Spontaneity Is The Best.

Before I blog about everything else, I MUST  tell you about the events of yesterday in which I'm still absorbed because it was the most unexpected thing that happened in a long time.

So we had our MicroB test yesterday (Immune response) and my plans for visiting McGann Hospital once again went for a toss so there I was sitting in the room with a not so definite plan of doing some Across MCQs and completing my records while watching my roommate pick her wardrobe for a shaadi when out of the blue Nammu ma'am, Anu and their friend decide that I'm going to join them. With no more details than "Get ready and come in 2 minutes" I had no clue where we were heading.

When I got to the gate, I realized it was Gaadi Scenes!! It had been over 6 weeks since I had any ride on a gaadi so I was plenty excited and thrilled despite the initial trepidation that I would feel like a fish out of water. Nevertheless, we made our way to Gopalagowda extension and then headed towards Gajanur Dam.

Blue skies and glimmering waters.

Nammu ma'am being an awesome rider made the journey exciting by making me try a few stunts. The best feeling is of the wind rushing against your face, the scenic beauty whizzing by, the sheer speed of the vehicle leaving you teary-eyed, a beautifully empty road that never seems to end and company that you enjoy! We reached there in no time and the view was beautiful. Although we weren't allowed to go much further, the calm and placid waters was a treat to the eyes. After this we continued further on a road that was mostly deserted and offered a beautiful view of the reservoir.. After Sakrebailuru and View point we made our way back to the city and I finally got my hands on the gaadi (It wasn't hard at all, despite the difference in CC with respect to my Scooty Pep+)

Happiness lies in venturing out to explore. :)

After some customary hogging at Cafe Chillax (for the second time in a week) and samosas it was time to head back to college. The skies had darkened, the stars were twinkling and Shimoga traffic is known for it's waywardness, but we rode back to college anyway. I was so glad that I could do it without any hitch! There's a small stretch on NH17 just before the college which has a bend and overlooks the Purle Lake (which is now filled with overgrown and untamed weeds) which has no street lights. Speeding through this stretch in the darkness with the lights of "Subbaiah Palace" glimmering in the distance is a moment to be cherished. :D

Anu, Nammu ma'am and Me :)

The happiest bit is that I sent the pictures to MaPa and (surprisingly, shockingly, astonishingly, thankfully) they did not reprimand me but were quite happy that I had a good time and a safe journey.

Shades are the hottest thing that happened to Mankind. :P

Spontaneity is the best possible phenomenon. Always make room for the unknown, always embrace that which is unexpected because good things are very often surprise packages! 

All thanks to Nammu ma'am, the roomie who turned around a sleepy Saturday into someting so memorable. :D 

Adios, folks. :)

Let It Go.

There's so much I'll have to blog about but there's no way I can do it. I'll have to do it in installments or just present the highlights (In bullet points, my eternal favourite.)

So here's what's happened since my last post:

• Bhopiee called me. (The very same day I posted my last blogpost which was a tad depressed to say the least.) It made me immensely happy and I love how she totally understood my predicament and offered some genuine advice to stay sane inspite of all the turmoil.
• Maidha called me. (After reading my previous post. It is noteworthy and ought to be mentioned because Sheepie calling up is a rarity that must be applauded. :P )
• We've had two Microbiology tests and a Pharmacology test.
• We attended a wedding in Shimoga and hogged on some banana leaf dinner after what seemed like forever. Yet another spontaneous event, we got all dressed up, blessed the couple and had some good food and returned fashionably late to the hostel.

  

  All set to attend the wedding :)

  

  Selfie in the Wedding.

• We celebrated Kannada Rajyothsava in college (where Pranesh, a humorous Kannada speaker and the Dollu Kunitha troupe provided entertainment.) So the entire event was Kannada themed and some of the performances were really good. 

Naada Geethe singing in progress.

• Random things tend to be a lot of fun, as I've discovered lately. DO NOT LAUGH. -_-

