Confabulations.

There are dreams every night,

Those that promise to be windows to another world,

Dreams where everything is right,

Only that they never return.

There are daydreams that come and go,

With a glimmer of hope but nothing more.

Was it real? I'd never know,

Lost ships without a shore.

And then there is you; as real as ever,

You are no delusion for I've never felt more alive,

Yet I wish you were an illusion,

Because you're the best dream that was never mine. 

Too Little, Too Late.

So last Saturday was the trip to Kodachadri. One memorable trek with friends. We started at 4 AM, spent the early hours at Shivappanayaka Fort in Hosanagara (where we clicked loads of pigs) and then traveled to Kodachadri. We then traveled via jeeps on a bumpy road upto the guest house and had our breakfast and then began the trek uphill. We first visited the Shankaracharya temple and another cave-like temple and then returned to the guesthouse for lunch. After this we began another slippery trek towards Hidlumane falls on a damp drizzly route infested with leeches. After what seemed like forever, after several slips, falls and moments when I was sure I wouldn't make it, we all finally reached the falls and it sure was worth the arduous trek! We rushed into the waterfalls and the force of the water literally hit us like pellets of stones. After spending ample amount of time in the water, it was time to begin the trek back to the starting point and this was another challenge as part of the route was along the course of the rivulet. Thankfully we all made it before nightfall and refreshed ourselves in Hosanagar and then reached college by 10:30 PM. It was one of my first such experiences with friends and I couldn't have possibly made it without their help and support (and even taunts :P ) at every step of the journey! :) Here's wishing that we have many more such excursions in the future and explore uncharted territories. One of the things that made me happiest is the fact that Ma and Pa were glad about the trip. For me, it's a big step that they were happy about the trip and did not reprimand me for being a part of it. It gave me a lot of happiness to see that my parents understand my happiness and share the same. 

Post the trip, all of us were exhausted beyond description. It took us a day or two to get back to normal gait. It was with much reluctance that we submitted the "Patho Assignment" of a Mind Map of Polycythemia on the following Monday.

This weekend I'd been home since Di hadn't been keeping too well. We spent some time over NSO and IMO and then Di transformed into Harshaali Malhotra and I had the honor of a photo session with her. After the customary Baddie, shopping and Paakashala session we also watched a play at KH Kalasouda where Atthe, Mama, Nidhz and Ajji joined us. 

The play "Atheetha" is about a famous criminal lawyer who is presumed to have led a perfect flawless life. He is approached by a young lady for his Biography. After much ado, he agrees and begins the narration of his not-so-innocent life where his spotless record actually was just an illusion because beneath was a man who did not care for anyone but himself and his family suffers the consequences. He is beyond guilt because he rationalizes all his actions and does not seem to have a conscience. He shows no remorse for theft, adultery, forcing an abortion or losing a case on purpose as a favour for a politician. This happened to be the first intense play I've watched and the actors did a superb job and brought tears to many of us with their heartrending performance. 

So we had the Patho quiz today in class and I've done crappily enough to rule out getting selected. I feel unworthy of conversation with Icaboo after everything.

When the present becomes a repeat telecast of the past, it only fills you with dread. Currently using the device that I used in 2012-13 and it brings back some dark memories. Those were times when integrities were questioned, arguments were baseless and nights were endless. There were some terrible days then and I still wonder, why do we put up with it? Will there ever by an answer? Turns out that there isn't much difference between the past and the present except that no one has a clue what to do, no one has the energy left in them to deal with such horrors again and no one will ever voluntarily associate with us in such a state. This time, I'm not even around to do anything significant. When the people around us have metamorphosed beyond recognition, then, my friend, you are truly lost. 

All this seems like a wake up call that reality is not in fact, what I've been living. It is what I've been denying all along. It is indeed sad to hear that there is no use of education or employment when there is no compatibility between individuals. In life, any tide, any storm can be overcome when two individuals believe in each other. Without that, life is a misery to themselves and those around. The very foundations upon which your beliefs rest begin to crumble, leaving you orphaned to the brutalities of the world. It fills me with dread when I think about the future when the present itself is so bleak. There is no greater loss than the loss of hope. When one has lost hope that better days shall come, one is truly lost. It fills me with dread when I think about the ones who depend on me for better days. What am i if I cannot help those who require my presence in the hour of need? A coward? Or a selfish fool? What am I if I cannot give hope to those who have shown me that hope is everything? It is hard to digest that at the end of the day, dreams shall perish after being starved of hope and support. All the things that I had imagined since a child will remain etched as figments of a creative mind. Reality is a brutal whip that slashes across your tender hopes when you least expect it.

