Thursday, August 21, 2014

Reality Bites.

Cleaning can be therapeutic, as I discovered recently. A few days ago, I took upon the mammoth task of cleaning the garbage heap called my room. For the past month, I had been conveniently ignoring the trash that has piled up over the past year but I couldn't do so any longer. It's about time I do something productive.

So I began sorting out the stuff and that can be an absolutely headache because I always tend to ponder whether to Keep It or Trash It (More often than not, I end up keeping anything that has memories associated with it). 

So several ancient relics popped up as I was rummaging through my cupboard, some that made me smile, some that brought a tinge of sorrow, but hey, they all made me happy once upon a time. :)

So this was when Amma and I went on that 'Medical Colleges Tour' in Karnataka. We saw a lot of colleges and I gained an insight about what an actual medical college would seem like (something that is yet to develop at Subbaiah, truth be told). Appa had appointed me as Finance Incharge and I made a neat account of all the expenses. I wrote this when he said that there are some discrepancies in the amount given and amount spent..

The TCS 10K Run. Lately, I've been training on the treadmill but I'm exhausted by 3K. I'm frankly surprised how I managed to practice and come upto 10K!

I found the 'Stories Book' that I had started in 1st PUC. Back then, I used to squeeze in some time to write a short story or an occasional poem. Plus, the SAT preparation had enriched my vocabulary and it gave the necessary impetus to write more. After a while, I only wrote the plot outlines (In the hope that I would find time later to pen down the actual story.)

Trust me, seeing these books makes me want to read it all once again. Did I really make good use of it?

HMUN 2012. New friends from across the globe, a train journey with goofy idiots and a whole new world. The struggle to get my parents to agree, I wouldn't like to do that again. But everything about that trip is etched in my mind, It was truly incredible. I miss the penguins. 

HAHA! How unforgettable are those formulae really? Physics and I had a rocky relationship.

Oh well! :) Writing the SAT, Searching for colleges on the CollegeBoard website, Applying to colleges, zeroing in on the right colleges, running around for recommendations, filling up the CommonApp, filling up the CSS Profile for financial aid, mailing the college correspondents with a volley of doubts, the joy of a FedEX Mail, the thrill of acceptances, the music scholarship (what a fail!) and everything else. <3

And finally, I packed everything into boxes and my room is now a lot more cleaner and habitable. :)

On Tuesday night, Pa and I boarded the night bus to Mantralaya (near Raichur). The visit was pending for more than a year. After a night of disturbed sleep and trudging through untarred roads, we reached by 6AM. After quickly refreshing, we went to the temple and finished what was to be done. Post this, I was limping (I still am, mind you. I don't know how the hell I'm going to swim when I can barely bend my knee) but we took a shared auto and had a bumpy ride to Panchamukhi. After lunch, we got into the bus heading towards Bangalore. The sweltering heat left me grouchy and exhausted but our Mission was accomplished. I read a novel for a while and then Pa and I were chatting. We reached home at 11PM, Had dinner and I hobbled into bed.

“The two slight youthful figures soon grew indistinct on the distant road - were soon lost behind the projecting hedgerow.
They had gone forth together into their new life of sorrow, and they would never more see the sunshine undimmed by remembered cares. They had entered the thorny wilderness, and the golden gates of their childhood had for ever closed behind them."
Mill On The Floss- George Elliot

Sometimes, the Future is worrying. I probably live ensconced in a cocoon. In reality, the Future is bleak and uncertain. As a child and as a starry eyed teenager, we all have 'dreams' that we want to realize. We aspire for big things, we live in a Utopic setup where we assume that dreams can come true. But in reality, responsibilities exist. 

It's all probably my fault for being a dreamer, an incurable optimist and my failure to see things as they are. I've probably been looking at things with rose-tinted glasses and hence assumed that there are good times ahead. It's painful to let your dreams slip through your fingers and watch them perish but when Responsibility knocks at your door you can't exactly refuse to open the door, can you?

When we're young, we're carefree and imagine that everything is possible. It's possible to rise to greater heights, achieve your goals and live 'Happily ever after', we think. But the thought that we might never really take off, let alone fly and reach the stars, the thought that we might become just another ordinary person with a mundane existence can be crippling.

And it leaves you confused: Do you fight it? Or do you accept the Fate?