Sliding down the stairs on a mattress. :P

• I got into trouble with the Patho HoD in his class (inspite of showing him that I'd made notes of what he'd been teaching and he has decided to commit my face to his memory so that I get to make a fool of myself repeatedly. I'm just hoping that he won't remember me in his class in the coming week.
• Surgery postings are over and now we're having General Medicine postings. The initial few classes were taken by Dr. Mahendrappa who is from SIMS Govt. college. His classes are like a treasure trove of knowledge thanks to his immense experience at the reputed government hospital in the city. Several diseases are endemic to certain regions such as Kyasanur Forest disease which is prevalent in this region of fluorosis which is more common in Mundargi or Leprosy which is of higher incidence in Mysore. The way in which he describes anecdotes and cases that he has seen during his service in SIMS makes me wish I was also a part of such a 'real' medical college, brimming with patients, where you acquire soft skills and your experiences are more vast. (My desire to see McGann was partly fuelled by his classes). Apart from him there's also Dr.Shekharappa from SIMS who is also extremely good and doesn't divert much from the topic assigned (which is something I don't mind though. :P )
• Vaibhav Sir has been giving pearls of wisdom (laced and decorated with exceeding wit and sarcasm). It's amazing how some people are so knowledgeable about everything under the sun! It's not just about the field of study you are engaged in but also about everything else. His words are most often caustic yet we (OK, FINE, Maybe just Abhi and I) end up grinning like idiots over every statement that's even remotely witty). The making of a doctor is a long, arduous one and that requires sacrifices, tremendous will power and dedication. Somewhere, I guess we're nowhere near that. There's still miles and miles to go before we're even close to getting on the path towards being that person. To be "Somebody" in the medical field is not an overnight phenomenon. It happens after several years of patience, perseverance and practice. It's something that can be lost overnight, though.
• I've been eating out lately and hogging to gargantuan extents. Morning jogging and baddie sessions have temporarily ceased and must be resumed at the earliest. Hogged twice this week. Tuesday was at Cafe Chillax, Thursday with Adi at Mathura Central and Saturday again at CC.
• Amazon delivered to Shimoga. :) 

1. Ganong's Review of Medical Physiology
2. Basic and Clinical Pharmacology by Katzung
3. Phantoms in the Brain by VS Ramachandran
4. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

• And today, We'd been to Gajanur Dam and Sakrebailuru on gaadis. (Separate post about this up next! :D )
• Will finally be heading home next week (after nearly 6 weeks. The longest I've stayed on this campus) but it'll be for just a few days. Cannot WAIT to see MaPaDi and play with my hyper Bheemi.
• Oh yes. How could I forget? I'm possibly the BIGGEST Loser in the world. -_- I just don't get it! I have the horrrible, terrible, annoying, frustrating and depressing habit (Oh yes, this was the third time. :( ) of losing money. It just disappears randomly and no amount of searching, scavenging and excavation yields any positive result. I mourned over my loss for a day, carried out a massive search program in my room and the room I frequent most (Hula's room) and yet there was no hope. The worst part is there is no answer to what happened to it. :/
• 2014 is in its last leg and it actually seems like yesterday that I'd slept off on New Year's Eve after an evening out with MaPaDiMe, Atthe, Mama, Nidhi, Ajji, Poornima Aunty and family at Pai Viceroy.. So much has happened in this year. So many events, so many memories, so many experiences, so much to learn from... 

Oh yes, I could blog further about many more things that have been happening in my not so ordinary life but then Sundays are so rare they can't just be spent on the laptop. 

Off to Camp Laibu! :D

Melancholic Reveries.

I know, I shouldn't resort to such frequent blogging but maybe I just need to vent and I've always issued the statutory warning that I tend to rant, ramble, crib, criticize and wallow in unregulated moodiness.

When the pain starts, it doesn't announce itself and knock at the doors of your heart. It doesn't seek your permission and be the polite guest, It doesn't bother with such niceties. It comes like the whirlwind that uproots houses from their firm foundations, it barges through your defenses when you're least expecting it to and pierces you with the intensity that leaves you grasping for breath. The pain saps you of all the thoughts you fill yourself up with in the hope of finding happiness. The pain manifests itself as your Achilles heel; as the memories that leave you in despair, at the events that refuse to fade away from your mind, as the little things that once made you mad with joy but now leave you tearful at the mere thought of them, as the gestures that brightened your day once upon a time, as the smallest things that once meant the world to you, as the nostalgia of what is lost forever, as the castles you'd built in the air that have now crumbled into nothingness, as the little bit of infinity you had hoped to have, as the reality what exists, the miracles that may never materialize and as the Happy Ending that is never meant to be.

What could be more painful than that? I'll tell you, it's the task of masking your pain with layers and layers of paint, gloss and glitter, to feel a happiness that is not yours, to feel the happiness of another person when all you feel is hollow and empty, to share that happiness that proceeds to drain you, leaving you like a withered plant. Is it so easy to watch as you give up on what could have been, what should have been and what might have been? Is it so easy to fake what you do not feel? But the one affected most is the one pretending to feel something they do not. It's toxic to nobody but themselves. It leaves you pondering as to who you really are, why is it that you choose to put up the facade when you can embrace what you really feel and voice your opinion. To watch the smile of another, you will often have to shed that silent tear. A silent, lonely tear that shall dry upon your cheek with not a soul to bother about its existence. You learn to watch and teach yourself to be happy for others, you tell yourself not to be selfish, you convince yourself that you shouldn't covet what isn't yours and you master the nuances of concealing your pain. 

Sometimes, it may help to pretend like it doesn't affect you. It is wishful thinking to imagine that the arrows aimed to stab you can make no injury, the barbs aimed at you leave no imprint, and to be honest, that probably works for a while. But suddenly, you can't take it anymore, it crashes upon you, wave upon wave, each with increasing intensity,each inducing the pain you had tried to ignore, until you realize you're drowning.

