Troubled Times...

Where Do I begin???
I spose at the very beginning...The Last few days have been trying and tough for everyone in the family.
Thursday my tests got over and I was ecstatic. Friday was AWESOME coz we had our case study( though it was hardly worth it's name).It was great fun and we took loads o snaps. (Course some ppl did not like that a lot.But I did'nt want to waste my Precious Day for that).
So that day I stayed up till 1.40 AM sending mails and all..N afta dat Mom n I went to Mantri Square in Malleshwaram. 
I think avoid the place unless you're blessed with unlimited energy and can tolerate crowds.I took my own sweet time for my shopping ( sportswear for B'minton  and cute tees 4 Base) and finally after a few arguments I was Done with my stuff.
The place was kinda too huge according ta me.Forum is good coz it's not too big nor is it small and congested.This one was Humongous.So after all the shopping , it was back home and I was up on the Net uploading the pics and other stuff.


Next day was A Girl's Day Out coz Akshatha, Dhruthi, Deepthi, Sumana, Neha, Vidhathri , Anusha and me all had a BLAST!!!
First I was at MM at 10.00 AM sharp  while everybody else slowly came.Sumana and Deepthi came at 10:40 along with excuses ready. :|
So we got into the bus and Akshatha joined us at Jayanagar.(And Never took a ticket.)Then we got down at 4th Block and ambled and strolled around aimlessly as if we had no responsibility or cares.( For a Change.)
We had some food at Cool Joint and dropped iceblocks in Cane-O-La.Clicked mad snaps on the way and I was busy hiding from a Nosey Aunt.Picked up some thing for my sis.Walked hand-in-hand with Deepthi.Remembered Rachana.Went to a park and had a nice Photo Session.(Some lame guys were interested in getting featured in our pix.Nothing was going to spoil Our Day.).Clicked away as if we were never going to see each other again.


Then we parted and we had Yelneeru.Walked a Real Long Distance and finally reached a topless bus stop.Scorched our butts on the seats and nearly died of thirst.
Got into a crowded bus whose passengers never decreased but steadily increased.Neha and I suffered from Acute Asphyxiation.Got back home at 3.00  PM dripped in dirt and covered with sweat but with  a look that I had had the time of my life which pleased my parents.


Then we left for our Ajji Mane and reached US( Ultra Slow thanks to:..............).Nidhi and Mama were getting ready to go to the match( Pavillion tickets.).
Thatha was happy to see me and said " Are you new to the family?, your  visits have become rare" in English.
Then I was requested to stay back while Mom n others went to the dentist.I wasn't happy but I agreed.
Later there was a change of plan and Ma agreed to take me along.Thatha said something about "old man", "longs for company", "rarely any visitors" and was also extremely angry about something I don't wish to disclose.
We left and I spent time with Atthe .It was a long time since I had spoken to her openly and it led to the Same Topic.Then  we had dinner at her Mom's place and reached Ajji Mane at 9 PM.
We saw him hobbling in the compound with a tired look.Ma was touched and requested me to speak to him kindly.
He was angry about us not spending time with him.  He was particularly angry with ......
He petted Anbu and lifted her up and pampered her.He gave me a glass of milk saying I should drink it If I cared for him.He spoke to Dr. Ajay Singh and said it might be possible that he will forget him.They spoke for a while and then we left after he gave Lokesh a Ravalgon and said "Bye " to each and every one of us.If Only I Had Known It was GoodBye that he said....................




Next morning we were supposed to leave for Mysore for a short trip and I slept after a bit of FB.Morning my mood was spoilt when MaguAjji woke me up at 5.When I was brushing my teeth Ma banged on the door and said Thatha had had a Heart Attack.I stared.I didn't know what to say.She left in a few minutes and I sat dumbstruck.Then MaguAjji dropped the bombshell.
He had died.


Only then din tell Ma coz she wouldn't be able to take it.He had died around 3 AM.I was too shocked to speak and I locked myself in my room.I felt myself in tears and let it all come out but there was nothing.Death. why did it have to come to him?
Heart Attack.But he wasn't a heart patient.He had loved me a lot.Had I loved him the same? Truth is bitter.
I was undergoing indescribable emotions and sat on the couch thinking of the memories.
Then we got a call.Ma. She had got to know.She had cared for him.And I will liberally add "the most".I couldn't say much.I just heard her.


