Dr Nagaraj who’s joined Subbaiah after his stint in McGann and he seemed to give us some orientation from the examination point of view. Some others were taught by Aarthi maám (where once again I was distracted by that haircut), Gopinath Sir (who looks for opportunities to show us that he can he sarcastic) and of course, the HoD and Principal of the college who can be described as enthusiastic and passionate (to say the least. This is an online platform, after all) and he ensured that our lunch breaks were reduced to a 15 minute affair on numerous occasions. Nevertheless, I saw my first (and only) surgery (appendicectomy) performed by him during these postings. (an interesting, yet odd experience)

Another interesting update that I must mention is about Pathology. So in an earlier post I’d mentioned about the preliminary round of a Pathology quiz held in our class. As luck would have it, 10 of us were selected for the next round and a quiz was conducted for 5 teams of two participants. We weren’t really given much help regarding the quiz but we just told to read as we normally would and prepare for some embarrassment. As things unfolded, BP and I were a team while Abhi and Bharat were another. The formation of teams was a major confusion created quite a bit of pandemonium. In the weekend leading up to the quiz, the tension was palpable in the air and I was at my wit’s end given that there was also a CSF analysis to be presented on the same afternoon. BP and I spent a good part of the weekend reviewing people and topics of interest over the internet and that proved to be a boon to us the following day. The quiz was interesting we managed to open our account in the first round with a few guesses of the names of the scientists and other famous people. (Giemsa, Barbara McLintock, Papanicolou, Henrietta Lacks..) We faltered in the following rounds, partly due to our carelessness (Fat Embolism) and partly due to stupidity (Etiology) but we tried to cover up for it in the Rapid Fire. We came a close second with 80 points after Abhi and Bharat with 85, and this means that come 26th September, we will head to SDM Medical College, Dharwad for the Pathology Quiz. About the quiz, we need to study a LOTLOTLOT more than what we’re doing right now but Time is just not with us these days given that there is barely time to breathe in the midst of classes, postings, labs studies, records, assignments and yes, some time to unwind with friends..

As for the CSF analysis, we were a group of 5 and there was some or the contribution from 80% of us. 

(Not many people actually caught this bit. :P )

Technical Support:
Script: Karthik BV and Pawan
Videography: Harshit Krishna and Rajesh KH
Narrator: Jayashree Rao

I spoke about the indications for analyzing CerebroSpinal Fluid, the procedure and instruments used in Lumbar Puncture, the physical and biochemical analysis of CSF to differentiate between various etiologies of meningitis, CSF rhinorrhea and some other pointers that must be remembered while examining CSF (eg: one must analyze the sample within an hour of collection, one must not refrigerate the sample and so on.. ) Unfortunately for him, V Sir had to leave the middle of it but luckily for me it came an end without any major hiccup (or cough, literally speaking!)

Recently watched Phantom with friends and we followed this up with dinner at Anmol where we discussed the most controversial topics over the meal but it was an interesting evening on the whole. Off late, I haven’t been too choosy about the movies I’ve watched but we generally have a good time as we go as a group and have fun. Phantom made for a mildly interesting watch although it seems to be too fast paced with minimal room for interpersonal interaction. 

My current soundtrack includes:

• Gulabi (A slightly old song, from Shuddh Desi Romance but I’ve developed a fondness for it recently. The MTV unplugged version has a vibrant twinge to it so that’s better than the original in my opinion)
• Saware (by Arijit Singh, from Phantom)
• Chal Wahaan Jathe Hai (Arijit Singh)
• Tu Hi Re (an old song sung by Hariharan and Chitra)
• E Sanje and Dennana Dennana (Flute version) from the movie Rangitaranga

Often, I wonder how is it that some can let go and adapt so instantaneously while others take longer and some take forever. Is it all so ephemeral and fake? Is that what life really is about? Moving from one character to another from time to time? It comes down to this: There are some who attach much meaning to their relations with others, relationships, events, places and everything adds on to their memories. You could say they value every little thing in life, from a broken gift from a now distanced friend which they will refuse to throw away to every person whom they befriend /get acquainted with. And there are others who also have the same friendships, relations and so on, except that they do not attach meaning to everything in life. In such instances, it is easier to walk in and out of situations because there is a lot less baggage and bother. They are also less affected by changes, sudden shift of circumstances and any oscillations. Often, I wonder, which is the path to tread? In this fast paced world, it may seem appropriate to choose the second path because the first path is a classic case of thinking from the heart and not from the brain (although being a medical student, I must refrain from using such unscientific terms) and often only leads to disappointment. But the second one seems too mechanical and business-like to me. It might be the smarter decision but it may not be the one that makes me happy. It takes the innocence out of life if we can be so dissociated from what we feel and what we do. It might make me seem like a fool, but more often than not, I end up in the first case.