There's no running away from reality when it has decided to haunt you for the rest of your life. You might as well tell yourself you've been living a lie all along. 

I never promised to be nice. 

Brain Wars.

8-8-2015 Kodachadri Trek

Separate Blogpost on our first group trip coming up soon, but before that there are a zillion things reverberating in my brain. First of all, thoughts seem to run amok and wreak havoc when you least expect them to. When the line between expectation and reality becomes painfully evident it leaves you trying to avoid the truth that lies bare before your eyes. When you realize where you stand it can leave you either surprised or dejected because of your imagination. Speaking of imagination, there isn't a bigger culprit than the dreams crafted by your brain without any practicality or iota of reality. And then there is the final realization that no matter what, somethings can never change. It does no good to dwell on irrationality. Home and Bangalore seems like another universe altogether and I can only live on the hopes of getting back to where I belong. Then again, in this ephemeral world, I no longer know where I truly belong. Getting back to books after almost a month seems like an arduous task and I fervently hope that I shall be able to begin something productive in the coming days.

Toodles dear reader, your perseverance will be rewarded very soon! :)

Weird, Wild and Wonderful.

It's 1.45AM as I begin this post but this post JUST cannot wait. So I was right here, plonked on my bed, scrimmaging through the web for the Patho assignment and typing out a reply to my Quora friend Preethi (who is incidentally also a blogger, a travel enthusiast and a Pro-Kannada activist :) ) and that's when it all began. An hour or so later, I got a call from an unknown number and it turned out to be Preethi. So there was a plan to ëxplore Bangalore" and she invited me be a part of it. Now, this isn't usually things are in my life. I rushed to get myself ready and presentable and then I realized I had to get Madre-Padre to get on the same page. I convinced Ma that I've known her for a long time and that I'll be absolutely safe (travelling to an unknown place to meet new people) and I set off! 

Unsure of the bus route to Yeshwantpur, I called up a few local dosts and got a fair idea. I hopped on to the bus to Nayandahalli, then took and auto upto Nandini Layout (initially I thought I'd take the auto to Gorguntepalya but I realized that would cost a bomb) and then literally ran and caught a slightly moving bus to Yeshwantpur bus stand. I got a Day Pass done which basically meant that I could travel in any BMTC bus without paying anything more. 

Finally, after what seemed like forever, I met Preethi and for the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like I was meeting a stranger because we've been reading quite a bit of each other's writing. Soon, Apeksha (Preethi's school friend a.k.a Kappe :P ), Preethi and I were on our way to Orion and the chattering session began. We exchanged campus stories, complained about the crowd in our colleges, ranted about the messed up system, raved about Quora, built castles in the air w.r.t. future travel plans and meetups and basically spoke about everything under the sun. We wandered around for a while in Orion, lounged around in Landmark, walked cluelessly to a random bus stop and then realized that we needed to walk back to Yeshwantpur bus stand to travel to our next destination. We trudged back to the bus stand but the Prodigal bus eluded us for a long time. Finally we got into a bus that got us fairly close to New BEL Road. We walked along the IISc campus on a broad road shaded by a green canopy discussing the not-so-rosy life of Engineering students and clearing many myths and misconceptions. Famished,(well, not completely!) we crashed into Pizza Hut and had just placed our orders when Subbu a.k.a Subramanya (Apeksha's friend from MSR) joined us. We hogged, chatted and time seemed to fly! The best part is how we all had an amazing time despite having met for the first time. *FAITH IN HUMANITY RESTORED*

Post lunch, Subbu said he would take us to an interesting place about 2km from MSR and since we were all fed and watered, we felt upto the long walk. En route we spotted a Astrologer's place and weirdos that we are, we did the most amazing thing!! P and A walked in with a complaint that they had feelings for no Y chromosomes but each other. I was P's sister and S was A's brother. It was a tough moment for us as we tried to stifle our laughter and come up with fake names, DOBs, time and location of birth and nakshatra. The astrologer being a hi-tech dude, whipped out his iPhone and keyed in the details and calculated something and peered into his MacBook for some astrological insignia. Several cowrie shells later, he declared that the "problem" was very bad and because of a common enemy known to both of them and plotting for their downfall. he claimed to have "solved" several such cases in the past and offered to identify the person causing the problem and rid them of their problem for a sum of 4.5k. We mumbled a plausible reply, paid him the consultation fee and stumbled out laughing at our antics! One of the strangest things I've been a part of and I loved the spontaneity of it. :D