Then I shut out my memories and went on FB. I don't know why I did it but I did.I saw the pix and uploaded them and all that stuff.Then we left for Vasanthnagar.During the journey I was filled with trepidation .I did not know whether I could take what I would be seeing.
We arrived.I got out  and rushed and saw the doors open and there he was.draped in garlands.Something he had never received in his lifetime.With a serene look that he never had when he was alive.
The rest of the day was emotionally taxing and I did FB  to destress myself.The rites where too much for me to see but I had to and also had to console my distraught Mom and Gran.Many were in tears and most were on the verge of it.And then it was all over.




Yesterday there was Base and I went.The Photo appeared in DH and TOI and we began to get non-stop calls from Bank colleagues , Family friends and a lot more people.Syko got to know too.
Base was nice but crowded and there were too many boys and I did NOT like that...


Tday was ok.Reading Good Wives.Set in 19th century America it's about a family of 4 girls and is interesting.Innocent and delicate, Alcott has left an indelible mark on me.


I still don't know why I haven't cried.Is my heart made of stone? I imagine him sitting beside me and reading this and that scares me.I often look around as if trying to find him in the skies or just as a translucent image.I'm rather scared to go to his room or see his walking stick, his watch , glasses and other things.


I wish I had spent more time with him.He used to tell me of his desire to live to see his grandchildren settled and happy.I wish I had spoken to him properly over the phone when he used to call, longing to hear my voice.I wish had come here more often instead of just pretending to study at home.I wish I had returned at least a fraction of the love that he loaded me with.I wish I had sung all the songs he had wanted me to.Now no one will ask to hear my voice again.


I was blaming myself for all this when Dad and I had a talk and I felt better.I'm convinced though that he was upset with us when he died and .....


I hoped tomorrow will be a better day and he will always remain in my mind.He wanted me to be a successful person and that I will do.
I believe even if nobody does that he can see us from the skies.Maybe he will be happy there after his years of suffering here.Dad agrees that all of us have something to  feel guilty about and that all of us  never understood him.Ma was the only one.


I want to compose a poem in his memory and will put it up as soon as it's done...
I guess you've got to be careful with what you say because ....Well, ppl take it differently and I hope never to hurt anyone anymore...
I think I need to improve as a person and treat others better.Gran's there and I'll do all I can for her.


Now , got other stuff to do.....


Toodles.

hmm..

‘Lo

Well Internet’s out for a while and I’m feelin bit bored…

Amazin technology really…There was an iron speck in my eye so the ophthalmologist put a needle into my eye and removed it!!

So I spose that was the reason for watery eyes….Went to Sapna yesterday..I wanted to buy S’s Secret ( Shobhaa De`)..But Dad said no. Looks like he has a poor opinion of her.  Hmmm.

I can listen to ‘Paas Aya Kyon’ a hundred times without knowing the meaning n yet like it all the same.

I think I should study Sanskrit NOW.

I’ll save this wid a pass and so that later I can copy it into my blog.

K...I'll Chill.. But maths is on thursday ...

                                                 Where are those days????

Woteva!!

Seriously crappy mood...Thanks again but Implementation ain't gonna b easy!!Am I addicted 2 self photography??Dunno...I'll put some of em up here....Happy to see Samaneh's blog...I am crazy (Known fact..)

Be back soon..or not....I wonder If people r reading ma blog..:) *wink*( No vidha3, Not @ Syko!!) 

9:00 
Yeah So back again...It was raining and Biddi had a gala time(First experience of rain!).Todsee oni 12 were present n that includes DA and SS and others..TS was absent an so was MLK(after all I'm talking about the Zealous Skolar).Codenames totally Rock!! Privacy Guaranteed..
Um..weekend was Sad...I SO badly wanted to go to Sapna(da new huge 1) and I thought lemme study a few things and then go..So I kinda worked (Who am I kiddin? Real Work) ovur da weekend.And trust me to have unachievable expectations..So yeah the whole thingy went 'Kaput'.And Dad was upset "too" coz he offered that he'll take me there even if I'm not done with my studying but I blandly refused only to repent later..Course we went PV for Dinner (But I din have my "Vanilla wid Hot Chocolate Sauce and Nuts" [Hey but Ma got me one yesterday { Bet Dad isn't aware ov it}])..Yeah and Dinner had it's obvious Weekend Side Effects ( The Usual and Stressful).


