Saturday, April 11, 2015

Being Numb.

You know there's trouble brewing when you don't feel anything anymore. It's a feeling of neutrality towards everything and you don't feel any intensity in the emotions, be it positive or negative. It's not like this hasn't happened before but it's just emptiness and vacuum that you feel most of the time so it's a little worrying.

The wind tickled her hair, the Sun shone on her face,
The eyes spoke volumes and the smile made hearts race.
His words were far and few but deep and true.
His dreams were hers, together they intended to pursue.

Sun-kissed days and starry nights sailed by,
Blissful indulgence made Time seem to fly.
Their idyllic paradise seemed complete and perfect,
No harm in the world could ever have an effect.

Alas! Fate, they say is a fickle mistress,
Out of the blue came a sudden distress.
She was ravaged and torn by the illness,
Without her charm he was forever listless. 

Her pain he could not take away,
Without her lilt in her voice and sparkle in her eyes
He couldn't keep the demons at bay,
And together they departed for a place beyond the blue skies.

Etched in their hearts were not the days of suffering and sorrow,
But the happiness of the memories they shared,
Their hopes for a better tomorrow
And the contentment of having found someone who cared.

Maybe I'm inherently flawed to find imperfections in everything. Maybe I need to appreciate the fact that people and things can be beautiful without being perfect. I've realized that I tend to distance people for the simple reason that they are getting close. I withdraw into a shell or regret everything that (n)ever happened. I find flaws and teach myself to backtrack because I tend to look for perfection. Maybe such a thing does not exist. We're all flawed and imperfect and maybe I need to come to terms with it. Maybe I tend to expect too much while giving too little. Maybe I live in a castle made of false hopes and imaginations. Maybe it's just exists in Utopia. Maybe my castle will crumble to dust when it is attacked by Reality. Maybe it's just me being myself. -_-

The past days have been eventful to say the least. 

  • Last Sunday we watched FF7 (Ironically, the last of the series is the first one I've seen) and after this we all had lunch at Mathura (Adi and Rakesh's treat) so it was nice day. :)
  • DeMedCon poster on Tuberculosis of Navicular bone accepted! This means I have a LOT of reading to do.
  • Community medicine postings are no longer boring because we need to do seminars and then we get to go on field visits! 
Our first field visit was to an Aanganwadi where we spent a lot of time with the kids. The kids were happy to see us and sang and danced for us with excitement. These children don't have the facilities that their urban counterparts have but their Happiness Index is considerably higher because they are happy in what they have. How different their childhood seemed from our own upbringing, yet how much they seemed to have learnt about life than us.. 

Cutiee Pieeee Darshan <3
Group photo and everything B)
As a twenty year old Bangalorean (living in Shimoga), from all my travels be it to Shimla, Kashmir or around South India, I often feel our perception of our country is of the metros, cities, towns, hillstations, beaches and so on.. Yet, that is far from the truth. The true essence of our country is not in the metros, the malls, the skyscrapers, airports and 7 star hotels but in the hinterlands you see when you stray off the highway and wander through the fields and villages. Cities are just the tip of the iceberg. India's growth is measured by the quality of education these children receive and by the facilities in these villages, not just the more privileged ones studying in swanky international schools and living in luxury villas. What we see outside is just an eyewash. Contrast the air-conditioned chambers, the glassy exteriors and plush driveways of any corporate set up to the panchayats and sub-center of any nearby village. Contrast the city kid who is driven to her English medium school (where speaking in Kannada invites a fine) by her driver while the kids of these villages walk/cycle to their Kannada medium school which is a modest little building be it monsoon or summer. Contrast the opportunities the city kid has (music/ dance/ sports/ abacus classes apart from coaching classes for board exams and competitive exams) to the opportunities of their rural counterparts. True, it's not as bleak as it sounds, but the disparity is evident and only increasing with time since more and more people are migrating to the urban areas in search of better livelihood. Now, this not only creates more pressure on the urban set up to provide for more than its capacity but it also leads to more neglect and indifference towards development of rural areas. If half the rural population were to migrate, then what would happen to agriculture? India is primarily an agricultural country. Indian economy subsists on agriculture and related fields. Thus, the key to development lies in the uplift of rural India. 

Community Medicine shows that there are innumerable programs that work from the grassroots level and cater to the rural areas slowly work their way up. The primary goals are Mother and Child Health (MCH), Primary Education and Nutrition. The aanganwadi system is mainly catering towards the mother and child welfare. Providing elementary pre-primary education and nutritious food are the main goals of this set-up.

Our second field trip was more of an outing since both the sub-centers we visited were closed and we couldn't meet the Health Worker as they'd been out on field visits. Nevertheless, we had a good time (throwing stones to get raw mangoes, borrowing the cycles of the school kids and (trying to) cycle, and walking through green fields and flowing streams. As we grow older, we begin to take delight in the little things. It's the memory of the simplest things that are often most precious to us. 

This looks like some sort of Government advertisement to promote schooling. :')
Clowning around has always come naturally to me, :D
Apart from this, life is progressing as insanely as always. This is how I would describe my current state. Do note that I tend to keep alternating between the two at irregular intervals. 

Toodles, dear friend. :)