We walked along through unknown lanes, through cow-trodden paths and wide roads lined by mansions, apartments and trees talking about a great many things like we were long lost siblings (*Kumbh mela me bichde hue behen*). Discussions ranged from Quora personalities, engineering, medicine, singing paeans about our beloved Bengalooru, Marathi descendants in Tamil Nadu, qualitative comparison of animal poops, Apeksha's love for animals and imaginary plans on trying joints while I watch the fun! xD 

Preethi, Apeksha, Subbu and Me :)

We spared Subbu the ignominy of making fools of ourselves in his locality and then he led us through a tiny gate in the compound wall and.. voila! we were in the midst of greenery right in the heart of Bangalore. We walked along the path inside the GKVK campus and Subbu led us to an uspoilt rocky terrain with mini swamps and cacti. After this we realized that since 3/4 of us had to travel to opposite ends of Bangalore, it would be prudent to begin our journey backwards. This is when rain added to the celebration and we were all drenched in a span of minutes. Nevertheless, we raced the nearby shelter and watched Preethi soak in the rain. Afterthis we walked upto the Hebbal bus stand and we said our (temporary!!) goodbyes and parted ways. Preethi and I took a bus to Nagarbhavi while Apeksha traveled towards CV Raman Nagar and Subbu went back to Sanjaynagar. Preethi being the perfect host (but I can take care of myself!!) insisted on accompanying me until I found the best way to travel towards BSK. Finally, I took an auto upto 2nd stage while she took another bus towards Nagarbhavi BDA and then reached home via gaadi. After this, I had a lot more walking (in the rain) to do and my legs feel like logs but it certainly doesn't matter in the least!

At the Rocky Place, GKVK Campus

This meetup will remain in my mind for a long, long time to come because nothing about was planned, there were no expectations and yet I've come back with a treasure trove of memories and friends I really want to meet again at the earliest opportunity. :) Traveling by myself made me realize that it's important to ask when you're not sure. Ask if you are unsure of the route, of the stop you need to alight at, of anything for that matter! Once you get around to asking people when you have a question, you'll realize that most people are willing to help you around. That's the best part. Getting to know like minded people gives me the confidence to stay weird despite everything that forces me to join the bandwagon. Meeting new people is the best way to broaden your horizons, come out of a cloistered shell, exchange thoughts with like minded individuals and understand how others cope with similar issues. Sometimes all we need is the hope that we're all in the same boat and that one day we'll reach the harbor. :)

)

Prettiness by the pavement. :)

That's all for now folks! Toodles. :)

A Bit Of This And That..

Hey there folks! So I’m back in Bangalore and we’re finally done with the second internals! 2 weeks from now we will be “promoted to 5^th term” and we will thence be known as “The Exam-going batch” but until then Home is the only destination. :)

So we had our theory papers and we literally went crazy trying to finish everything. Pathology especially was a tough nut to crack and despite spending 3/5^th of my study time on Pathology most of us walked out rather disappointed with our performance. The bouncer in the question paper was Polyarteritis Nodosa which is a type of vascular disease.  Although Blood Vessels was covered in class and we had a vague memory of the topic being covered in class, none of us were prepared to write a 5 mark answer on it.

Basically Polyarteritis Nodosa affects the small to medium-sized arteries and it’s characterized by a “Rosary Bead” appearance. But alas, even this nugget of information failed to cross my mind during the exam. So instead I uselessly wrote about Henoch Schonlein Purpura (HSP) which is also a type of vasculitis with palpable purpura, glomerulonephritis and pain in the abdomen. Acute Pancreatitis was another question I didn't expect so I wrote a little about the pathogenesis and then went on about Grey Turner's Sign which is bluish discoloration around the umbilicus and it's seen in Acute Necrotizing Pancreatitis. Funnily enough, Aadi and I were quizzing each other just the day before the exam and that's how I thought of writing these random things.