Ts has a prog tommy.Wonder how she's gonna manage it..But after all she'll pull off a fast one since she's Brainy( Unlike me who has to swot for HOURS to understand Panini's innumerable and Ununderstandable rules of SANSKRIT...It's true..I spend most ov my time on this subject..)
K I've gotto quit comparisons..I am what I am and Like People tell me, I should "Never compare Myself to anyone; rather Introspect" .


Is what I'm thinking really happening? I should wait and watch.Interesting though.I'm refering to 2 things .Both are mentioned in this post..


So Thursday's Maths.This is part of my plan to Stay Calm.I hope blogging makes things clearer to me.I want to do well this time.I'm not aiming at beating anyone, just wanna improve myself which has always bin ma target.(Doesn't mean I've always achieved it).So All I pray is that Lemme get how much I deserve.If My preps are good,I hope I get good marks and If they're not: Well..Erm...Wotevur..


Today was good fun..Why am I the target of all jokes? Oh well, I spose I ask for it with all my crazy talk..I like it though! Like Pa says, A good sport can take a joke bout themselves...Easy for you to say Dad with all those Election Jokes And Winks and Hearing Problems.. ..


When I say where are those days..I mean the Obvious. I love seeing all those Kodai fotos..Though I have bin told the ever-Irritating dialogue of " Life is not Kodaikanal" several times. Blogging kinda helps to understand myself better I guess..Yeah I'm da type to prefer a job as tour guide to a Desk one..But that's me! and I like being myself.So what if everyone has the same opinion(Humph! copycats.) I stand out and I like dat..


Hols I wanna join some camp and I have C ma'm's insistence to support me.HEY!! I saw JB a few days ago...N I did'nt say anything...I can't believe I'm the same girl who wrote "SHIT I missed JB!!!!" in her diary about a year and a half ago..Things change. I guess I've grown up.I have a feeling JB 'z younger by a year( EEP!! that's embarrassment!! Pinki told me- 'lo? who can believe her though)
Yeah I'm still surprised about the JB. Once upon a time I was like crazy to get a glimpse.Now I just walk past without as much as a glance at the Red Faced Red Tee friend of .....whom Pinki treats like a Bro. OMG! I wrote a letter to Pinki once and she was all about Jb searching an all such foolish Imaginations....


Yeah that's what it is..Me and my foolish Imaginations. That'll never come true. That'll RND as dreams. As unfulfilled desires .That I have given up for the sake of someone else's happiness.They'll remain in my heart and in my diary ( which still exists Folks!- Na I din Chuck it like what 3 people think)


IPL is on and I haven't seen one ONE  match completely .N mah totally understanding friends accuse me of Nerdiness.Thanks , Thanks a Lot.And Dad telling me to Chill and .........


I wish I could understand the meaning of the lovely songs I'm listening to..(What a shame! I never really understood Hindi).But Some songs ...I do know..and will never forget~(PNM and YIH!!!!!:)..Foreva!!)


And now feeling kinda sleepy..Shall I do some Math?? Or some Bio...No I'll Blog a bit more!


Some people were my friends and they'll foreva remain in my memory...

• Archana : My first friend. A year older. With a bro called (Oh well I'd rather not    mention it!). Cute girl. Chinmaya Vidyalaya. Now nothin else.                                    ~Will not forget the lazy afternoons~
• Navyashree: BSK 2nd Stage. Year Older. Has a sister:Komal or Sumal.Kumarans.Nice girl.                                                                                                                 ~Will forget neither the prank calls nor the foolish clubs or that lovely pic~
• Rachana( Karate) : Ballur Venkobra Rachana. Nice Ikon. Year Older. Sudarshan Vidya Mandir.Has  a bro. Kind and forgiving.                                                                     ~ Will not forget my rudeness or the Lalbagh trip.~

Yeah So Mah time's up and it' s fair enough...
Gtg..
Dunno when I'll be back.
Say 8th April?
Taata!

$%##@$%@%$#

I can't think of anything else...I rarely use cuss words but now My mind is FULL of them..
So many things to do and So little time..heard it somewhere...

Right I forgot to tell u  that I saw MNIK.. I liked SRK for once (an perhaphs the last time..)
Then wot else? Going Insane..Several reasons..Need to look up a cure 4 Infant Withdrawl Symptoms..

