When you no longer see what you once saw, you are filled with a mixture of wonderment and regret. Wonder for the complexity of the fluctuant brain and regret for lacking the visual acuity or rather, for the clouding of one's vision. Everything that you once chose to ignore is now all that you can see.
It does make me feel like a bad person but to lie through my teeth would be more hurtful. The last time I had this 'epiphany' was months after I left Deeksha..
Is it a trick of the mind? A weakness of will? A change of heart or dawning of consciousness?
When you develop the habit of pushing every discomforting thing 'under the carpet', you get a big mound of dust in your living room that can no longer be ignored.
When you have no answers for these questions and when you only have more questions for yourself, you know there has been an irrevocable change. This has also made me consider the role reversal and its only when you put yourself in another's shoes and walk a mile do you realize what you might have put someone through...
Do I have to have one good week and then a not so good week to set right the balance in the universe? Last week was a good one with some notemaking and the happy discovery of 2nd year Patho, Pharmac and Micro notes which actually make a lot more sense now, followed by surprise-ish visit by MaPaDi and we lit sparklers at Jewel Rock to celebrate our kind of Deepavali, two rounds of strawberry cheesecake with AbhiBP and later with FroggieTheFoolest and of course, the joy of new mail!
I don't know if its a seasonal blip or the negativity tumour that I'm seeding inside me but I've been in some kind of zone lately. And sometimes anything, from an unexpected friend's words of encouragement (Thanks to Dixi) to a few words by my Pingu to my unwavering source of support (Sanjj), I do know I am thankful for all the goodness of people around me. Help comes from unexpected quarters, at the least expected moment and makes an impact.
So we watched this movie, Secret Superstar and it was not bad but for some of the dramatic histrionics and saccarine sweet quality to the narrative culminating in a fairly predictable ending.
So I was talking to Di today and she tells me her favourite song is ALSO 'Nachde Phira' and we began to discuss our favourite songs (She finally has a new favorite song after Tu Jo Mila!)
No therapy like girl talk (ladies gossip?) with my Maa about everything under the Sun from which relative turned up at which wedding to what the neighbourhood auntie has been upto to everything else! :)
What's the best thing to do after a day of Preterm Labour, Breech Presentation, Post Partum Haemorrhage and some Abnormal Uterine Action with your mind in running its own commentary of doom in the background? That's right, scale up the notch and watch Ae Dil Hai Mushkil to test yourself. :))
Laugh at yourself a little more, don't hesitate to shed those tears and above all, remember, you are probably not alone. :)
Caffeinatedly yours,
J
It does make me feel like a bad person but to lie through my teeth would be more hurtful. The last time I had this 'epiphany' was months after I left Deeksha..
Is it a trick of the mind? A weakness of will? A change of heart or dawning of consciousness?
When you develop the habit of pushing every discomforting thing 'under the carpet', you get a big mound of dust in your living room that can no longer be ignored.
When you have no answers for these questions and when you only have more questions for yourself, you know there has been an irrevocable change. This has also made me consider the role reversal and its only when you put yourself in another's shoes and walk a mile do you realize what you might have put someone through...
Do I have to have one good week and then a not so good week to set right the balance in the universe? Last week was a good one with some notemaking and the happy discovery of 2nd year Patho, Pharmac and Micro notes which actually make a lot more sense now, followed by surprise-ish visit by MaPaDi and we lit sparklers at Jewel Rock to celebrate our kind of Deepavali, two rounds of strawberry cheesecake with AbhiBP and later with FroggieTheFoolest and of course, the joy of new mail!
I don't know if its a seasonal blip or the negativity tumour that I'm seeding inside me but I've been in some kind of zone lately. And sometimes anything, from an unexpected friend's words of encouragement (Thanks to Dixi) to a few words by my Pingu to my unwavering source of support (Sanjj), I do know I am thankful for all the goodness of people around me. Help comes from unexpected quarters, at the least expected moment and makes an impact.
So we watched this movie, Secret Superstar and it was not bad but for some of the dramatic histrionics and saccarine sweet quality to the narrative culminating in a fairly predictable ending.
So I was talking to Di today and she tells me her favourite song is ALSO 'Nachde Phira' and we began to discuss our favourite songs (She finally has a new favorite song after Tu Jo Mila!)
No therapy like girl talk (ladies gossip?) with my Maa about everything under the Sun from which relative turned up at which wedding to what the neighbourhood auntie has been upto to everything else! :)
What's the best thing to do after a day of Preterm Labour, Breech Presentation, Post Partum Haemorrhage and some Abnormal Uterine Action with your mind in running its own commentary of doom in the background? That's right, scale up the notch and watch Ae Dil Hai Mushkil to test yourself. :))
Laugh at yourself a little more, don't hesitate to shed those tears and above all, remember, you are probably not alone. :)
Caffeinatedly yours,
J
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