Coming to other matters of note, it appears that there will be no definitive changes in my boarding and lodging beginning in the near future. There has been a lot of confusion over this recently and I am mentally fatigued by thinking about the possible outcomes. I realized that I must be flexible to change, to adapt and evolve as the circumstances expect me to. I realize that happiness is every person’s birthright and I cannot covet that of another by my stubbornness. When you’re number is up, they’ll find you. I’m trying hard not to think too much or too far ahead or assume too much but just hope for the best and take it as it comes. It might seem irrational, unnecessary and daunting but it might bring the change that we are looking for. If I don’t believe that it will be possible, who else will?  Yet again, being reminded that there is an eerie resemblance to such events that occurred in the past, this whole concept appears daunting. There is a lot at stake and there is the fear of being left in the lurch but if I realize that I must let go of the cloud of negativity hovering above me and prepare to face the challenges as they come. After all, people take turns in a battle. One must enter the warzone when his compatriot is wounded.

It appears that I have blabbered endlessly and bored you all, yet I am filled with contentment. Nothing clears my head like a nice long blog post! :D

Confabulations.

There are dreams every night,

Those that promise to be windows to another world,

Dreams where everything is right,

Only that they never return.

There are daydreams that come and go,

With a glimmer of hope but nothing more.

Was it real? I'd never know,

Lost ships without a shore.

And then there is you; as real as ever,

You are no delusion for I've never felt more alive,

Yet I wish you were an illusion,

Because you're the best dream that was never mine. 

Weird, Wild and Wonderful.

It's 1.45AM as I begin this post but this post JUST cannot wait. So I was right here, plonked on my bed, scrimmaging through the web for the Patho assignment and typing out a reply to my Quora friend Preethi (who is incidentally also a blogger, a travel enthusiast and a Pro-Kannada activist :) ) and that's when it all began. An hour or so later, I got a call from an unknown number and it turned out to be Preethi. So there was a plan to ëxplore Bangalore" and she invited me be a part of it. Now, this isn't usually things are in my life. I rushed to get myself ready and presentable and then I realized I had to get Madre-Padre to get on the same page. I convinced Ma that I've known her for a long time and that I'll be absolutely safe (travelling to an unknown place to meet new people) and I set off! 

Unsure of the bus route to Yeshwantpur, I called up a few local dosts and got a fair idea. I hopped on to the bus to Nayandahalli, then took and auto upto Nandini Layout (initially I thought I'd take the auto to Gorguntepalya but I realized that would cost a bomb) and then literally ran and caught a slightly moving bus to Yeshwantpur bus stand. I got a Day Pass done which basically meant that I could travel in any BMTC bus without paying anything more. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I met Preethi and for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like I was meeting a stranger because we've been reading quite a bit of each other's writing. Soon, Apeksha (Preethi's school friend a.k.a Kappe :P ), Preethi and I were on our way to Orion and the chattering session began. We exchanged campus stories, complained about the crowd in our colleges, ranted about the messed up system, raved about Quora, built castles in the air w.r.t. future travel plans and meetups and basically spoke about everything under the sun. We wandered around for a while in Orion, lounged around in Landmark, walked cluelessly to a random bus stop and then realized that we needed to walk back to Yeshwantpur bus stand to travel to our next destination. We trudged back to the bus stand but the Prodigal bus eluded us for a long time. Finally we got into a bus that got us fairly close to New BEL Road. We walked along the IISc campus on a broad road shaded by a green canopy discussing the not-so-rosy life of Engineering students and clearing many myths and misconceptions. Famished,(well, not completely!) we crashed into Pizza Hut and had just placed our orders when Subbu a.k.a Subramanya (Apeksha's friend from MSR) joined us. We hogged, chatted and time seemed to fly! The best part is how we all had an amazing time despite having met for the first time. *FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED*