Micro went without much ado because the paper was easy and contained many questions from our earlier Bacteriology test paper. Forensic now seems funny because although I didn’t waste too much time and began studying by 5PM, I had truckloads to finish and to top it all I fell asleep with dreams of waking up at an unearthly hour and finishing what was left. Alas, Sleep overpowered me and at 7AM, I woke up teary eyed and hoped for a miracle. As the words failed to make any sense, I resigned myself to my fate. As the dreaded hour approached, Nammu tried to pep me up by asking some questions but my cluelessness did nothing to improve my mood. Nevertheless, it takes courage to walk into the battlefield knowing that you won’t come back victorious. After vehemently arguing with roll numbers 31 and 34 that I possessed no knowledge whatsoever, we looked at the question paper and well… I began writing whatever little I could remember and concocted plausible answers for most of the questions. Fate, they say, is a fickle friend. :)

After this, we began preparing for the practical exams in all earnest. Reddy, Nammu, Likki and I were had the same practical time table so we began with Pathology and later Abhi and BP also joined us. We began with the histopathology slides (which we got from Icaboo) and then we did a bit of Hematology as well.

Our Pathology practical exam goes like this:

• Spotters: Instruments, gross specimens, histopathology slides, hematology..
• Haemoglobin estimation (by Sahli’s method) [which I managed to screw up to some extent]
• Blood group determination (where again I couldn't answer many of the questions regarding blood banks despite preparing posters on the same subject)
• Urine analysis (where you’ve got to perform chemical tests on the urine sample to look for protein, sugar, ketone bodies or blood as abnormal constituents. Here again, I freaked out over the procedures and walked around hurriedly in hope of a miracle.
• Hematology slide: usually a type of anaemia or leukemia is given and you are expected to recognize the slide and write a report regarding the same. Usually, there is a case that accompanies the slide that gives a clue. Now here’s how it looks:



Acute Myeloid Leukemia



Megaloblastic Anaemia 



Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (look for smudge cells but
don't depend on them :/ )

 So on the ill-fated day, I found myself grappling with a slide that looked suspiciously like CML but the case suggested CLL. Alas, Luck and Logic had deserted me and having found no smudge cells that are characteristically seen in CLL, I presumed that the slide was on CML (even when it clearly said “70 year old with mild organomegaly and lymphadenopathy.. -_-) So when V Sir peeped into the microscope, he looked surprised and annoyed that I hadn't even recognized the slide right. Now how could he sarcastically reply to the lame answers I would give? Nevertheless I felt downright disappointed with myself and the only question that Sir asked was causes for massive splenomegaly (The previous day Sahana had told me a few but all I could remember was Portal Hypertension, CML and my fav, Hairy Cell Leukemia) So after this disaster, I know I have some Serious Issues with Path.

• The histopathology slide was Chronic Pyelonephritis and this was evident from the periglomerular fibrosis, thyroidization of tubules and inflammatory infiltrates. I blabbered a little regarding vesicoureteral reflex and bacterial infection and the rest went on uneventfully.

There is "thyroidization"of the tubules: look at the colloidal material
in the middle of the tubule. Fibrosis around the glomerulus and
relatively larger number of inflammatory cells.

Forensic passed uneventfully thanks to the mnemonics we made to remember the bones of the wrist joint (Can He Talk Less So That They Piss) and elbow joint (Head Mistress of TLC) in the order of the appearance of their centers of ossification. Microbiology also passed uneventfully (Uppi was in a good mood and restricted himself to Antimicrobials which isn't covered yet in Pharmac) and finally it was Pharmacology (by now I sounded like a full blown frog) and Siddu Sir began by asking "So you want to go to JIPMER?" (Me: *stares blankly for 3s* and Sir repeats and then it flashes to me that he's talking about the JIPMER fest Spandan, he later informs that the management will not permit any entrants in the fear of any such similar requests in the future. -_-). It went okayish (Sir: BZD anatagonist? Me: Flumazenil! *withathat'ssoobvioustonethatInowregret* Sir: Morphine antagonist? Me: *It'satthetipofmytonguebutItjustdoesn'tflash*....... NALAXONE/ NALTREXONE!! *Whew* But I couldn't wait to get out of the place and I literally ran back towards the hostel and began packing my bags because it was time to head home! A massive speedy pack-a-thon later BP, Likki and I set off towards Nammooru Bangalooru :)

Movies I've watched lately:

• Lakshya: A beautiful movie directed by Farhan Akhtar and starring Hrithik and Preity. Meaningful, well crafted and yes, it's got Hrithik <3!
• Queen: I loved this movie. It's like Bollywood has finally come of age! :)
• Bahubali: Don't ask, don't judge. I succumbed to parental pressure. -_- Not bad. -.-'

