Monday, October 28, 2013

Where To Begin?!

As usual, I get my hands on the Laptop and I'm lost on FB or Gmail or a news portal. And a new entrant to the list is scouring for the latest songs. (No radio -_-)

My apologies for the last post which was anything but complete and basically very atypical of me.

So I'm done with my exams and I'm in Bangalore for a few days. And my calender is already lined up with appointments with people I need to meet! Excited to meet Vidha3, Manasa tomorrow and I'm taking part in a quiz at BMC on Tuesday with Rajath :D (Although my GK has plummeted to rock bottom levels)

Di has grown (intellectually and physically) and I'm super glad to spend some time with her. Only, I sometimes wonder if it's me she wants or my Tab. Lol.

The thing is, the Jain Hostel was anything but 'True Hostel Life', the food was great, I had my own room, I had my privacy and I had no reason to complain! So my point is, it wasn't like living in a hostel, in the true sense. I didn't socialize much (a conscious decision, that) and Pa kept visiting me very often :)

The sad thing is I've packed more books than clothes in my suitcase. -_- Ok, not sad in that sense, but I've left all the good clothes in the dusty cupboard back in Shimoga.

So these hols are a true blessing for me to re-look at the way my life's heading, the way I am and the road ahead.
College is very much hectic and the annoying/sad/depressing/frustrating thing is that I'm not relaxing in the 'right' way.

Right includes:

  • Baddie! 
  • Novels
  • Singing
  • Blogging
Right does not include:
  • Lazing on Whatsapp
  • Blinking at FB
So I've got to do something about that, because we have SO damn much to do, that I'll burnout by the time the actual exams approach (which is nearly always the Story of my Life.)

Adaptation is a key to survival, I know. "Survival of the Fittest" and all that jazz, sure. But what about Individuality? Why should I change who I am in order to 'belong'? True, I can either adapt or else live in solitude. This isn't a serious issue currently unless and I sit and ponder about it.

On a serious note, my social life is a lot different from earlier and I'm not sure if this is what I want. Or if this is in my best interest, given my nature. True, I'm in a medical college and things change, (or so I've heard from my Engg friends who are having quite an active social life) but this isn't an active social life either!
I'm slightly confused and I can't wait to go and bleat all my issues to Pinki. (Babi. xD) But it's about time I sort it out myself and listen to that Inner voice (however faint it maybe) I tend to over-think, trust people blindly and then get hurt badly. And at every juncture I question myself if I'm doing the right thing (so much so, that it feels like OCD :P )
I'm not comfortable with a lot of things going on, but I haven't been assertive enough about it, I suppose.

*Listening to Yeh Ishq Hai* (Brings back memories of me singing this in class 7 on my Birthday. Lol)

Another thing that I've been occasionally wondering about is, we are all born without any blemish and essentially we are 'Pure Souls' and somewhere down the road, something changes right? Innocence is the attribute of a child and with age, it probably diminishes.
But maybe that's not what I mean, I'm wondering if I've become more self centered in the past few months.. (which is ironically another self centered thought! :P ) I can probably brush it off as a phase, given that I was in the 'Settling in' Phase for a while. But I think I was a bit (if not a lot) different in some aspects. 

So that's about it for now.. (Damn, I'm sleeping late again!)
Seeya soon. 

(Another thing I forgot to mention is that I love to see Comments when I blog. Sounds lame/dumb/stupid, I am aware, but after taking the time and effort (lol) to blog, it feels nice to occasionally hear someone say something, anything. *Hint Hint* JK. :) )