The worst thing about the pain is the memories. What can be more awful than the fact that the memories that you cherished once are now nightmares? Reminiscing about the moments that once enlivened your spirit now induces a dull aching sensation, worse still, is to confront the factors causing the pain with happiness and joy when all you feel is emptiness. 

You teach yourself to grow stronger, focus on bigger things and live life with more meaning. You tell yourself to steer clear of the thoughts that haunt you, you bury yourself in the things that make you happy, you decide to immerse yourself in the midst of people to forget what you really feel, you let music incite a numbness towards the pain, you adopt a cynical approach to ridicule the things that once mattered to you, you decide that your priorities are something else after all, you convince yourself that your responsibilities weigh heavily upon your shoulders and you shake yourself back into your senses... Until the next time the pain decides to visit you, that is.

Those days were idyllic and perfect,

The memories are pristine and well kept.

The past that was once flawed seems perfect,

As the nostalgia approaches, in the fond memories, I wept.

Every word, every phrase is etched in me,

But it hurts because you'll never bother to see.

Those days were the best but I realized too late,

But it hurts because to you, I was merely a bait.

I learn to smile despite the tears that threaten at the brim of my eyes,

But it hurts because you're deaf to the silent cries.

I decide bravely that it doesn't matter anymore,

But I realize it isn't the easiest chore,

To forget and move on,

To have hope and dream on.

But a day shall surely arrive,

When I shall succeed and strive.

And these memories will mean nothing

But an ugly scar in a beautiful movie called my life. 

Currently addicted to:

• The Heart Wants What It Wants: Selena Gomez (I don't like the fact that she cries in the beginning though)
• Welcome To New York: Taylor Swift

It's ABOUT time I start off on some caffeine. Coffee probably induces a sense of purpose in my system. Coffee makes my life more meaningful, definitive and productive. Or maybe I'm just mildly addicted to its stimulating effects.

A Pharmacology test is approaching and it's about time I stop reading about neuroleptics and their mode of action and the scary number of side effects they can cause and read what we might be questioned on, that is Pharmacodynamics and Pharmacokinetics. It's becoming alarmingly evident that I'll have to constantly keep revising the basics that we read in first year to gain a better grasp of what we're learning presently.

Adios, friends. I'll probably be back sooner than you'd like (If I can't resist the urge to blog, that is)

Okay? Okay.

I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend. 

Ah, yes. Finally. After several failed attempts, the celestial beings finally granted my wish of watching The Fault In Our Stars, several months after reading the movie. The movie was pretty good (as was the book) and touching at several junctures. But the hazard of watching the movie with anybody else (particularly someone prone to high lacrimal activity) is that your own lacrimal activity is stifled. Nevertheless, some of the quotes were truly thought provoking. 

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."

"You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you."

And so on. It's a movie that makes you think, ponder, contemplate and yet not make any groundbreaking discovery.

Apart from this I've also watched certain movies I don't take a lot of pride in naming (Ok, not what you think I think you're thinking. [Shush, that makes perfect sense.] But the sanest dialogue was probably this,
"You give me premature ventricular contractions. You make my heart skip a beat."

Sheesh. Seriously? And the thing that cracked me up is that she's a graduate from MIT who then makes it to medical school. (Or maybe I'm the one obsessed with stereotypes. -_-) Nevertheless, a mighty waste of talented star cast such as Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman.

Oh, and Abhi and I have begun the House MD Marathon. (Yeah, I've barely watched a few episodes and it's about time that I amend that.) I've also embarked on the mission to watch Sherlock. 

And if you're wondering how is it that I'm watching so many things, it's because I've finally got my Lappy! :D I'm extremely excited that I can finally blog more frequently and use it for reading up more about what we're learning.'

On the college front, Life is progressing fairly sunnily, lecturers have begun to turn up the tempo and there seems to be a quirky kind of equilibrium setting in. Not the most ideal, but certainly different, certainly a welcome change.

In Microbiology, we basically study all about the microorganisms, like bacteria, viruses, fungi, particularly the ones that are pathogenic in nature. So right now we're still in the basics where we're learning about Culture Media. Basically, bacteria need the appropriate medium to grow and exhibit their properties. One example is the MacConkey Agar medium which is used to differentiate Gram positive and negative bacteria based on their inability/ability to ferment lactose in the medium. Similarly, there are different media to distinguish between different species of bacteria and also to demonstrate a particular bacteria specifically.

And that made me wonder, aren't we also the same? We require the right environment, the right 'culture' to bring out the best in us. We interact differently with the people around us based on our surroundings and we are different under different circumstances. I agree, there's not much sense in what I'm rambling, but this just made me realize that we have a lot more in common with Bacteria than we care to recognize.