Musicophilia: I've been listening to a lot of songs lately all thanks to Hippo aka Froggie's awesome suggestions! Majority are from MTV Unplugged and take you to another world (especially with the right pair of earphones :P) with the soulful rendition and accompanying music. Music proved to be a stress buster during the exam fortnight because nothing can take away your worries like a beautiful song. Do listen to the MTV Unplugged version of these which can be found on Youtube under MTV Unplugged:

• Javeda Zindagi
• Maaeri
• Rangobati
• Jiyein Kyun
• Saibo
• Yeh Joh Desh
• Nayan Tarse and Badra Bahar
• Phir Se Ud Chala
• Tum Hi Ho

And soo many more! Most of the songs linger in your mind because the music is so rich and pure. Also listen to 

1. Daylight by Maroon5 
2. Songs by Pakistan based Coke Studio such has Dholna (Atif Aslam), Lambi Judaai (Komal Rizvi) and Nindiya Ke Paar (Uzair Jaswal).. 

After landing in B'lore, the next few days were spent on the treaddie, swimming and googling exercises for losing fat in different regions :P

Saturday was time for HSR Express Ver 2.0! :)

At Sanjana's Place.. 

Appa dropped me at BSK Bus stand and after this I took a regular bus to HSR Layout. Suprisingly, I reached in just over an hour (it's usually much more than that) and after this it was nonstop chattering about everything under the sun! Medical college stories, latest trends in colleges, friends, hostel life woes and so many more things. The best part is how both of us have similar experiences in our respective colleges. After a sumptuous lunch we resumed our chatter, photo sessions and some gaming. After a walk in the park it was time to bid adieu, albeit for a short while, and soon, I was on a direct bus to Jantha Bazaar. Here's hoping that we meet again soon! There is no end to conversation when we get together :)

After this, I headed home, only to be back on the same road with family at Village, Central, JP Nagar for another hogging session. Next day, i.e Sunday was eventful because after the customary Baddie, Treadmill and exercises and lazed around till noon and then Di and I headed to BAC by 3.30PM; It was time for Sibling Swimming Session!! We had loads of fun splashing around, racing each other and literally pulling each other's legs in the chilly pool. Now this is something I want to do again before these holidays get over! :D

Be Right Back. I've got a LOT to blog today! B)

Remembrance.

Eventually I shall not matter to you,
Just as you shall cease to exist to me.
You know that just as well as I do.
What matters is which shall precede;
Will you make me a stranger?
Or will I walk away as a lone ranger?

Today we remember the tiniest details in our story,
Some day, you maybe just another faded memory.
Today we laugh over the little things,
Some day, another shall wipe the tears of bigger things.

If I were to look back then,
I'd be glad to have let it happen
Just as much to have let it go,
After all, it gave me greater joy than sorrow.

Monsoon Love.

Call me whatever you wish but the weather is so beautiful that it makes you want to sing out loud, tap your feet to the tune in your mind, sway along with the wind and soak in the drizzle that surprises you when you least expect it. Monsoon in Malnad will evoke a happiness in you that cannot be compared, you start appreciating the magic around you, the cool winds its distant echoes add to the aura of the place and the cool, damp earth makes you want to curl up with a warm mug of coffee and a novel..... Alas!! Internals are approaching and it would be wise to begin burning the midnight oil as soon as possible for there aren't many nights left for them to begin.

But then again, Rain has always brought about unequivocal opinions. To the spirited soul, rain is the symphony of the elements of nature, rain is the shower from the heavens above, rain is the aphrodisiac for the ones in love, rain is the harbinger of freshness for those looking to begin again and rain is the atonement for those who let it wash over their past. Yet, rain plays a spoilsport to those who prefer the bright and sunny disposition of the sky, it brings a pall of gloom with its dampness, it may seem like the heavens shedding their tears of sorrow, it evokes memories of a past that cannot be changed, it persists and leaves you damp and chilly without the comfort of the warmth of the Sun. To each person, rains signify something different. To the same person, rain can mean different things at different phases, It's all about perspective. :) Every monsoon, there's a song that I have for it.