Post lunch, Subbu said he would take us to an interesting place about 2km from MSR and since we were all fed and watered, we felt upto the long walk. En route we spotted a Astrologer's place and weirdos that we are, we did the most amazing thing!! P and A walked in with a complaint that they had feelings for no Y chromosomes but each other. I was P's sister and S was A's brother. It was a tough moment for us as we tried to stifle our laughter and come up with fake names, DOBs, time and location of birth and nakshatra. The astrologer being a hi-tech dude, whipped out his iPhone and keyed in the details and calculated something and peered into his MacBook for some astrological insignia. Several cowrie shells later, he declared that the "problem" was very bad and because of a common enemy known to both of them and plotting for their downfall. he claimed to have "solved" several such cases in the past and offered to identify the person causing the problem and rid them of their problem for a sum of 4.5k. We mumbled a plausible reply, paid him the consultation fee and stumbled out laughing at our antics! One of the strangest things I've been a part of and I loved the spontaneity of it. :D

We walked along through unknown lanes, through cow-trodden paths and wide roads lined by mansions, apartments and trees talking about a great many things like we were long lost siblings (*Kumbh mela me bichde hue behen*). Discussions ranged from Quora personalities, engineering, medicine, singing paeans about our beloved Bengalooru, Marathi descendants in Tamil Nadu, qualitative comparison of animal poops, Apeksha's love for animals and imaginary plans on trying joints while I watch the fun! xD 

Preethi, Apeksha, Subbu and Me :)

We spared Subbu the ignominy of making fools of ourselves in his locality and then he led us through a tiny gate in the compound wall and.. voila! we were in the midst of greenery right in the heart of Bangalore. We walked along the path inside the GKVK campus and Subbu led us to an uspoilt rocky terrain with mini swamps and cacti. After this we realized that since 3/4 of us had to travel to opposite ends of Bangalore, it would be prudent to begin our journey backwards. This is when rain added to the celebration and we were all drenched in a span of minutes. Nevertheless, we raced the nearby shelter and watched Preethi soak in the rain. Afterthis we walked upto the Hebbal bus stand and we said our (temporary!!) goodbyes and parted ways. Preethi and I took a bus to Nagarbhavi while Apeksha traveled towards CV Raman Nagar and Subbu went back to Sanjaynagar. Preethi being the perfect host (but I can take care of myself!!) insisted on accompanying me until I found the best way to travel towards BSK. Finally, I took an auto upto 2nd stage while she took another bus towards Nagarbhavi BDA and then reached home via gaadi. After this, I had a lot more walking (in the rain) to do and my legs feel like logs but it certainly doesn't matter in the least!

At the Rocky Place, GKVK Campus

This meetup will remain in my mind for a long, long time to come because nothing about was planned, there were no expectations and yet I've come back with a treasure trove of memories and friends I really want to meet again at the earliest opportunity. :) Traveling by myself made me realize that it's important to ask when you're not sure. Ask if you are unsure of the route, of the stop you need to alight at, of anything for that matter! Once you get around to asking people when you have a question, you'll realize that most people are willing to help you around. That's the best part. Getting to know like minded people gives me the confidence to stay weird despite everything that forces me to join the bandwagon. Meeting new people is the best way to broaden your horizons, come out of a cloistered shell, exchange thoughts with like minded individuals and understand how others cope with similar issues. Sometimes all we need is the hope that we're all in the same boat and that one day we'll reach the harbor. :)

)

Prettiness by the pavement. :)

That's all for now folks! Toodles. :)

Remembrance.

Eventually I shall not matter to you,
Just as you shall cease to exist to me.
You know that just as well as I do.
What matters is which shall precede;
Will you make me a stranger?
Or will I walk away as a lone ranger?

Today we remember the tiniest details in our story,
Some day, you maybe just another faded memory.
Today we laugh over the little things,
Some day, another shall wipe the tears of bigger things.