Why isn't Dad here when I need him the most???Baroda..Dammit no connection 2..Sent a mail..Doubt he'll check it..Ajji-swap-Vidya-swap-Lavanya-swap-U..How many more???


I should stop reading Harry Potter for the 100th time!!!Killing my conscience...


AARGH!!!
How much more should I endure???There is a limit..Too many opinions..Just leave me alone..I don wanna take sides...

A lesson for life..

Ok!! first I should get outta fb...Second I'll not do wot I did yesterday...Never again...

3rd and MOST important...Chandana ma'm taught me a great lesson today:To Love. With and Open Mind. Just Love.

I have to record it..S o ma'm first asked me to do what she says and asked me tell her what was in my heart..
Initially I felt strange and shy but it was for long...I was telling her what it was about and how I felt..She understood and I knew I from fer unwandering eyes.Yes I am lucky I have people who love my unconditionally .Who accept me the way I am. But ...

Right , so we spoke for more than half and hour .Mam shared her own problem which I cannot share.Rite so we've got a problem and I should accept it and live with it.Love people with all their faults..They never asked for it.Look at the brighter side. Help them come out of it.Don't make them feel guilty, and just love them .
Don't use your brain too much..Use your heart and don't be judgemental.She's giving her hand forward, accept it.Don't cut yourself away from them.Spend time with everybody.Years later you will look back and be happy.Don't kill your emotions.Your sister looks upto you.


Mam thank you very much..I mean IT.I'll try my best to improve as a person..

I feel a LOT better..Dear Heart: Start working!! It's bin a long time since you did more than beating!!

Ok here's a poem about myself..I know it's madness!!

Composed at 8.30 on a busy day....

K gtg!!!

:)

:)

Syko

Complicated but loving every minute of it....
LOTS MORE....
3rd March...

Everything else is also too complicated...I've got AC in my room...It's great..I love it..Nowadays feeling totally upset....I wear a Bindi because I want to.I'm proud of it's significance and that's why I wear it..Not to make sure others can see it too...Seriously!How does the size matter..So started bad...Bio-kannu and 2 periods of Q.E then that idiotic SUPW teacher came to sanskrit class...A1 boys are SO stupid...LAME....I honestly dunno how I survived 40 minutes listening to that Supw teacher....

Lunch was "bleargh..".Then we had physics Test in Lunch Break...Ooops..4th was Eng Lang..GB came ,was in a jovial mood spoke about ripped jeans and future pilots opting for that career because of air hostesses..(hmmmm..VB?)..She seemed impressed by her own jokes...She asked me why was I so silent...She has heard a lot about me it seems...I'm sorry ma'm I'm gonna be the way I am ...

Then we had geog free-Baagal Kot was absent ..I was bored...Everybody else was doing something or the other with "somebody or the other"...I'm bored of my bench..Sums and Deeps are great friends and Syko has been living upto her name leaving me confused and lonely and irritated and desolated and AGITATED...Ok I called Geog teach a nutcase on FB..and she read it so did Vishaka..But that's what I think..She IS foolish and for heaven's sake she's NOT funny...I can't stand it when people are giggling like hell behind me while I sit silently;my brain pounding with frustration ;on the most lacklustre bench in 10A2..Oh and btw we had our assembly today...I hate Syko for spoling my chance sto say the pledge...J!

What's irritating me is that Syko's creating a bond b/w the first bench ppl and ME...
Just coz I sit there doesn't make me a part of their gang...Like "Me and Bugchi"??I hate her...I dunno why....

People are strange...It's hard to cope up with the maddening changes in the way they behave with you..And Dhru got many complaints Today....(can't mention:confidential...)

I dunno but I think it's true when people say(Actually only one person!')I've become hard-hearted..
It's not that I'm cruel or something..Maybe I can't really truly love anybody because I think somewhere I 've lost it...I'm finding it difficult to understand itmyself..But it's true..perhaphs after what happened on 23rd September 2008...I do like I lot of people I have friends and all...But the concept of "love" is strange to me...I find it difficult to...Maybe it's just too many things kept suppressed within my cerebellum...

Now that I've started I might as well get a few things cleared up within myself..I wish to be more free..Flexible..Open...Broad minded..
These are the things I already am but I'm not able to express it...As an individual I want to lead my life the way I want ..and it is going to be that way sooner or later..I isn't rebellion it's a demand for broad minded attitude towards everything in life...


