Thursday, May 14, 2015

Manufacturing Defect, Perhaps?

This is one of those times when I'm too overwhelmed to blog. Honestly don't have a clue where to begin. Let me get started with the usual update! :)

On Tuesday, I had Ophthalm OT and got to see 2 Small Incision Cataract Surgeries with 3 others. Ratnamma maám performed the surgeries and I must take this opportunity to talk about Ophthalmology postings.
Basically Ratnamma maám and Shamshad Begum maám are the two doctors in the department and there are the sisters who do the dilation and refraction testing of the patients. They take theory class for us for a while and then we take the case history of the patient. One of us (Today it was Mee! Yes, I did make a "patch" of myself but it was fun nonetheless. :) ) presents the case in front of them and they tell us where we've gone wrong (or in case of Begum maám where we've got it right, because everything appears wrong to her!) I'd missed the initial few classes so I didn't really have an idea what was going on thanks to all those complex sounding terms for every condition (Trichiasis [the eyelashes or cilia are misdirected] or Distichiasis [overgrowth of cilia]) and the specific method of History Taking. 

Ratnamma maám peformed the 2 surgeries in under 45 minutes and there was so much ease in the procedure {valvular sutureless incision} that it didn't seem like she is doing anything as complicated as making a frown incision, removing the cataractous lens, removing other fragments and then inserting the new lens (one of them via the sandwich method) and then closing up with the same clockwork precision and confidence. There was some music (old Rajkumar songs, Hindi songs) playing in the background while she explained the highlights of the procedure to us, the names of the instruments she was using and so on.. After the surgeries, we went back to the OPD and she joined us shortly and she sat down to see some more patients. The patients come here from far and near mainly because of her and they don't go back disappointed. She talks to the patients well, makes the comfortable, brings a smile on their face and sends them with the hope that they will soon see better. Yes, she does all of this at 62 years of age. Her knowledge is immense and she expects a lot from students since she puts in a lot of effort to share her knowledge. There's a lot to learn from this lady and we're indeed lucky to be her students. :)

So we'd been to Sana's sister's wedding reception in Arsikere. Adi booked an Innova and we (Abhi BP Nammu Likki Sandy Appy and Eeshna) started off after college. The journey was memorable and we sang songs for most part of the drive. We reached the venue, met Sana, wished the couple a happy married life, spent some time appreciating the arrangements and then proceeded to our favourite hobby: HOGGING!! After leaving the leaf literally clean and empty, we left from Arsikere and had a short stop at CCD (Choco Frappé) and then people slowly began to doze off.. The driver then insisted that we play some music lest he falls asleep so I sat there fighting sleep, changing songs and watching the passing scenery. We reached the college gates at 12.10AM (No questions asked) and tried to catch some sleep. All in all, an eventful day. :)

Abhi Me Nammu Sana Beepee Appy Sandy and Likki :D
Blurred but who cares? One for the memories :')
Now here's for the latest songs that I find myself addicted to:
  • Find you, I won't let you go and Fight for you (from Divergent)
  • Beating Heart (by Ellie Goulding)
  • Shut Up and Dance (Contagiously Happy song! :D )
  • Santa Barbara (Nick Jonas)
  • All about you (Hilary Duff)
  • Hero (from the movie Boyhood)
  • See You Again (from Fast and Furious 7)
  • Judaai (from the movie Badlapur)
  • Jiya Lage Na (from the movie Talaash)
  • Maaeri (this is a song I'd hear many years ago. It's from the album Euphoria)
  • Teri Meri Kahaani (Title track of the movie)
  • Hamaari Adhuri Kahaani (Title track of the movie)
  • Looking for Love: Main Dhoodne (Arijit Singh)
^Whew, that seems like a long list! But these songs have got me hooked on to my earphones and helps me shut away from all the noise and chatter of the world. :P :D

And as for other matters, it shouldn't matter and yet it does. To save ourselves from unnecessary persecution and over-thinking, we tell ourselves that the things boring a hole in our brains don't really matter to us. But after a point, this too fails to act as a placebo to the pain gnawing through insidiously.

A few days ago, Nammu and I were blabbering as usual and she asked me if I was still the person I was two years ago. The immediate answer was yes, superficially I'm still the same person. But on further pondering (and some amount of overpondering) I felt that some things have changed. To give a stupid analogy just like the lens that accommodates itself for near and far vision because of the ciliary muscle contraction, we tend to adapt ourselves for the extremes of personalities that we deal with in our day to day lives. After 40, the eye loses its power of accommodation and we commonly develop Presbyopia (what is colloquially known as Chaalis) because the lens can no longer accommodate. At some point we stop this charade of to and fro alteration of ourselves to get along with others. After some point, we remain constant irrespective of the kind of people we come across. It's that point which I hope to reach; when it'll no longer matter how people behave with you, you remain as an oasis of calm. That point can be attained when we are confident of who we are, when we no longer look for validation from others, when we are happy showing who we truly are to others and not care about the outcome. 

All this soul-searching brings me to the question of a possible manufacturing defect. It is wrong to expect without giving, it is wrong to ask for acceptance when you remain closeted yourself. It is unfair to ask for anything when you give nothing. Thus, The Fault Lies Within.