If I were to look back then,
I'd be glad to have let it happen
Just as much to have let it go,
After all, it gave me greater joy than sorrow.

Decoded.

Like the sea that sparkles the sunlight,
Like the stars that twinkle in the moonlight,
You were so perfect and complete.
Until I got to know you, how I wish I didn't!

The sea has its storms and terrifying gales,
They're better seen from a distance.
How I wish I knew then what I know now,
That you were best kept at a distance.

I know everything about you,
Everything that was once a sweet little mystery.
You were a puzzle waiting to be uncoded,
Until I figured you out, how I wish I hadn't!

Like the road who's destiny was unknown
I travelled in your path looking and seeking,
I hoped for an endless journey with meaning,
But I reached the end far sooner than that.

Like the crossword that I've cracked,
Like the last week's newspaper,
Like the riddle that I've solved,
I know everything about you and how I wish I didn't!

Anaesthetized.

Sunny skies and breezy clouds may pass by

Moonlit starry nights may come and go

No longer do they mean the things they used to;

Numbness is all I can sense.

People move in and out of life;

Yet little does it matter anymore.
Because it's all an ephemeral mirage

And the lonely desert haunts no more.

Memories are all that remain in me,

Some embellished and fabricated, some hazy and unclear

And yet, I cling on to them not with hope;

But because they are all I have.

Perhaps imagination has given wings

To dreams that shall die unfulfilled

Perhaps they are all I shall ever have.

Or maybe they may arise and fly high and true

Like the phoenix from the midst of ashes.

But until that glorious moment arrives;

Under the scorching heat, remain resilient.

Being Numb.

You know there's trouble brewing when you don't feel anything anymore. It's a feeling of neutrality towards everything and you don't feel any intensity in the emotions, be it positive or negative. It's not like this hasn't happened before but it's just emptiness and vacuum that you feel most of the time so it's a little worrying.

The wind tickled her hair, the Sun shone on her face,

The eyes spoke volumes and the smile made hearts race.

His words were far and few but deep and true.

His dreams were hers, together they intended to pursue.

Sun-kissed days and starry nights sailed by,

Blissful indulgence made Time seem to fly.

Their idyllic paradise seemed complete and perfect,

No harm in the world could ever have an effect.

Alas! Fate, they say is a fickle mistress,

Out of the blue came a sudden distress.

She was ravaged and torn by the illness,

Without her charm he was forever listless. 

Her pain he could not take away,

Without her lilt in her voice and sparkle in her eyes

He couldn't keep the demons at bay,

And together they departed for a place beyond the blue skies.

Etched in their hearts were not the days of suffering and sorrow,

But the happiness of the memories they shared,

Their hopes for a better tomorrow

And the contentment of having found someone who cared.

Maybe I'm inherently flawed to find imperfections in everything. Maybe I need to appreciate the fact that people and things can be beautiful without being perfect. I've realized that I tend to distance people for the simple reason that they are getting close. I withdraw into a shell or regret everything that (n)ever happened. I find flaws and teach myself to backtrack because I tend to look for perfection. Maybe such a thing does not exist. We're all flawed and imperfect and maybe I need to come to terms with it. Maybe I tend to expect too much while giving too little. Maybe I live in a castle made of false hopes and imaginations. Maybe it's just exists in Utopia. Maybe my castle will crumble to dust when it is attacked by Reality. Maybe it's just me being myself. -_-

The past days have been eventful to say the least. 

• Last Sunday we watched FF7 (Ironically, the last of the series is the first one I've seen) and after this we all had lunch at Mathura (Adi and Rakesh's treat) so it was nice day. :)
• DeMedCon poster on Tuberculosis of Navicular bone accepted! This means I have a LOT of reading to do.
• Community medicine postings are no longer boring because we need to do seminars and then we get to go on field visits! 

Our first field visit was to an Aanganwadi where we spent a lot of time with the kids. The kids were happy to see us and sang and danced for us with excitement. These children don't have the facilities that their urban counterparts have but their Happiness Index is considerably higher because they are happy in what they have. How different their childhood seemed from our own upbringing, yet how much they seemed to have learnt about life than us.. 