• Jeeyein Kyun (2011), 
• Yaariyan (2012)
• Tum Hi Ho (2013)
• Kabhi Jo Baadal Barse (2014)
• Yet to decide! So many on my mind, most likely, the award goes to Hamaari Adhuri Kahaani (2015)

Some evergreen songs on rain are:

• Barso Re Megha (Guru)
• Bhaage Re Mann (Chameli)
• Baarish (Yaariyan)

Apart from my ode to rain, there's more to blog. 

Last Friday, I OD-ed on coffee and stayed up till 4:20AM (-_-) to complete the Peds Case Sheets and on the following afternoon I left for Bangalore enroute the drizzly Arsikere road. The next day passed in a flurry: Bball session with Di and Dad at 6AM, Baddie on the road later, Ele oota session followed by Pizza and some shopping. Short trips like these ensure that not a moment is wasted. The train journey back to Shimoga was an interesting one. There was a group of young corporates (fresh out of college) in our berth and they seemed lively and chatty. Typical Bangalore cosmopolitan crowd of two guys and 3 girls, I couldn't help but reflect on how different I/We had become. One guy was explaining all about Liposuction and the procedure, he seemed to have a fair idea of what happens to the glycogen and the glucose in the Liver, one guy and girl requested me to shift to the other side because they wanted some privacy from the rest (I knowingly smiled and said "I understand" but they thought I was some lost highschool kid and I didn't bother correcting them either. :P After a while, they got bored and took selfies alone, chatted some more and then fell asleep. In the morning, they all woke up bleary eyed and claimed that none of them had slept a wink.("I was watching a movie", "I couldn't sleep at all man, that uncle was snoring so much","I was on the phone till 3.30, see, my battery's almost gone!") Soon, we disembarked from the train and I got back to college at the crack of dawn. :)

So we had this Poster Making "Project?" in college organized by V Sir as a part of World Blood Donor Day (June 14) and the whole class (well, almost) was divided into groups of 4 or 5 and we set about making a poster on a particular aspect of Blood Donation such as Criteria for blood donation, Rh Incompatibility, Major and minor cross matching, Infectious diseases, Adverse Reactions and so on. The topic we chose was Misconceptions on Blood Donation. So we conducted a small survey (among 70 second year students) to assess the knowledge and practices regarding blood donation. All though most of the questions were basic and showed that the students were aware about blood donation and the procedures, the percentage who actually donated blood was a paltry 10%. Rakesh, Raji, Satisha and I were a team and we managed to do a fair job with our poster. It was a good experience and I'm actually glad the Patho Dept came up with something that got the class working in groups. :)

Here's the Poster that we prepared. I hope many more people donate blood after the survey. I'm also contemplating the possibility of taking the survey further. As V Sir advised, it would be interesting to conduct a modified version of the survey on a larger scale here as well as in an engineering college and look at the trends among the students. That would make this the pilot survey since it was done in a smaller scale and now we know some of the flaws in the present survey and how to improvise upon it.

Paediatrics Postings have passed (yet my passing in the end posting remains a valid doubt) and we have now commenced with Dermatology postings. Pathology is weighing heavily upon us and if I were to Stage (depth to which I have read) and Grade (to what extent I remember the basics- That's a way of saying differentiation, okay? :') ) my knowledge, the results would be quite disturbing. 

Yesterday we decided to watch ABCD2 all of a sudden. The fact that it released in Shimoga is in itself a surprising event so we (Nammu, Adi, Likki, Akkamma, Reddy and I) got ready in no time and started towards the city despite the mild shower. The auto could take us only upto a point because the roads were blocked and a makeshift bridge (that could accomodate the width of one person) had been made with drainage (+river water?!) flowing underneath in full flow. We made our way through the squelchy mess only to see the entire Subbaiah community in full attendance! (mostly our batch, truth be told) Funnily enough, I enjoyed the second half of the movie a lot more after I got some insight on the seating arrangement. *grins like a Cheshire Cat*

See, now nobody can make out that Nammu is tanned! :P

After the movie (which is an interesting watch for those who like dance-themed movies) we headed to Mathura Central for a quick bite and then it was back to hostel. All plans of of coffee party were damned and I slept happily ever after. -_-

This isn't how I usually end my blogposts but I've been bitten by a crazy bug of happiness.
Exceptions happen. :')

This Too Shall Pass.