Another thought that struck me today in the middle of MicroB lab again is the serendipity of the Gram staining technique. To put in simple words, you take your slide containing the sample of the bacteria to be studied, apply a primary dye like crystal violet, follow it up with Iodine, acetone and then a secondary dye such as carbol fuschin. And this brings out two main categories of Bacteria, gram positive and gram negative, (named after Christian Gram, the man behind the procedure) which show several distinctive properties. My thought is rather random, but then, how did Mr. Gram know that those exact same substances, in the exact same order would yield a method to distinguish between bacteria, that would be employed even 100 years later? The funniest thing is, there apparently no strong explanation for this differential staining technique. My point is, if I took a bacterial sample X and added substance A, B and C and then add the same substances on sample Y, definitely, there would be a difference in the reactions. It's like he worked out the reason for the difference in staining after the experiment and not the other way round. A scientific method is one in which you test a hypothesis by conducting an experiment to prove your point. To me, this looks like a case of the other way round.

It's either that, or I'm turning loonier with each passing day.

 One thing I'm extremely glad about is the fact that I've been exercising regularly. My morning begins with a good round of jogging (through chilly mist) and is followed by a tiring game of baddie. I only hope that this trend is not just a fad but persists longer. After all, it's important to stay fit, considering the high calorie diet we ingest in the mess everyday.

Speaking of food, the other day, we had our own meal which consisted of:

• Sweet Corn Veg Soup
• Salad (with sprouts, pomogranate, corn, carrots, cucumber, lemon, chillies, onion, Kurkure and some seasonings to lend it a tangy flavour)
• Sandwiches
• Aloo Patties
• Kheer

Om Nom Nom. :D

Cooking together was a lot of fun and it is highly likely that such an event will recur at regular intervals.

As always, there's so much more that I want to go on about, I want to finish my story, I want to write a poem, I want to buy a few things online, I want to be blessed with amazing metabolism, I want 30 hours in a day to study first year portions so that I don't keep feeling guilty for having passed first year.... But then

The world is not a wish granting factory....

:)

Living in Synergism.

Why is it that I have innumerable blog-worthy things buzzing around in my head half the time but they all dissipate when I actually sit down and go about it? -_-

There is SO Much going on that I feel comfortably numb regarding most of the things. It's like I don't get to dwell on anything for too long, even if I want to because there's something else equally important that comes to the forefront. Maybe this IS a good thing, but I'm used to lot more introspection than I'm getting to do at the moment.

There are times when you decide set aside everything you feel, bottle them up and fling it away into a Black Hole. It may hurt, it may seem irrational, but at the end of the day it'll make you a stronger person. It isn't the easiest thing; to let go of the things you cling on to, of the things you covet, of the hopes that lie buried deep within you (be it any seemingly unconquerable ambition to any trivial matter) but when you do; your burden gets tremendously lighter. Maybe, it all happens for a reason, maybe as Vaibhav Sir eloquently phrased it, "There is a method in the madness." At the end of the day, it's all about how much importance I decide to give to anything in my life. Of course, it's all easier said than done. Practically speaking, compartmentalizing my thoughts isn't child's play. I ponder, I think, I overthink and yet there seems to be no finality, no answer to the questions.

Like I've mentioned before (although in an entirely different context), it's amazing how malleable our minds are. We (or maybe it's just me) change our perception of people continually and after a while, you realize you have nothing in common anymore. You try to wriggle out of the den you've created around yourself but that isn't easy either. I guess I'm constantly evolving (hopefully for the better) and in each stage, there are different people who will walk in and walk out. Some have remained through several stages, some shall remain forever. The hard part is when you realize they no longer play a part in your life anymore. (An inappropriate example would be the snake shedding its skin at regular intervals) to metamorphose into something new.

At the end of the day, the "I told you so" feeling has been growing stronger than ever. What seemed like a harsh proclamation many months ago now seems like the inevitable truth. Some truths are meant to be bitter, some lessons are learnt the hard way and some mistakes can't be undone. But then again, we are defined by our positives as well as our negatives, our good and bad, our triumphs and mistakes constitute who we are, it makes us what we are...

Non Competitive Equilibrium in Pharmacology is a term applicable for the drugs administered into the system. When the agonist (high affinity towards receptor, high efficacy) and the antagonist (high affinity, zero efficacy), which are similar, act together on the same receptor, it decreases the potency of the drug (DRC shifts to the right) but the efficacy remains unchanged... (or something like that, I'm sleepy) Maybe that's how I wish to be.. Through good and bad.. my response shouldn't oscillate to extremes. I wish to attain that state of balance and constancy in my life and remain efficacious in my efforts irrespective of any other factors.

Moving on from such deep (and dumb) reflections, Microbiology is a a germy affair, Pathology is progressing in snail's pace (Casseous Necrosis is seen in the Lung. But did you know that Casseous comes from the Casein which is the protein in milk which is denatured to Paneer which is known as Cottage Cheese. So that explains why it's known as Cheesy necrosis. Pharmacology discussion classes have necessitated regular reading to prevent flop shows but the graph of Portion Covered Vs.Time Taken to cover it is quickly becoming a Linear graph compared to the initial stages of Hyperbola.