I kind of feel sad for Divya...There's just TOO much pressure on her to grow up fast ,become like me(now everyone wants her to be like me but nobody appreciates me as an individual:))And its just not right...They should just leave her to grow up on her own.Stop overprotecting her and grow and become a different individual; not a failed clone of me...

Are Syko and me really good friends??I dunno how other "Best friends" are so I can't say much...But if we are not as close as we were I blame myself...We are friends but we sit apart,never sit together during break,hardly speak during Sanksrit and speak a bit on the way to the bus stop...It isn't the kiind of friendsship where I know everything about you and the same applies to you...It's strange ..we have many differences varied preferences and we're just not "like peas in a pod"..

So it's nearly 11Pm and I better sleep coz I've gotto get up early and revise Bio and Physics for the tests tomorrow..I guess I'm better after blogging a bit...N I don't think I can complete the Wayanad Blog...

Gonna test BioSleep...


---~*Jayashree HD Rao*~---

Nice day...Dunno why,,,

It surprises me that though I have work piled up,yet I say it was a nice day.It brought back old memories,the old times and it was hilarious as well!

C ma'm came late for the special class and he lesson was interesting though she continued for a long time.
She let us free for Maths(Ma'm had gone to the Saraswati Puja )It was from then that Deeps and I chatted...
It was great ;thinking about the old cherished memories when life had no goal()..Several long hours were spent in gazing at the clouds and guessing their shapes..
I would joblessly amble up and down roads plucking flowers or speaking to random people on the road.My biggest hobby was studying people..Very interesting ,human Psychology is...

Deepthi is like me in many ways ;both love everything related to English and both have younger sisters.Also both of us have several similar views on various issues...Today was great..I know she liked it too..Though Sumana was like "talk to others too",It's just that they'll laugh at us...

We revisited those old "Barbie days"....I now there are people who thing it's girly n being a sissy.I don't care a damn- losers..I like what I like n Nobody can change that..
Yeah,as a kid I loved those dolls and I loved the additional sets you got along with them..It was nice to recollect something you will never get back in you life but will always remain in your heart..
Just like every boy has played with Hot wheels ,I have also loved dolls and dressing them up..
Deeps and I have a lot in common in this aspect..

Ok Ma's calling me 4 dinner...I gtg...Bu lemme finish first..

I can't forget the blunder I made while speaking of dolls(I can't tell what it is but all I can say is Evribody saw the three of us laughing with tears in our eyes @ my crazy mistake!!!)

Then lunch with Syko was nice and Physics was also good though it was 2 periods.. Computer as usual she came and said something to me...PT was kay coz I hate Throwball but I liked it for the Jokes and for the fact that I was the slowest when everybody rushed up the stairs...

next what happened...Is watery and i dont want to elaborate...

Sall for today!!!
LOADS OF WORK 2 DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 15th in Wayanad......

25th of January 2010 will remain in my memory not only because it was my 15th Birthday but also because we were heading to Blue Ginger Resorts, Wayanad!!
After getting ready and a visit to the temple ,it was time to start..It was really sad to leave Anbu out of the this trip but it was inevitable...

We started off from our house at 10:33 am and the drive was pretty smooth...With Mom asleep Dad was driving at 100km/hr and within two hours we had landed in Mysore...Ma was pretty dazed to wake up and find herself in the Dasaprakash Hotel driveway..

After lunch we entered the National Park area and Dad told us to keep looking for any animal...
Then as I was taking random videos of the highway road,Dad spotted and deer and even Ma saw it...Sadly,Dad reversed the car and the poor thing ran away....

And now for the big thing(literally,it was!!)..we saw a few people standing and watching something at a short distance and out of curiousity,even we slowed down and what we saw was an Elephant!!!!(I say it's small,Dad says it was medium sized and Ma is raving about a gigantic elephant !!).Immediately, I got out the camera and captured the whole thing in camera mode..It goes like this:

• I get out of the car and so does Dad(but I shut it with a bang.)

• I'm wearing black(Dad's like It saw someone of its one kind)..(my friends totally agree with that..)