Cutiee Pieeee Darshan <3

Group photo and everything B)

As a twenty year old Bangalorean (living in Shimoga), from all my travels be it to Shimla, Kashmir or around South India, I often feel our perception of our country is of the metros, cities, towns, hillstations, beaches and so on.. Yet, that is far from the truth. The true essence of our country is not in the metros, the malls, the skyscrapers, airports and 7 star hotels but in the hinterlands you see when you stray off the highway and wander through the fields and villages. Cities are just the tip of the iceberg. India's growth is measured by the quality of education these children receive and by the facilities in these villages, not just the more privileged ones studying in swanky international schools and living in luxury villas. What we see outside is just an eyewash. Contrast the air-conditioned chambers, the glassy exteriors and plush driveways of any corporate set up to the panchayats and sub-center of any nearby village. Contrast the city kid who is driven to her English medium school (where speaking in Kannada invites a fine) by her driver while the kids of these villages walk/cycle to their Kannada medium school which is a modest little building be it monsoon or summer. Contrast the opportunities the city kid has (music/ dance/ sports/ abacus classes apart from coaching classes for board exams and competitive exams) to the opportunities of their rural counterparts. True, it's not as bleak as it sounds, but the disparity is evident and only increasing with time since more and more people are migrating to the urban areas in search of better livelihood. Now, this not only creates more pressure on the urban set up to provide for more than its capacity but it also leads to more neglect and indifference towards development of rural areas. If half the rural population were to migrate, then what would happen to agriculture? India is primarily an agricultural country. Indian economy subsists on agriculture and related fields. Thus, the key to development lies in the uplift of rural India. 

Community Medicine shows that there are innumerable programs that work from the grassroots level and cater to the rural areas slowly work their way up. The primary goals are Mother and Child Health (MCH), Primary Education and Nutrition. The aanganwadi system is mainly catering towards the mother and child welfare. Providing elementary pre-primary education and nutritious food are the main goals of this set-up.

Our second field trip was more of an outing since both the sub-centers we visited were closed and we couldn't meet the Health Worker as they'd been out on field visits. Nevertheless, we had a good time (throwing stones to get raw mangoes, borrowing the cycles of the school kids and (trying to) cycle, and walking through green fields and flowing streams. As we grow older, we begin to take delight in the little things. It's the memory of the simplest things that are often most precious to us. 

This looks like some sort of Government advertisement to promote schooling. :')

Clowning around has always come naturally to me, :D

Apart from this, life is progressing as insanely as always. This is how I would describe my current state. Do note that I tend to keep alternating between the two at irregular intervals. 

Toodles, dear friend. :)

The Ultimate Nightmare.

Here's to a day that's taught me many things.
Here's to day that made realize many things.
Here's to the friends who make you feel good about yourself, who fill you with inspiration, motivation and a solid dose of advice that makes you look at things in a different perspective.
Here's to the friends who want you to do well, who will lend a hand and make sure you avoid the pitfalls.
Here's to that rare set of friends who will be there for you no matter how far they are, who will have faith in you and who will believe in you in those times when you doubt yourself.
Here's to the friend who takes the time off and convinces you that you are no less than anybody else.
Here's my thank you to you. (Because I'm pretty sure you won't be seeing this. ;) )
Wish there were more such people!

Lately, it had occurred to me that I am probably not extremely competitive. I would describe myself as moderately competitive. No the cut-throat, obsessed kind. My driving factor has most often been the urge to do well and not the desire to be No.1. Yes, it might seem strange, but what I mean is, I do it out my interest, not out of the desire to beat X/Y/Z and get to the top. But I'd been pondering if this was the right attitude because when I see X/Y/Z, it is this competitive spirit that enables them to get to the top.

But the truth is, this is irrelevant. The goal has nothing to do with X/Y/Z. In medicine, the ultimate nightmare is having a patient in front of you and being unable to diagnose/treat them appropriately. Watching the patient suffer while you fumble and falter with your concepts is the most horrifying idea. It's THIS imagery that should prompt any medico to give their 100% and work towards excellence. Yes, it's important to know where you stand relatively because in today's world, you are judged based on how you're better than the one beside you. But that isn't the sole criterion. The most important factor is to keep the Ultimate Nightmare in mind and study so that you will not fail in alleviating the suffering of the patient.