When I'm not dozing with my eyes open during any sleep inducing class, I'm forever searching beautiful quotes on Instagram.

Experiments.

Deepu, BP, Abhi and Me. :)

Blogging with 10% charge remaining. Hence, this is going to be one hurried post.

Back in college, back to the routine (of Lounging in the Library) and back to everything. Well almost, because there certainly have been a few changes. 

For starters, I got a new haircut. (Inspired by our Surgery lecturer's amazing haircut). It was actually an impromptu decision carried out in solo and met with some skepticism from Ma (understandable, considering how Long Hair is the prerequisite for any woman according to her) but then, Hair will grow back, but Time cannot be reversed. Hence, such experiments should be conducted at the right age. :P

New roommates are another shift from last year. Hoping for good times ahead with Nammu ma'am and Ehra. Apart from this, I'm currently battling a disease. The primary symptom is that I remember random events from my life and a weirdly inappropriate smile appears at all the wrong times. This disease has no known cure, except of course to have a better control of where you let your thoughts wander during any soporific class.

Currently addicted to Tum Hi Ho and Kabhi Jo Badal Barse (the remixed versions) by the singer Arjun. 

College has been going on as usual. My affinity towards my phone has reached alarmingly high levels. (I should probably stop taking my phone to college, I've blossomed into a big Snapchat addict, a regular Hiker and an intensive Instagrammer. (All to make up for the time spent on WhatsApp -_-)

In this week, we got to see our first patient. A 27 year old woman with a recurrent swelling in the breast. We took her case history and examined the swelling. We met her again after the surgery and wished her all the best. For our first case, we were pretty excited and a major part of the process is about effective communication to elicit information from the patient. You'll need to take the patient into your confidence, listen to their complaints, their story, even if it doesn't directly pertain to the case and assure them that eventually they will get better (even if you aren't sure of it yourself). The toughest moment came today in the afternoon when we met her after the surgery. She broke down into tears and expressed her worries whether the swelling would recur again. We consoled her and assured her that she would be fine. This is our very first case, years later I might look back and feel sheepish/foolish/lame/stupid at my observations.. But then, the patient is not just another "case", they are individuals with a family, a story and are vulnerable. They require support and comfort too, apart from the medical care provided. 

Today happened to be quite an eventful day. Clinical postings in the morning were suspended and we assembled in the Lecture Hall. The route to the lecture hall was studded by security guards posted at regular intervals interspersed by clumps of nurses at the main entrances to greet the VIPs of the function. The event was to mark World Mental Health Day (Oct 10th) and was presided by the DC of Shimoga (V P Ikkeri) and the main man behind the event was Dr. Ashok Pai, a prominent psychiatrist, native to Shimoga and known for improving psychiatric facilities throughout Karnataka. Several other emiment persons also attended the event,

As I've heard on innumerable occasions, they spoke about the need to spread awareness about the importance of mental health, eradication of the stigma associated with it, improved mental health facilities in all districts and the lack of qualified doctors and psychologists to treat the increasing number of psychiatric patients. (The statistics are quite grim, one in four persons is susceptible to any mental health disease, one in every family may have a person suffering from a mental health disease..) 

Apart from this, we also witnessed a show from students of a school for Mentally Challenged children. The children performed exceptionally well and left many of us teary eyed at their enthusiasm, exuberance and their excitement. Somewhere, I was confused whether one must feel "sad" for them. True, we encouraged them, cheered them to perform better and applauded them for coming on stage and perfoming in front of a crowd, but is there the need to "pity"? Maybe not. Maybe. It's probably a very sensitive topic and I'm not very convinced I have a solid argument for either case, so I'll let it rest. But one thing can be said for sure, it certainly made the children happy to come on stage, as it made us, :)

Adios, dear readers (if any). It's about time I wind up and write Forensic Records for Vindhya (In return for Chocolates, what else? [Wait, am I turning into a greedy pig?!?!])

Give It Any Name, fo chrissake!

Tired, Aching and Sleepy. Yet feel the urge to blog because who knows when I'm going to do so again.

One more vacation has passed and it's time to head back to where I belong. Diwali was a noiseless affair and the only things we lit were a few diyas, a handful of sparklers and flower pots. Balipaddimi at Vnagar is another tradition that's been followed for the longest time, but never have we had such a quiet Diwali. But it isn't about that is it? It's a time to get together (and click pigs. xD)

Songs playing in my mind:

• Piya Re Piya Re (by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan)
• Piya O Re Piya (Atif)
• Lehrein (because it's apparently the worst caller tune possible. -_- And I have it. B) )

All Lit Up!

Family Selfie Scenes!

And that's how she spent the three days.