So yeah, I’m back again. It’ll probably be a while before I blog again (unless of course, I have a severe attack of Blogospasm)

The famed Paediatric postings have finally begun and it seems to be interesting. I don’t want to say much and jinx myself but the department is well organized and they seem to know what exactly they’re doing. They’ve given us a clear outline of what to expect in the entire course of Paediatric postings, what are the topics to be covered in each postings, the proforma for History Taking, the growth charts for grading the growth of the child and so on. Let’s hope that everything goes well for the next two weeks :)

Too often we get bothered and bogged down by trivial bullshit. (My apologies for the usage of the word but the situation demands it) We let random things clutter our thought process and divert us from the things that matter. We let ourselves get involved in conversations that have no rhyme or reason; we let ourselves think about events that have no consequence in our lives until they actually start to impact us. The more we let ourselves get bogged down by these inhibitors, lesser our efficiency. This happens to me very often. I alternate between cycles of productivity and lackadaisical disinterest. And when realization dawns, regret sets in.

It’s all a façade; behind the smile a hundred lies conceal.

Raw and fresh, the wounds had just begun to heal.

Just when you begin to believe that the storm has passed,

The distant clap of thunder mocks at your ignorance.

Some storms do not end, some battles cannot be won.

Some nightmares have no dawn, some wars cannot be conquered.

The bitter reality awaits and the illusion of perfection shall end.

Knowing that this is the beginning of the end, the pain lies in having to pretend.                                       

The waves come crashing in with all their intensity and rage,

Only to retreat meekly in shame and regret.

Year after year, day after day,

They never seem to learn and make the same mistakes.

Having to watch in despair and do nothing is a pain;

As the rock slowly crumbles to sand and fades,

As the sand melts under the tyranny of the waves,

And what was once a majestic boulder dissolves into nothingness.

Perhaphs one day, I can explain the meaning of this to you, dear readers.. 

Malnad Diaries. :)

Back from another Malnad-exploratory weekend!

My first trip was in Chikmagalur district and we covered Mullayanagiri and Habbe Falls. The route to Chikmagalur was serene and a splash of green all around. The roads were nice enough for us to zip through at a good speed and the weather was pleasant throughout. The Homestay was by itself like a bubble of solitude and tranquillity. Simple, comfortable and quiet; the variety of flowers around was a visual treat. Mullayanagiri is a trekker’s delight and the drive was narrow and winding. The pure air of the hills left us rejuvenated for the reminder of the trip. We took a jeep to Abbe falls which is relatively well preserved and easily accessible. The falls by itself is not huge but it appears picture perfect.

Spectrum Homestay

Habbe Falls

This weekend, Dad, Mom and Di arrived in Shimoga on Saturday afternoon and after soon quick and crazy thinking it was decided that Abhigna will join us and soon we worked out all the formalities and started off towards Horanadu. The journey was again beautiful by itself with fields, farms, villages and coffee plantations dotting the landscape. We reached by nightfall and visited the temple and then proceeded towards dinner. There’s something about the food here, the memory of it lingers in you for a long time. I still remember my visit to this temple about 15 years ago and the food was the same; simple yet so satisfying. :)

After this we retired for the day and I spent the next few hours sandwiched and wide-eyed yet oddly immersed in deep thoughts. The next morning, we woke up early enough to watch the changing colours of the sky in the sunshine and took a long rambling walk with no specific destination in mind. Di led the way, (other) monkeys welcomed us on the way and the chirping of a variety of birds greeted us. Post this walk and a visit to a Jain temple; we had our breakfast at an eatery on the street.

In the middle of our meal, an unkempt middle aged man walked in with a stick and began rambling loudly in what sounded like Telugu. He sounded angry and ranted for what seemed like a long time. The customers began to feel uncomfortable and we waited and watched hoping that he would leave. However, he seemed to be on roll and was spewing profanities and the owner had to raise his voice to make him leave. He didn’t leave immediately and his threatening growls could be heard as he made his way towards another eatery.

A few minutes later, another man (fairly well dressed and possibly in his 60s) entered the eatery and made some enquiries regarding the breakfast options available. He bargained for a while and then walked up towards us and started talking. He began with a detailed interrogation of Appa’s details: his occupation, place of residence, education, number of offspring, gender of offspring, reason for absence of male offspring (-_-), education of spouse and offspring and so on. This went on for a while and then Ma started getting fidgety and signalled towards Dad to begin his side of the interrogation or terminate the conversation. He was a retired History teacher from Mysore (which Appa tested by asking him about Battle of Plassey :P )and had worked in the PU Evaluation Board for several years. His children, a daughter and a son both had done MS and the son lived in London while the daughter lived in the country. He was here for the rice-initiation ceremony of his grand-daughter. He left soon after he finished his meal and we heaved a sigh of relief and finished our breakfast without any further interruptions.