• The elephant saw me and with a loud "Rrrraaaaaaaaaa"(Ok I heard it like that!) charged towards us.(According to Amma, there was a huge cloud of dust by its heavy movement)

• I'm watching the whole thing ,thinking how good the video is gonna be. Dad runs toward the car..
• I 'm still standing there foolishly looking into the camera until Dad shouts "GET INSIDE NOW!!!!!!"...And then seeing the animal pretty close by I rush into the car..And Dad immediately starts the car and we're going in Hi-Speed.
• I realize the video is still capturing all the drama and on focusing it to the spot where we were a few seconds ago,now stood and angry young elephant!
• Oh!I forgot to mention! There was background music as well!!(Ma was totally petrified and imagining what would have happened if we ran away..or if the elephant had a go @ the car...(Dad n me are like"It's ok!it's over !!It was fun wasn't it??")
• When we saw the video,we were happy that the elephant had come out fairly well in the whole thing but Dad says the biggest thing is all the Masala added my Amma and not the elephant itself(Which is true...very true....)

After this fiasco(I dunno any other word...) we saw deer and a distance...The drive was real good and Dad was enjoying it too..
Very soon we reached the said destination from where we were told that a jeep would take us to the resort.Ma was apprehensive about how the ride was going to be...

Not very soon the jeep arrived ;driven by Iforgothisname and after explaining our problem,we started the journey..
I don't want to drag this part(though it actually took nearly 1 hr to get there..)The gist is that the drive was really bad.We (Especially Mom) Didn't enjoy it one bit and Ma was extremely tired and it was a painful journey uphill on an untarred path.We reached the place rather subdued and ma immediately declared that she did'nt like the resort..

(To be Continued....)

19th Feb..

Ok so we entered the resort and were in no mood to recieve our welcome drink(mom would have willingly thrown it on his face!!:))So we saw our cottage.I instantly loved it and tried to cheer them up but looks like they were not too happy so I left it at that..

I had a look around the place and liked it for its laid back atmosphere(Some thing I love!)..It was in the midst on a plantation on one side and a forest on the other with a wonderful view of Chembra peak..
I liked the pool (Actually there were 2..)but I swam in neither(Since I can't which I know is a silly thing..)Dad and I played TT and later we took a few pics and played carrom..I almost forgot! it was my Bday that day and I was enjoying every minute it!!I had finished a decade and a half on Earth!!!I kept telling Ma and Pa how much I liked this place...They too were slowly beginning to like the place.By dinner all of us were in High spirits the bad ride was forgotten and we had a wonderful meal and went to bed....

Day 2

All of us woke up damn late(Even pa!) and then Dad and I went for a walk were we climbed down to a small waterfall and stood there enjoying the beauty..I don't know what I liked more; the fact that I was here for a break and away from home after a real long time or the beauty of the place..It's complicated but I enjoyed every minute of it...

Then after Mom n Dad had a walk(I was reading Pollyanna) we lazed around, then went for The Trek!!!!
Mom said she would'nt come so we didn't force..Then we were all geared up and Jitin(The guy who would take us on the trek) came...

First we reached a huge rock atop a bigger rock aroung wich water flowed..This man moved slowly said "first put you're leg here" and "here and then finally "here!"..
I was like "How D'you do that?", then I tried and put my foot and SPLASH!!(I fell into the water!!!!I thought I had fallen several feet but later I was told it was less than 3 feet r sumthing.)

We kept taking breaks and slowly we climbed the rocks by the stream.We also took a few snaps on the way..
One thing about rock climbing is You've gotta find you're way..The guide may help you up but if you wanna get going you need to find the right footing..Much like how it is in my life.I need to find my calling and work towards it..No body can teach you rock climbing..You discover it yourself...Just like life..It's an unending discovery ..
W e traced the mouth of the stream but could'nt get to the exact location since the route was getting too thorny..so we started back and reached within half an hour..

gottogoooooooo

9th Standard....Through the Year

Every year brings forth new opportunities and is a totally different experience..
The holidays were great with Base and a camp with Rachana in Coorg and another in Kodaikanal.

School started with Chandana mam as the class teacher and things were a change to me.It was nice and we were lucky to have got chandana ma'm but it was hard to adapt to.With Practicals in Chemistry, Physics, Biology,Project drafts and their final submissions,Weekly Bio and Chem tests and Base classes and their tests,Things were getting hectic..