SLR Scenes

And today, I met my homies, my lovelies, my foolies; Bhopie and Shamie (aka Sheepie). Hogged on some breakfast (Food is our numero uno priority in life) and chatted about Life, 'the meaning of "meaning" ' and other extremely sensible topics [the creepiness of rabbits and the importance of finding a soulmate who will be okay with you talking about rabbits for no apparent reason, the pointlessness of snakes and roaches, the horror of having Gopalan ma'am snub you in your dreams (as well), my very exciting social life in Shimoga (which left the two of them gaping in wonderment), the social 'habits' of our friends' circle, the college buzz from PeeShit (Oops, I meant Pesit. :P ), the plans for future and the purpose of the lives we're leading in different cities (by a twist of fate)].  

Happy Scenes

 A dose of Maidha and Sanj can elicit happiness for a long time to come. May they never ever change and continue to spread joy and laughter with those pea-sized brains. I've never spoken so much nonsense (and yet felt so much at peace) in SO Long! :") I'm SO glad this short meetup happened (Maidhs luckily finished her pre-Internal cramming and Sanj surprised us by flying down from Bhopal for the Diwali break. :D)

Spazz Scenes

I shall retire for the night. There's a bus to catch in 8hours, a back that's broken, a brain that's starving for sleep.

Deluded Rambles.

Blissful sleep is better than Insomnia.
Insomnia is better than having nightmares.
But what if those nightmares were better than reality itself?

It all feels like a Castle built on cards; ready to collapse into irreparable rubble at the slightest nudge. Those within, know the reality and live in the constant fear of being buried alive, while those outside, assume it to be a palace where the residents would live "Happily Ever After".

Fear can sap the life out of the best moments, fear can hinder progress, bring back the memories you hope to forget and leave you in a perpetual state of turmoil. The future can appear promising and hopeful or bleak, uncertain and daunting; it all depends on the vision of the individual and the ability to make that vision a reality.

Some experiences alter our take on life. It leads us to take certain decisions that may be questioned, criticized and scrutinized but know what we are doing is in the best interest. Ultimately, we must live with our choices, nobody can change that. 

Is there no end? No solution? Doesn't it ever get better? I've given up on expecting any answers.

Maybe it's a cliche'  expression, Maybe it's also true. Maybe, i'm the impractical fool who didn't believe it. When the going is good, you are surrounded by people who share the moment with you and make it all the more sweeter. But when the storm hits, you realize you've got to fight your battles alone and that makes it all the more painful.

College begins on Monday. As they say, From the frying pan into the fire. Do what you believe in, believe in what you do. It's important to be yourself, to stand by your values and lead your life by your principles rather than being perfect in others eyes. "Others" being the fair weather folks who disappear in times of need.

We've done some online shopping via Amazon and Flipkart. Here's hoping it'll be put to good use.

Divya and I have been productive these holidays. :)

Fresh batch of Diyas, waiting to be painted.

Colours to sparkle it up!

The last picture to be taken on the Samsung Galaxy Ace

All lined up to be glittered.

Ta-daaa! :)

What Happens In Shimoga, Stays in Shimoga. :P

There is so much to blog about! This is going to be one LOONG Post! :D

So College began on the 6th of October as scheduled but most people came by Thursday or Friday.We reached Shimo on Monday night after driving through pretty heavy rainfall for most of the way. I attended classes from Tuesday and luckily enough Nammu ma'am and I become roommates. A lot of people got juniors or seniors as roommates due to the space constraint in the hostels.

We're now divided into smaller batches for our postings. The batch that I'm in will have Surgery for one month. The other batches include General Medicine, OBG and Community Medicine. Our HoD is Dr. Lahoti and so far a few lecturers have taught us the basics, that is, History Taking (eliciting information from the patient and presenting it), pain, examination of a lump of swelling, an ulcer and few other concepts. We haven't been allowed to the wards yet (although we're encouraged to do so in the evenings and over the weekends) and it will be quite some time before we see any surgery. Until then, we've got to master the art of History Taking; that is asking the right questions from the patient to come up with a diagnosis.

Our clinical postings are from 9 to 11 everyday. After this we have theory classes for the next two hours (by which time I'll be absolutely famished and ready to eat anything that's served, so mess food is not a problem.) Our second year subjects are Pathology (study of disease), Pharmacology (study of drugs, their actions, mechanisms and excretion), Microbiology (study of (pathological) microorganisms) and Forensic Medicine (use of medical knowledge, physics, chemistry and biology for establishing the cause of deaths, injuries, etc.

The books we're expected to refer to are:

• Pathology: Robbins (Harshmohan for the exams)
• Pharmacology: K D Tripathi
• Microbiology: Ananthanarayan and Panicker 
• Forensic Medicine: KSN Reddy 
• Surgery: S. Das 

Post lunch (when sleep sets in and fighting it becomes a challenge) we have labs as usual for 2 hours. On our first Forensic Lab, I made a fool of myself by nearly fainting. Maybe it was the suffocating feeling because 30 of were huddled together, maybe it was because we were seeing a lot of grotesque images all at once, but for a few zillion seconds, everything seemed to spin and I'm thankful I didn't collapse. But it's also an extremely annoying, disappointing moment that I was too 'weak' to withstand two hours of Forensic Lab. Can't/Shouldn't/Won't happen again. 