Appa being Appa, unearthed some meaning out of this whole experience. In the end, the two men did not have much difference. Yes, one was supposedly well off and the other was not. One was educated and the other was not. Yet both man had a single trait: they wanted conversation. They wanted to talk. They had something in their mind which they wished to unburden upon any stranger on the street. They didn’t mind that it was a complete stranger they were opening up to. They just wanted conversation. The difference lies in the fact that while one is ostracized from society and treated as an outcast because of what he appears to be, the other is treated as sane and normal. Every individual has gone through something that changes them. Sometimes we just need to empathise with people. They aren’t the way they are for no reason; everybody has a story. 

After this we had another Temple darshan and then started back towards Shimoga. We halted at a river bank where Di played for a short while, at Khalasa where we had lunch and had a quick glance at the temple and at Amulya Shodha; a museum of sorts about 10km from Shimoga. It’s definitely worth a visit for the plethora of interesting things on display. The happiest moment for Pa and Ma was when the curator played an old track on an ancient gramophone. The experience transported us to another era for a few minutes. :) ) After this, MaPaDi packed up and boarded the 5pm bus back to Bangalore while Abhi and I reached the hostel and collapsed for the next several hours.

Thus ended another weekend well spent! Here's hoping for many more such beautiful experiences..

Statutory Warning: Nonsense Lies Ahead.

Warning the scanty readers that this post shall make no sense whatsoever.

So today (rather, yesterday) was our End Posting Test in Ophthalmology and we had to present a case. Ours was a immature senile cortical cataract and we answered to some extent to get some sort of marks. It dawned upon me (rather late) that making mistakes is a very good thing. It leaves you with a memory that will last longer than the memory of having gotten it right. (The spank (or rap?) that maám gave me for not doing palpating the globe appropriately will (hopefully) last for a long time.. )  

Weekend getaway to Chikmangalur with Atthe and Maama. A short but memorable trip where we visited Mullayangiri (in the midst of the clouds, the howling winds, the gusty air that makes you sway and the freshness in the air that cannot be found elsewhere!) and Habbe Falls (hidden in the middle of a plantation, this falls is ensconced in the midst of lush greenery and the cool shallow waters falling gently from the height makes it an ideal waterfall to enjoy the beauty as well as indulge in it.

Last week, we'd been to this coaching institute that has opened up in Shimoga. Basically it's to provide help for cracking PG entrance exams. It was a demo class and gave us a brief idea regarding the kind of competition we are going to face, the importance given to each subject, the books that we're expected to read and a sampling of the kind of questions that are often asked. 

I have the knack of doing amazing things in life. For example, walking into a bakery and asking the people at the counter (4-5) if it was open. The looks on their faces clearly indicated that they were wondering if there was anything wrong with me! 

Like I often reiterate, change is essential; we all need to adapt and acclimatize in order to survive and one cannot remain stagnant. We all evolve over time, owing to the surroundings, the company we keep, the work we do and the responsibilities we shoulder. But what if.. the metamorphosis has left you virtually unrecognizable? What if you no longer identify who you were initially after all the multitude of changes you have undergone in order to adapt to your surroundings? You might say that if it's working out for you with all the changes, then it shouldn't matter. But what about your originality? Has it been sacrificed for the price of belonging?

Sometimes the lines between who we actually are and who we portray ourselves to be become blurred and what ensues is a state of turmoil between our thoughts and actions. The mind cautions against frankness but the heart does not heed to these commands and behaves with the hope that one shall be accepted for who they are. But the truth is, very few people actually accept us the way we are; with all our flaws, intricacies and  idiosyncrasies. It is important not to seek this acceptance from everyone. It is important to remember those who have this wonderful quality because you will never hesitate to be yourself in their company!! :D

As hard as it seems to accept, the reality of Life is that people change. People walk in and out of our lives. When people walk into our lives and brighten our day, we don't question them for being a part of our lives. Yet, when people begin to walk out without rhyme or reason, it raises questions within us. We start looking back if we made mistakes and if there was something we could have done better. But sometimes, it's got nothing to do with us! People gradually fade out of our lives before we even realize that there is a void and it might be due to reasons absolutely unrelated to us. Maturity lies in accepting these twists of Fate and letting go.