But I was'nt feeling hectic(atleast in June and July I wasn't)..I thought maybe like 8th standard ,I can study in the end and balance fun and studies....How wrong I was!!then came the Base tests and followed by this were the school tests.In all the Unit tests in school, my performance was bad it unlike my marks in 8th..
But i thought,this is a unit test,I'll do better in the school tests..However it wasn't so and consequently my performance was below my capability had I put in enough effort...So I decided to get serious and study...
Meanwhile Base ,I wasn't in the top 150 in the first test and I really did'nt put in enough effort for the next volumes...Which was a pity..
Talent's Day(I actually Danced!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!and Quiz-2nd-lost narrowly to Blue), was great but not as good as last year,It was more like a highly disciplined cultural event with no one to have fun-Unlike last year..

All this while Divya was slowly learning things..Just like how I used to struggle to understand the complex language called sanskrit,Divya to was learning things, right from sitting,walking,running (before she had even mastered walking!)..It was great fun to watch her grow...Maybe distracting but I was working hard this time..Exams came and went and I thought I had well except for ...This was followed by hols...

After school,what I was dreading was true..My worst dream was now a reality,for days I struggled to come to terms with my failure and called myself one...Base tests were there,but I knew I had'nt done well...Sanskrit spoilt all my hardwork..If I had got passing marks in Sanskrit I would have touched 80%...Now when I look back ,there's no point in saying I "would have got 80", all I got was 77 and there 's no excuse to that...

Anbu's 1'st B'day was great!!!!I was really happy for her and she looked great that day!I'm proud to have a sis no matter how much the age difference is...

With a LOT of help from Pa and the Tuition teacher I began to work hard in Sanskrit...It was hard but I wanted to do well in it,I wanted to prove to myself and to others that I'm not a failure...and I was working on Base as well..

School day came and went with me compering in Kannada(Unbelievable!)..Then I participated in an Inter-School Essay writing Competition and got the 3rd prize..

Dec test was again a bad one since I spent most of my time on Sanskrit and got a mere 28 (But Dad says that's improvement from where I was.)so my % was 73...A bigger lesson which I learnt was that NEVER TRUST YOUR FRIENDS FOR ACADEMIC ISSUES..I mean in that aspect everybody lies ...But that doesn't mean they haven't studied,It just misleads you....And I was mislead....Silly reason but that was it....


Holidays were mostly spent in studying or thinking about the fact that I'm spending my holidays studying...I saw Paa and 3 Idiots in the holidays ,both were good movies.....
Then the Final Exams began, I had prepared ( not 100%,around75%)....I was nervous...It all went well until History when I was feeling totally down for 2 reasons;a)-too much to study and b)(Now it's silly)Why am I doing this?? I was totally upset for no particular reason and this affected me badly for my preparation in Sanskrit ..That day was bad and without Dad's help I would'nt have been able to make it to School...That day will remain in my memory(for Dad's help and for my silly behaviour!!) for ever....Soon exams over ,worked hard for Base and now even that's over...I know my marks as well...I think my marks is like my first Base test...So no comments about the marks since I also want to know my ranking...But there was effort (Sincere) unlike the previous one..

So I've come to the end of the year's account..Seriously, It's more like an account of my academic performance!!!But I've learnt more than Bio and Chem this year..Yeah, Bio taught me that the heart is made of auricles and venrticles ,but not that it contains feelings and it's hard to understand the varying moods of people...Then there's friendship which I'm always learning about;trying to understand my friends....And Anbu who forms an integral part But there's one thing for certain,I'm not going to cite any proof for it,It's that I think I've improved as a person over the year..(Maybe not in marks (compared to 8th),but that's not my criteria.....I still am a long way away from being a real good human ,but i believe it's a start from where I was...



So that's all for now I guess..No one thing left...1 person has tried to help me a LOT in all my struggles and that's my Dad...Thanks Dad!!(I'M NOT SAYING THIS JUST BECAUSE UR GOING 2 READ THIS..It's been in my brain for quite some time maybe since 1st Jan)...



*~~Jayashree S Rao~~*

Starting Up...

Just started blogging...Exams over and a huge load off...Sunday I'll be fully free since base exams'll also get over...
I'm really surprised ...Exams over yet why is everybody so serious??Ok people are serious during exams and that's kind of understandable but this is ridiculous!!Even after the exams is surprising to see people with the kind of attitude like they're gonna go home and start studying !!!

So..Divya's having her lunch...I'm damn excited about Neeli Shunti...Ok it's a resort in Wayanad where I'm heading to on Monday....