Our first Pathology Lab was equally memorable owing to the fact that the HoD appears to be rather eccentric. The 10 minutes that Vaibhav Sir spent with us was much more informative (although his negative approach can be very putting off. "You have to pay for every moment you waste. Maybe you'll pay for it now, maybe you'll pay for it later, but you''ll have to pay for all the time you waste.") 

The good and not so good aspect is that college starts at 9. Good because we get to sleep more and not so good because we get to sleep more (than we need to.) Our college began much later than it was supposed to, (almost 20 days late) but somehow I haven't been able to really get into the groove yet. It's probably the extended vacation where I didn't study, it's probably a slight decline in motivation levels or it's the 10 day Diwali vacation that we're now having or maybe it's "kobbu". Plus I've been freaking out over how I've forgotten nearly everything I studied in first year, which makes me question how and why did I pass and which makes me all the more worried about how I will cope with second year. Nevertheless, I definitely must start working soon. (Time to deactivate FB, perhaps?)

In fact, on the last (but one day) before the holidays, Dr. Gopinath Sir brought a real patient for us to examine. She was extremely cooperative and allowed us to watch her being examined (usually patients are hesitant and require to be convinced) but the anticlimax was that we were pretty much clueless about how to proceed after the basic history taking. It seemed like an eye opener to many of us as to how much we were lagging behind. The worst possible feeling is when you do not know how to help the patient in front of you. And every medical student should study with that thought in mind. 

Baddie ke Baad. PC: Nammu.

:D

On the fitness front, Baddie in the mornings with Vindhya has been a way to keep fit. Maggie consumption has decreased drastically (I eat fruits while Nammu makes Maggi) and Coffee consumption is yet to begin (The milk+water+dicoction+heaps of sugar in the mess cannot be called coffee.)

In the past 10 days, we watched Bang Bang (for Hrithik Roshan) {speaking of whom, I have a new goal for the next 10 days. Hint: *Dance*}, Bangalore Days (Awwww) and Miss Congeniality (ma'am and I). Apart from this, I've spent 2 whole hours in the Library reading about Routes of Administration of Drugs and nothing else. The worrying thing is all the teachers want to ask questions in class or lab or postings, and that too randomly. (How did they guess it was the best way to freak me out?!)

Beepee, Deepu, Abhi and Me

Roomies. BangBang day. :)

And in the midst all this, there are juniors. And my god, they're a handful! So after the first week, there were plans for a Fresher's day [for the juniors, organized by the seniors (3rd and 4th term, boycotted by the 5th term (well, almost)] and slowly things began to fall in place. The last two days before the event (Udhbhava 2014) seemed like a mad rush and coordinating everything was certainly a logistical nightmare. There seemed to be a few hiccups but it was soon sorted out because in the end, the show must go on.

Being involved in such events can be a great opportunity to learn. Learn about people, from people and to be a better person. Sometimes, it's important to see good in every person. Even if it's easy not to. Doing that will make you a more tolerant person, I believe. Sometimes, when you see people really happy, you just want to step back and watch from a distance, because it seems too special to walk in on their moment. 

For the first time in a seemingly long time, I was criticized for my English and I'm glad that happened. I was probably getting too complacent that what I write sounds good, but the reality check actually made me improve. Apart from this, we had a lot of fun. That's the best part, without a doubt. And yes, of course, I extracted (and will continue to extract) chocolates as payment. ^_^

But first, Let Me Take A Selfie. :P

Abhi Abhii :)

So the show began formally (anchored by our batch people only, after some confusion) with a few speeches (by a junior, by me (we're thankful to have good seniors who guided us *cough-Vindhya-cough* and we intend to do the same to the juniors *cough-Joke-cough*) and by the dignitaries on stage (Classic FacePalm moment: the MD of the college says "We hope you will be better seniors to your juniors than the present seniors are to you.") and after this was the informal cultural events, stage based games and other "fillers". The juniors seemed a lot more confident and some of them showed real talent. After this was the Oath Taking Ceremony where the juniors were made to repeat a light-hearted oath which include these tenets:

• I will maintain my attendance at 75%, not less, not more.
• I will not make Biochemistry book my pillow.
• I will not read Anatomy in Physiology class.
• I will read the first 19 pages of Cunningham manual.
• I will prick myself for drawing blood for Hematology experiments.
• I will not marry before the age of 40.
• I will try my level best to like the mess food.
• I will watch the Atkins video instead of Bang Bang movie.
• I will learn to sleep with my eyes open.
• I will drink coffee or tea as frequently as water.

And so on.. After this was the DJ night and Kundu, Anu (only for a short while though) and I were DJ-night mates (just like last time.) Basically we didn't dance, we said we wouldn't dance. But at some point, we realized that this opportunity may not come again, hence we went out there are began mimicking the best dancer around for some basic moves until we remembered that we said we didn't know how to dance, so we came back to our seats. It was a night to remember, thanks to all the people who made it so special. :)

Selfie Spree. :P :D Rajesh, Anu, Govi and I (I look blind, I didn't know where the front camera was. -_-)

The next day we woke up hoping that there wouldn't be any classes but then that's too much to hope for, so we dragged ourselves out and made it to the classes and we were lucky enough to see our first patient (mentioned above). We had classes as usual , (Vaibhav Sir telling us about atrophy, physiological and pathological hypertrophies and also warning us not go binge drinking since he had seen some very disturbing accidents due to drunken driving) and Siddlingappa Sir telling us about the metabolism of the drug (and also that classes would be held on the 18th). 

Post the ritualistic nap, it was time to fulfill a promise. Although I threatened to treat in our canteen, we ended up at Bhatru Pani Puri after which I lost a bet to gulp down Masala Pepsi the fastest and we fought tooth and nail over Alpenliebes. In any case, this is the photographic evidence that my treat has been given (hence it can't be extracted again in future). Moreover, I deserve to be treated for such a bold/courageous/spunky deed. Sometimes, you shouldn't (in any case, I didn't) think too much. Nothing will seem right, everything might seem wrong and you'll never be happy. Just go with the flow, you might have a good time. :) What will come out of unwarranted introspection that will only create more doubts in your life? Spontaneity is good, it's different from reckless, though. Spontaneity adds variety to life. My speech ended with the lines, "It's good to have an end to the journey, but in the end, it's the journey that matters." Maybe I'm a destination kind of person, I don't know. But I can be a journey kind of person too. Maybe, they're both equally important.

Ay-Vi-Em, Masala Puri and Me.

Post snacks, I had dinner (stop gaping, I have healthy metabolism. I don't hog.) and it was time for Adios. Our train reached Bangalore in the early hours, next morning. All I've done since I set foot inside the house is sleep. It's actually bothering me that an individual can sleep so much in a single day. The best part is the surprises that Di had in store for me! :D

Cards, Crafts and more! <3

My phone has been failing me off late and owing to that (and the hectic few days), I haven't been able to contact anybody much (that includes home). Our room had the damned-est network possible and one could only message or receive calls if the mobiles were held in certain angles (which were certainly most inconvenient) and this left us loitering in the corriders, waving the phone frantically in the air, hoping to get that elusive network.

Some times, you grow over some acquaintances, some friendships. It's because one of the persons changes while the other doesn't. After that, it becomes awkward because you fail to see anything in common and you realize you've tried enough. I'm still in the process of figuring out what to do in such cases. You don't want to be rude, you don't want to pretend either.

I'm glad I blog. It makes me realize how lucky I am, how much I've got to improve and it helps me remember to be who I am, no matter what.

Apprehension.

This perfectly captures my current emotion. 

Bheemi's B'day!

College will begin soon. Mixed emotions alert. Overwhelmed by a sense of relief (that it's finally starting), excitement for what's in store and dread (for reasons best left unanswered.) Need to figure out a game plan for the coming term and get into the mode.

Transfer to Bangalore isn't an option anymore. *sigh* 

Behind the sarcasm, behind the sharp, cutting words, I probably agree. I just need to listen to my conscience and do the right thing. Sometimes the ones who hurt us the most probably mean the best for us.

As Hrithik Roshan aptly put it, "Don't be the nice guy, be the good guy.". 

In the past week, I've spent time at Vnagar (Gaadi scenes. B) ), met Athira and spent time with her, caught and donated a terrible cold and cough to all those around me, gone to Orion Mall in the gaadi (I'm surprised I even got permission!) and discovered that I suck at bowling. (I'm serious, I'm atrociously pathetic. Not that it's a major impediment anyway but still. -_- )

It's funny how badly I want(ed) college to start, but now that it finally will, I'm having a classic case of Cold Feet.

There are plenty of things I'll need to work on, getting my concepts clearer, for starters. Doing MCQs, keeping in touch and on par with other medico pals, acquiring more knowledge and retaining it, staying fit, staying on track, maintaining equilibrium between work and fun, keep more in contact with the Famili and.... the list is endless.

Why am I so thrilled about giving sweets to the librarians? It's because I had a mental cold war with them and I know from their looks that they thought I'm a nutcase who wouldn't clear the exams. -_-

Things I'm looking forward to: (Blogging is therapy for the panicking soul)

• Clinical postings!
• Surgeries!
• Baddie with Vindhya!
• Laibu (After one year of nearly living there, wouldn't you expect me to address it with a teensy bit of affection?)
• Fun times with the friends! 
• And.. I don't know what else.. just the college I guess. Do I like my college? I wish I could answer that. I honestly cannot be sure even after a year.

Toodles, dear reader. My lacrimal glands have been working idiopathically for some time now. It's about time I end this confused post.